Hello Dear Reader,
I was scrolling through Medium today- well not scrolling so much as digging. Digging to get through all the cryptocurrency articles to get to the articles written by my friends and favorite writers when I had a thought:
Why don’t I just start my own cryptocurrency?
So I did.
It’s with great pleasure that I introduce to you all my new cryptocurrency: Brocoin.
Guys, I’m so excited about Brocoin. I think its features really set it apart from other cryptocurrency competitors, making it less of a gamble and more of a obvious investment for your future.
And how exactly is it different?
I’m glad you asked. Brocoin is different than other cryptocurrency because, instead of relying on the market, it has its own unique system of valuation.
Your Brocoin shares appreciate literally every time a dude mentions cryptocurrency. You can be anywhere, doing literally anything at all that is in no way related to cryptocurrency, and increase your Brocoin shares by just patiently listening while Max tells you about how he cashed in his Bitcoin to buy some bullshit expensive jeans and upgrade his home office.
That’s right, every time.
Thanksgiving, on dates, at your sister’s birthday, right after sex, every morning on the Medium homepage- every one of these formerly rage-twitch-inducing interactions is now an opportunity to make money.
But what about the cryptocurrency bubble?
Wow, you’re asking a lot of questions today, but that’s okay. Questions are important. But if you interrupt my pitch one more time I will have you forcibly ejected.
That’s really the beauty of Brocoin- there is no bubble. Whether cryptocurrency continues to grow or crashes and takes your boyfriend’s $600 investment with it, Brocoin will always remain in tact.
Because there will always be some dude named Sean ready to corner you at a party and tell you how good or bad his Bitcoin is doing. It’s literally a no-lose investment.