“Born This Way” Is The Greatest Disability Show Of All Time.

The Down Syndrome reality show you didn’t know you needed.

Format:

“Born This Way” is a slice of life reality series that depicts seven adults with Down Syndrome navigating their twenties as they try to move out, form relationships, and start their careers. Full disclaimer: I accidentally skipped Season 1 and the later seasons are not available in Japan, so this is mainly focusing on Season 2.

Stars:

Elena:

Elena regrettably does not get much screen time. Her mother, Hiromi, gave birth to her in Japan, and moved to the States shortly after because there was no acceptance of disabled children in Japan at that time. It’s clear that her mother wants the best for her, but at the same time, cares a lot about appearances. For Elena, who struggles to regulate her emotions, it puts a lot of pressure on her to stifle them until they come bursting out in potentially harmful ways. The catalyst is when Elena pushes her mother off-camera in Trinidad and Hiromi debates going to a mental health professional. In the end, Hiromi obtains medication for Elena to take instead, though I wish we could have seen Elena going to a therapist to talk through the issues that don’t seem to be associated with Down Syndrome. I assume there is more background information given in the first season, but I feel like I barely got to know Elena throughout the course of this season.

Cristina:

Cristina’s storyline follows her ballroom dancing journey. As the lessons progress, she begins to develop a crush on her handsome ballroom teacher, Rumen. She writes a letter to Rumen expressing her feelings, and he handles this professionally by inviting her fiancé to come to a class to meet him, as well as gently drawing a boundary with her. Cristina makes great progress in her dancing, and eventually takes second place in the Emerald Ball. While she is upset she did not get first place, I love the scene where she expresses that she feels she has disappointed her mother by not winning, and her mother says “no, you should be proud of yourself!”

Cristina’s storyline also follows her engagement to Angel, who honestly lives up to his name. When Cristina tells Angel that she wishes he would be more romantic, he enlists Cristina’s brother to teach him how to waltz. Angel sets up a rose petal heart on the patio for them to dance on, him dressed in a suit and Cristina in her Emerald Ball dress. I also thoroughly enjoyed seeing the independent living classes they took together. There, they learn how to do laundry, wash dishes, and anything else they may need to know to live on their own. The pair seem set up for success and *spoiler alert* had a gorgeous Beauty and the Beast-themed wedding in Season 4!

Rachel:

Rachel loves champagne and twerking. She works an office job and spends lots of time with her family, who seem lovely, but also kiss Rachel on the mouth?! I question if this is done with all the children and I just missed it, or if it’s an infantilization of Rachel, because Sean’s parents do that as well. That being said, Rachel’s mother Laurie is a great support to Hiromi, Elena’s mother, which seems very needed. Rachel’s storyline follows her health journey as she is diagnosed with pre-diabetes. Rachel eats food in secret, which seems like something that again, should be discussed with a mental health professional. She feels that she hasn’t met a boy because of her weight, but her brother and his boyfriend do a great job of reminding her that the right person will love you at any weight, and that her primary focus should be her health. Overall, I love that the focus is never on appearances, and Laurie promises to walk an upcoming 5K with her, where she meets Frank, who not only asks her on a date, but plans the whole thing right on the spot!

Although it looks like Rachel forms a relationship with Subodh in later seasons, it’s clear that her family is loving, supportive, and does not restrict her independence. My favorite scene with her family is when she is hesitant to go on the camping trip with her mother, and Laurie promises to stay in a hotel nearby so that Rachel will feel comfortable enough to join the group, where she discovers how much fun white water rafting is.

Megan:

Megan is the clear star of the show as the CEO of Megology, a tie-dye apparel company. Her story follows her trying to become independent enough to move out to California on her own while running the company out of her mother’s home in Colorado with cousin Becky. Megan’s other dream is to be a mother and get married, something that seems to be an attempt to make up for her own fractured family, with Megan’s parents getting divorced when she was young. Megan even confronts her father, saying she doesn’t want her future husband to be like him, and asking who would even take care of her if her mother dies, insinuating that he has not played that active of a role in parenting. As an autistic person who is also known for being direct, Megan’s ability to be simultaneously blunt and gentle is something I admire.

I’m conflicted on how the baby storyline is handled. Megan’s mother gets her a training baby to test how well she can handle it. Megan’s boyfriend’s mother blatantly says that they would be the ones raising the baby, not Megan and Brendan. However, Megan remains steadfast in pursuing her dreams. She gets a job out in L.A. and convinces her mother to come with her. When Brendan makes it clear that he’s not thinking about marriage anytime soon, Megan puts a pause on the relationship and starts chatting with Steven more. While the season ends on a cliffhanger asking what their status is, the later seasons follow their relationship.

John:

John also gets minimal screen time, but his captivating storyline follows him pursuing a music career. His family is extremely supportive, but realistic as well, telling him that if his music career doesn’t take off by the time he’s 30, he needs to get a job. With the help of the group, John hosts a garage sale to pay his mother back for the album he has recorded. Finally, he gets his big break and heads to Atlanta, where producer Mali is “just as hard on him as her other clients.” Feeling inspired by his late sister’s spirit, John is so in his element in the studio. He is a sensitive family man that I found myself rooting for. Also, this is my formal petition for his family to adopt me because they seem like a delight to be around.

