365 Days in the Garden

Born Different

Some surprising facts about intersex children

Some time ago, I was shocked to learn that somewhere between 1 in 1500 and 1 in 2000 babies born are identified as intersex. That seemed like a lot more intersex individuals than I ever realized existed. According to the Intersex Society of North America,

If you ask experts at medical centers how often a child is born so noticeably atypical in terms of genitalia that a specialist in sex differentiation is called in, the number comes out to about 1 in 1500 to 1 in 2000 births. But a lot more people than that are born with subtler forms of sex anatomy variations, some of which won’t show up until later in life. (Note, none of my links are affiliate links.)

The first surprising fact is that there are so many intersex people.

I am focusing on numbers first because I was always under the impression that intersex was an extremely rare condition. Around the time I met the fourth person I know who is intersex, I started to wonder if this infrequency story was true. With a minimal amount of research, I discovered that it is, in fact, a fairly common situation.

Several organizations offer education and build awareness of the issues faced by intersex people and their families. The Organisation Intersex International (OII) is the umbrella organization of European human rights-based and intersex-led organizations. The OII publishes extensive information for awareness and public policy advocacy. Their parents' toolkit is available in nearly 20 languages and provides easy-to-understand information.

The toolkit tells us:

These kinds of variations are natural and more common than you might think. It is estimated that at least 1 in 200 people are intersex and some sources state that up to 1.7% of people have some variation in their sex characteristics.

In fact, according to the website above, the number of people whose bodies differ from standard male or female is an astounding one in 100 births.

The next surprising fact is that being intersex is not always identified at birth.

The OII parents' toolkit explains several ways people can be considered intersex, such as being born with a larger clitoris or smaller or differently shaped penis, looking typically female but with internal testes, or a generally male-looking child is discovered to have a uterus or ovaries. These differences may not be found until puberty when a girl does not begin menstruation or a boy does. Other differences, which may not be discovered until later in life, can be hormonal or chromosomal.

One of my friends who is intersex told me she lived her life until her 40s, identifying as a man but feeling like a woman. Then she had chromosomal testing done, and at least at first, those results made her feel like a mutant. However, because she was an adult when she got this information, she could make an informed choice about her body and now identifies as a woman.

Another fact is that these children are often subjected to surgeries that are questionable at best.

Infants born with genitalia that is somehow "different" than the norm are often subjected to surgery to "normalize" genital appearance. Those surgeries, according to the Intersex Society of North America, happen as often as one or two in 1,000 births.

The parents' toolkit provides extensive information about the possibilities of surgery and questions to ask. While there are some situations where a child does need immediate surgery, such as if their urethra is closed and they can't urinate, many other reasons why medical professionals have been known to push parents to make immediate decisions about surgeries are primarily cosmetic and can wait for parents to make informed choices about their children's health. Although doctors often tell parents that it's best to perform such interventions early for psychological reasons, there is little to no evidence this is so. Furthermore, a good deal of anecdotal evidence is coming forward that says some intersex people feel these practices harmed them.

A final fact: this is only the beginning of my exploration of this topic.

This post is my first attempt to look into the topic of intersex children. However, it won't be my last. Children are our future, yet they are often treated as the weakest link in our society. This is even more true when those children are different in ways our culture has identified as being damaged, such as intersex, LGBTQ, or autistic children.

I'm writing a book about children and how to raise them as if they are human. My premise, primarily based on my knowledge and experience, having lived most of my life in the United States, is that we tend to treat those members of society who are perceived as weak or different as if they are not people. We "other" them, and in so doing, we treat them as if they have no rights or agency.

Over the coming months, I will keep returning to these complex topics — how children who are somehow other than the "norm" are treated and why we need to evolve as a society.

I am a retired community organizer, a grandmother of two delightful children, have been gardening organically for over 50 years, and am on a mission to live a healthy, joyful life. I am writing something every day in 2023. You can get my stories in your inbox by subscribing here. Also, if you don't already have a membership subscription to Medium, please consider using my referral link when you join.