Boy verses Girl: A difference in understanding.

Wait, what?

Rewind a bit more than 16 years to before my husband and I were officially dating. I knew who he was but did not really know him. I had seen him a few times on the bus or at school, and later when he came home on leave from the Army and for good.

Some point he and my youngest older brother had become friends, and he would stop over at the house — this was after the military. In fact, my husband helped my brother with work and was easily his most reliable, responsible, respectful, mature, intelligent, and handsome friends.

At the time, I was dating someone else who also graduated with my brother and had always been more of an acquaintance — that changed drastically when we broke-up; however, it revealed a lot of people’s true characters. I took waaaaaay better care of my ex than he ever did of me — he crashed my car and never fixed it, I gave him gifts as I broke-up with him, I bought him furniture for his apartment, etc., but nonetheless, I am always the asshole, even as a responsible 18/19 year old working multiple jobs (still broke), going to college, and always trying to go above and beyond for those I cared about.

Anyway, my now husband and I started hanging out. We went from mere acquaintances to good friends — so I thought …

I have no idea now how the topic came up, but turned out he thought we were dating and I was thinking we could maybe think about dating lol. He had been interested for a lot longer than I had any idea, and here he thought we were already more than ‘just friends’. I mean, I liked him right away, but didn’t think I had a chance. We could immediately talk about anything and have real in depth philosophical important conversations about any and all kinds of topics. It was wildly refreshing — something I didn’t have previously, with really anyone in my life actually.

He was and still is kind, smart, sexy, funny, hard-working, etc., and he immediately treated me better than anyone in my life ever had — trust me, my family noticed too (and not in the happy family kind of way). In fact he bought me much needed furniture that had been falling apart for yeeeears despite asking my parents because it was ruining my clothes (catching and tearing holes). We had tons in common and also a lot to learn about and from one another — we still do even after 16 years :)

Recently, we have been having some conversations to better understand ourselves, each other, and the way we each understand things. I might think or feel like I am saying something so clearly, and very much visa versa, but come to find out through clarifying questions, it is not being interpreted or understood in the manner we mean.

Ironically, much of the time we are saying the same thing, but in vastly different ways. Only once we have taken the time to dissect it, do we realize we are in fact nearly 100% in agreement and/or on the same page. As I have said many times, it’s like we are speaking a different language from one another.

Even after all this time together, we still have soooo much to learn from and about one another. I personally find it so incredible, amusing, and even powerful. How many people ever have the privilege to truly get to know someone even half as well as my husband and I know each other? How many people care enough to put in that much time, effort, care, mindfulness, etc. to not just maintain but still explore one another and their relationship?

I have been called many things in my life by various people including boring, prude, vanilla, etc., but to me and my husband we are still exciting, fresh, new, exploratory, as well as comfortable, safe, wonderfully one another’s in a way that many people never experience. We grow together as individuals as well as a couple — not something everyone does or understands. Often also called weird, my husband and I are very committed conjoined independent individuals who are also soul-mates that are still excited by and for one another after many more years than just the life experienced on this plane of existence :)

It goes to show you that until a conversation is had, anyone can be thinking or feeling a way that is unbeknown to another person. It goes to show the potential differences in interpretation of people in general, or in this case boy verse girl. I’m so glad we have had all the many conversations over the years and that one sooo many years ago about dating, because had I not known where he was at (or visa versa) one or both of us may have essentially ‘screwed-up’ and we might not be together today.

Take the risk, expose your soul and who you are. You just might be surprised with the response you receive in return if it is with the ‘right’ person (or ‘being’ — plants included =D).

Ta ta for now and enjoy your day!

❤ With all the Love, Light, Grace, hopes and prayers for a Better, Brighter, Happier and Healthier tomorrow, as well as many Blessings to Your Health, Wellness, Happiness, and Well-being. ❤

Your Idealistic HolisticNerd ~ ❤Mind ❤ Body ❤Spirit/Soul ❤ ~ ❤