Breadcrumbs to the Bedroom
Sometimes they lead to nowhere good
It’s 1990. Steve steps out onto the balcony of the Oceanside hotel in Barbados. The sun seems brighter, the air fresher, the flowers more colourful. The birds make music, rivaling that of a Mozart concerto.
The salty air meets his nostrils. He fills his lungs with it, then pulls his long blond, curly hair back, allowing the sun to caress his face and neck. A glint catches his eye, drawing his attention to a table with two, half-filled wine glasses, and a bottle of zinfandel in a silver ice bucket. Looking into the room, peacefully on the king-size bed, lies the reason for his joy. Lois Mckenzie, the love of his life, and wife of one day.
Steve watches as his wife drapes on her housecoat. Her waist-length scarlet hair brushes against her ample bosom, her nipples playing peekaboo with him. His organ tenting his Hanes, he hungrily approaches her.
It’s 1995. Lara, 4, and Lydia, 2, keep househusband Steve busy. His hands shake as he shears his golden mane, like feathering a peacock. You’ll be back, he promises. I can’t serve two masters. Lois doesn’t notice as her fingers infrequently rake through his hair as she is busy building a business. MGC is growing from just residential accounts to commercial. Home is for sleeping and sometimes breakfast. Lunch? Supper? Sex? Rare!
Lois returns home and the girls continue colouring as if she were invisible. They don’t know her.
“Hi, Mommy.”
It’s not enough. She relishes their enthusiastic shrieks of joy announcing her arrival as they spring toward her, arms as wide as the east is from the west, clamping around her thigh and only letting go when pried.
Motherhood is on hold for the sake of Mackenzie Groundskeeping Company, while he takes her place in the home. When did her plans take the wrong road at the fork? What was the fork? Was it marrying Steve or starting the company or having children?
It’s 2000. Lara, 9, Lydia, 7, Lisa, 5 and Luke, 3 frolic in Muskoka Lake. Their laughter is a melodious song in Steve’s ears. The success of Mckenzie Groundskeeping Company has enabled Lois and him to purchase two homes-one in the posh Hidden Acres area of Kitchener and the other in Muskoka. They dine in the best restaurants; afford private school for the kids; a Mercedes; BMW, and Porsche, and to take yearly vacations.
As they have done for many weekends, they come to the cottage without Lois. She will join them later if she comes at all.
He wants them in French immersion, she says just English is fine. He wants them in soccer, she says dance. He wants chocolate cake, she says ice cream cake. He wants a pink dress, she says blue. He wants Disney World, she says Myrtle Beach.
She rejects his attempts to include her. She doesn’t need his pity. The girls will turn to her soon enough. What does he know about training bras and periods?
It’s 2010. Steve has gone on the previous four vacations with the kids without his wife. Lois takes weekend jaunts here and there with them but is unwilling to take weeks-long time away from the business. Their pleas go ignored like begging the wind not to blow. Steve goes because the kids want to go. It’s about creating memories.
This time just the kids are going. That’s what Steve told Lois.
Yellow roses always lift her. At least they used to. Maybe they will again. Steve picks some up, along with some cinnamon buns and a bottle of Merlot. Maybe they can reminisce their way back to where they used to be when he left her breathless.
She is home. It is dark except for the upstairs hallway light which breadcrumbs the way to the bedroom. Did the kids call and let her know he was coming? It is supposed to be a surprise. Steve is hopeful. The door is ajar. The relaxing hum of the shower is promising.
Dare he? The bulge in his pants answers the question.
The clothes fall, and he charges the bathroom afraid he might change his mind if he lingered. He sees his wife.
Lois had watched as her family left on their vacation. An hour later a car drove up. She applied strawberry lip gloss as her lover flings the door open. They tore each other’s clothes off and he carried her into the shower.
It is as he entered her and began to make love to her that Lois saw her husband.
She falls back and thuds against the wall as her co-adulterer is snatched from her grasp. Slithering down and slapping the drenched tile, she hears the crunch of bone as his skull is bashed against the wall. Blood sprays, staining her body like paint thrown on a canvas. Her stomach contents add to the masterpiece and her screams add to the shower washing blood down the drain.
The police come quickly. Steve had told the operator that he had killed a man fucking his wife. Her wails are now whimpers. She doesn’t look at him.
He wants to say something but doesn’t know what. Hate, where are you? Love, are you there? Anger? Disgust? Disdain? Can any of you make me feel? The handcuffs don’t give them a chance to respond.
As Lara, Lydia, Lisa, and Luke become her focus, Lois quiets, feeling isolated. Her tears join the fall of the shower.
The water dwindles as an officer wraps a blanket around her and lifts her out of the wet scene. She leans on the officer and is partially carried into the bedroom. She wants to say ‘sorry’ but what good will that do.
“Don’t call the kids,” says Steve. “Let them enjoy their vacation.”
She doesn’t contradict him this time.