Sean:

Sean seems to be the person with the highest support needs in the group, and is treated as such. His storyline focuses on him moving out after receiving his HUD voucher, as well as trying to get a girlfriend. He works at Home Depot and enjoys playing Little League baseball with his best friend, Steven. Their parents arrange for Sean and Steven to move into an AirBnB together on a trial basis, along with a Supported Living Services staff member who assists them during the day. His friend, Sean C., takes him to Las Vegas for a Justin Bieber concert and a blind date with Caley. The date goes well, but then he insists on getting a tattoo, before which his credit card is conveniently declined — something arranged by production, no doubt. Eventually we see him in a relationship with Caroline, and he gifts her a promise ring in front of the whole gang.

Sean’s parents don’t seem to have a very open dialogue with Sean himself. When he goes to Las Vegas, they warn him against talking to any girls that ask him to “hang out,” when they’re really talking about sex workers. They also give Sean C. and his girlfriend a whole list of instructions like you would with a babysitter for a young child — in front of Sean. This dynamic is not exclusive to his parents, but the group as well. For an entire episode, Sean insists he will marry Meghan Trainor one day, and they shrug it off until there is an explosive confrontation between Megan and Sean. I do appreciate the look into how they are able to deescalate the situation, but one can’t help but feel that Sean is the underdog of the show.

Steven:

Steven is introduced as the womanizer of the group with a heavy amount of screen time. He loves watching movies, and it’s very apparent that he sees his value from attracting women — strictly non-disabled women. He publicly pressures a girl in his acting class into a date, and says the line: “I have no problem asking women on dates, they just don’t know how to respond.” He views non-disabled women as a prize to be won, raising major red flags with me early on. He also reminds me so much of Logan Huntzberger, which may or may not have contributed to my wariness towards him.

Though he has a close friendship with Sean, it’s not until a later conversation with another friend that we get a greater insight into why Sean was previously so set on not dating another disabled girl. He explains that in movies, non-disabled people are more explicit about sex and relationships which he relates more to, but it was all a facade. It’s tiring for him to be extra suave in an attempt to ‘make up’ for his disability. With Megan, he doesn’t have to pretend. While I enjoyed seeing their relationship blossom, she was still in a relationship, and I wish more screen time was devoted to him working through his internalized ableism and seeing his value as an individual, rather than his romantic life.

Criticisms:

I appreciate that “Born This Way” seems to respect the privacy of its stars, being far less voyeuristic than other reality shows. That being said, there are a few topics that I wish the parents in particular were more transparent about, the first being money. All the families have houses in the L.A. area, which leads me to believe they’re all quite well-off. Are the parents paying for the AirBnb? How about the group home where Elena lives? If Megan is only making $12 an hour in L.A. (in 2015) working two days a week, there’s no way she can afford a house with a backyard. We are never told how her company’s profits are distributed, either. I assume the stars are (hopefully) getting paid decent money to be on the show, but if all of them are able to be financially supported by their families, that means there’s no representation of the adults with Down Syndrome who have no choice but to rely on the broken system that Megan’s mother mentions in Episode 6. It’s fine if they are all well-off, but I would’ve liked to see more frank discussions about the money involved.

Another topic that is shied away from is sex. The cast members are all legal adults who desire intimacy like anyone else, so why are we spelling out the word? The prospect of a person with Down Syndrome having sex shouldn’t make anyone uncomfortable as long as it’s consensual, so I wish we could have allowed for those discussions to take place.

Finally, the BIPOC cast members get significantly less screen time than their white counterparts, particularly Megan and Steven. Perhaps this is remedied in later seasons, but I wanted to see more of Elena, John, and Cristina!

Takeaways:

I highly recommend this show for its excellent portrayal of the real lives of disabled people. As a reality TV aficionado, the old-school MTV vibes make “Born This Way” entertaining to watch. The music choice is upbeat, which contrasts the nature documentary-style exhibiting of autistic people in “Love on the Spectrum.” Although the term ‘special needs’ is thrown around, there is a noticeable absence of any inspiration porn. Following adults in their twenties with minimal talk about their childhoods also makes for a brilliant choice, as we get to see what support systems are and are not there for adults with Down Syndrome. We are brought up thinking that people with Down Syndrome are forever children, that we should pity them, or that they are so different from us. “Born This Way” spearheads the notion that no, they are just like us, facing struggles and milestones as anyone in their twenties does.

The inclusion of the parents adds a lot to the show, too. The audience gets to see the different ways in which independence is given without the expectation that their child will behave like a “normal” child. At the conference in Trinidad, the parents speak to other parents of children with Down Syndrome on meeting your child where they’re at and loving them no matter what. In Episode 10, while the group is baby-sitting infants at the Leapz N’ Boundz Center, the parents of both groups talk about negative reactions they received upon announcing that their child had Down Syndrome, saying “it was like someone had died,” but it “separated the angels from the assholes real quick.” They share how important it is for parents to get together, because they are the best (and sometimes only) resource.

The closing scene includes the group writing letters to expecting parents of babies with Down Syndrome, where they bring home the message that their babies will be able to do anything and be anything that they want. It’s a great ending for the season before the cut scenes episode.

“Born This Way” is the disability show we have needed for so long. While there are a few topics that I wish were covered more in depth, I cannot be too critical as they may have addressed them in later seasons. Have you watched “Born This Way?” What did you think? Type away in the comments below. I’d especially love to hear from anyone with Down Syndrome what their opinions were of the show.

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