avatarJade Gatsby

Summary

The text is a personal reflection on the emotional journey of building and questioning the strength of one's emotional defenses in the face of an unexpected, intense connection that both challenges and potentially redefines the narrator's sense of self and relationships.

Abstract

The poem "Brick by Brick" delves into the narrator's experience of constructing emotional walls to protect themselves from vulnerability. Upon hearing about a person who could potentially dismantle these defenses, the narrator confronts a mix of fear and curiosity. This individual represents an accidental love, a hope that perhaps they are not unlovable, and a friendship that overwhelms the senses. The narrator, accustomed to a life of emotional scarcity, struggles with the intensity of this newfound connection, which feels like a stark contrast to their previous experiences. Despite the pain associated with this person, the narrator's walls remain standing, leading to a contemplation of whether they are remembered and how they are perceived by this significant other. The poem concludes with a sense of weariness, as the narrator expresses a desire to move on from the consuming nature of this relationship, which has left them emotionally drained.

Opinions

  • The narrator harbors an underlying fear of vulnerability and the potential collapse of their emotional barriers.
  • There is a sense of hope and surprise at the possibility of being loved, which challenges the narrator's self-perception of being unlovable.
  • The connection with the other person is intense and all-consuming, likened to an "amphetamine rush," and contrasts sharply with the narrator's past experiences.
  • The narrator reflects on the pain caused by this relationship, which is metaphorically described as "shattered glass" plunged into them.
  • Despite the emotional upheaval, the narrator's defenses remain intact, prompting them to wonder if they are remembered and if they are cast as the antagonist in the other person's story.
  • The poem ends with a sense of resignation and fatigue, as the narrator expresses a desire to stop dwelling on this relationship, indicating a need for closure or a fresh start.

Brick by Brick

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Someone told me about you recently and I felt afraid, briefly; I thought the wall I had carefully built up brick by brick, stone by stone would come shattering down, a collapse of the only system I engage in wilfully; and I braced myself for the pain I would experience at the sound of your name

A love born of accident; an unattainable glimmer of hope; a friendship that flooded my senses with careful, hesitating drips of coffee; amphetamine rush in my veins; maybe I am not unlovable maybe someone can love me and this is that person; turned into fervent, burning gulps of water when I’d spent my life crawling through sand and I choked on it

Time passes and stories end and this one took forever to read; too many nights spent allowing myself to feel the pain of the shattered glass you plunged into me

Brick by brick, stone by stone, I bled myself dry and covered up and I felt afraid but my system stood; I felt no pain, only curious; Do you ever think of me? Am I the villain in your love story? You were my favourite book but I am tired of reading.

Poetry
Love
Life
Free Verse
Relationships
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