Writer introduction
Breaking Britni
How I got here
It is spring here in Australia, and in typical Melbourne fashion, we are getting four seasons a day. See the raindrops on a gorgeous iris in my backyard, one of about a hundred bringing light to my day.
With more to come; look at those two buds ready to jump out and say “G’day!”
How I came to be here in this part of the Internet is a story I’ll tell backwards, if I may.
What am I?
I’m an editor with ILLUMINATION and ILLUMINATION-Curated here on Medium. I work with a team of other editors on taking the submissions of writers — hundreds every day! — and making sure they are good to publish.
We editors work as a team, and if we need help, we ask each other on our dedicated Slack channels. There are dozens of us spaced out around the world, and our channel is full of chatter and greetings. It’s always morning and night, day and dawn here!
The work can be a challenge sometimes, but mostly it’s something I enjoy. Helping writers get their work before a wide audience, where they can receive feedback and make a bit of money.
I’m a writer myself, you know
I was recruited as an editor here by the sweet Chris Hedges. Her kind words and gentle encouragement inspired me to make the leap from being a passenger to helping to drive the bus. What glory!
I write poetry, philosophy, cultural commentary, and fiction, often salacious in nature. Flip through my profile to see what I’ve been doing lately, but for some reason, readers seem to enjoy this bit of fun:
I like telling stories. Always have since I was a schoolgirl, entertaining my friends at break. I looked up once to find the headmistress listening in as I spun some silly tale of princesses and dragons and kittens.
“Do go on, Britni,” she said, “I can’t wait to hear what happens next!”
Not Bad, just Medium
I discovered Medium because my writing on Amazon and my blog weren’t bringing in more than a few dollars. Honestly, once I paid for the website and subscriptions to various services, not to mention the computing stuff, I was going backwards!
Medium changed that. I began making money.
Write a lot of articles, and those cents turn into dollars, you know. It’s all a game of chance, really. I thought my story of how I discovered I could pee like a man was funny and informative.
Before I had time to consider the wisdom of my actions, I was wriggling out of my panties. Frank took them, stuffed them into his pocket, and held me as I awkwardly clambered over the railing. God, that metal was cold.
He hooked his leg around a post, wrapped his arms around me, and I cautiously shuffled in front until I was standing where he had been. Right on the edge.
“Don’t look down,” he instructed me.
Of course, my eyes dropped. Along with my expectations for long and happy life. This was the way I’d go. Cartwheeling through the void in a spray of urine. At least my underwear would be clean.
One cent, last month. Lifetime total earnings: $1.48. Oh well, I got some fun out of it. Maybe I can sell the movie rights…
Paperback blogger
Before Medium, I was heavily involved in salacious literature. Not porn, but erotica. Sometimes it’s kind of hard to tell the difference. I remember one trip to Germany, and — inspired by the dismal surroundings of the economy cabin — I was writing about how the jet-setters up front in First Class might be spending their time.
I was really getting into my story, there on my iPad, when the lady beside me gasped in horror. I reconsidered, and shut down my writing for a bit.
I’d heard that writing erotic stories paid very well, and when I investigated I found that some of it was really awful. Written by men for men, you see, and there was no flirting, no subtlety, no teasing. The housewife opens the door to the randy plumber, and within a couple of minutes they are fitting the bits together.
I read one story about a computer camp where the teenage nerd got it on with the teacher, a well-stacked Indian auntie. It was grindingly awful. No subtlety, no romance, no emotion. Just sex every second page and the intervening paragraphs were just filler before the next bout, heavy on the body bits, light on the grammar.
I can do better than this, I thought to myself. And I did, taking the characters and the setting and having a lot of fun with them. It was my way of educating men, I decided. You want to have a good time with a woman, do this, and that, and especially this.
There was a lot of bare flesh involved, some lubricants, and four candles, and it’s not quite what you may be thinking.
Before the Pandemic
I work in travel, and the bottom has not just dropped out of the travel business, it’s fallen through the floor and kept right on going.
It wasn’t the career I’d expected, but it was a lot of fun, and I’ve been able to fly around the world nine times in the past fifteen years, and a lot of there-and-back trips.
Driving Route 66 in a red Mustang, taking a cruise on the tranquil backwaters of Kerala, exploring the Royal Mile at dawn, waking up on Milford Sound, eating a fish lunch on the Golden Horn, studying Plato in Delphi, drinking peach beer in Persepolis, kissing my lover on top of the Eiffel Tower. It’s been a blast.
All in the past, I’m afraid. I have trips to Japan and Finland and New Zealand planned for next year, but I suspect that none of them are happening, except maybe New Zealand.
Before work, there was study
University, and oh boy did I have a ball there! I blush to think of some of the scrapes I got myself into, but it was fun. And educational.
Before uni, I was in a very strict environment. Perhaps some would call it a cult, but it involved a lot of group living, meditation two or three times a day, writing Sanskrit verses with bamboo calligraphy pens, dressing modest, eating vegetarian, and discussing ancient philosophy.
Looking back, it was kind of weird, but at the time I loved it, and I was sad to leave so many friends, and to change out of a calm and beautiful routine when I had to flee.
That’s another story, and I’ll tell it one day, but not just now.
And going right back, there was a suburban childhood, weekends on a farm, uncles to tell stories to a girl in a fairy dress, horses to feed and lambs to hug.
But here I am. Right here, right now
Full of stories, and a bit of time to tell them. Come back: I write something fresh every day or so.
Britni
