Brown Eyes

Summary

The text is a poignant reflection on a past relationship with a sibling who has passed away, exploring the narrator's feelings of regret, love, and the impact of mental illness and addiction.

Abstract

The author discovers an old photograph that triggers a flood of memories about a younger, happier time with a sibling who is no longer alive. The sibling is remembered as handsome, sweet, and charming, with a youthful vitality that was tragically cut short. The narrator sees their sibling's reflection in their own brown eyes, particularly in the tears shed over their loss. The text reveals the sibling's struggle with mental illness and addiction, specifically referencing "Fetynol lace," which may imply a connection to drug use. The author expresses a deep sense of sorrow and guilt, questioning whether showing more love or intervening earlier could have changed the outcome. The pain of the sibling's absence is palpable, and the author is determined to honor their memory by ensuring their death was not in vain.

Opinions

The author harbors deep regret over not being more loving or understanding towards their sibling.
There is a sense of helplessness in the face of mental illness and addiction, with the author wondering if they could have done more to prevent their sibling's pain.
The author acknowledges their own role in the strained relationship, admitting to being too tough and not listening enough.
The text conveys a powerful emotional connection between the siblings, despite the torment and conflict that existed.
The author is committed to making something positive out of their sibling's death, suggesting a resolve to fight against the circumstances that led to the tragedy.

in mine…

Found an old photo, wow we were young, Back-to-back we stand, ignorant bliss from what will become.

Handsome and sweet as a boy could be, Charming as hell, I know all would agree!

I see you in my own brown eyes, Your reflection mirrors back in the tears that I cry.

Your smirk, that smile, the youth in your face, Forever young and resting because of a pill — Fetynol lace.

In family pictures, I can see your shift, Where mental illness robs you, your soul went adrift.

The sadness, the pain, mirage boastance, Unknown Subliminal attacks causing self induce penance.

I wish I could freeze this moment, go back in time, Stop life’s clock from ticking, shatter the chime!

Our time together then seems so far away, My time now without you is heart-wrenching each day!

I wish I knew then what to me you meant, You were the big brother I hated, the source of my torment.

I wonder if I had shown you more love, If you would still be here with me, not looking down from above?

I think back to our entire course, Where did I slip up, your pain — could I have prevented the source?

I tried so hard but it was not enough, I fought you too hard, I was too tough!

I didn’t listen, I should have been gentle, I didn’t mean to be harsh or come off judgemental!

I probably made things so much worse, I should have embraced my gift earlier, maybe could have lifted your curse!

Too little too late, so much regret, Your death will not be in vain — I got you — bet!