Self-Improvement — How to Boost it by Appreciating The Secrets Leading to Lasting Change

Is your personality fixed?

If you’re a worrier, will you always be a worrier? If you’re pessimistic, will you always see the glass as half empty? If you’re stressed, will you always be stressed? Can your personality change, or is it fixed?

The brain has neuroplasticity and can change. New neural pathways can form in the brain. As an adult, it’s still possible for the brain to create new neurons. There are even exercises you can do to grow your brain.

So the answer is that personality is not fixed. You can always change — your feelings can change, your behavior can change, your habits can change, and even your brain can change.

In this article, I would like to look at change in a different way — horizontal vs. vertical change.

Horizontal change requires effort and willpower.

Horizontal change is when you move along a continuum from right to left. An example of this might be that you suffer from stress, so you learn a few techniques to help you deal with it:

• Reduce your caffeine intake
• Listen to soothing music
• Take a couple of deep breaths
• Use laughter therapy
• Keep a journal
• Meditate
• Take a walk

Each one of these techniques can relieve your stress. If you do all of them, there may be a cumulative effect. These measures enable you to move from the right (high stress) to the left (low stress) along the axis of horizontal change.

While at work, you may feel your stress levels building up once again. You slip back to the right on the horizontal axis. You don’t have time to do all the stress reduction techniques at work. But you manage some deep breathing, and you’re able to calm yourself a little.

Horizontal change can be semi-permanent. You can change your habits and behaviors, sometimes for months or even years. But it can be hard work and require a lot of willpower to stay the course.

Vertical change occurs effortlessly when you have an insight.

Compare this to vertical change. Vertical change can happen at any time. But you’re more likely to recognize it when something big happens in your life — the death of a loved one, a medical diagnosis, or the loss of a job.

This vertical shift in your awareness (or consciousness) causes you to see everything with new eyes. Your level of stress or anxiety drops — not because you’re practicing any of those techniques — but because you now see the world differently. You believe that life is too short to get worked up over your job. Why would you do that? It no longer makes any sense. Your change in perspective is not related to stress at work, but it applies across the board. Life is too short to EVER get stressed.

This type of change tends to be more permanent because once you see life differently, it’s hard to “unsee” what you’ve realized. It’s possible to “forget” from time to time and move up and down the vertical axis of awareness. But the change is more likely to stick, and it won’t need any willpower on your part.

It’s much easier to recognize those life-altering events that trigger change. But we’re always experiencing smaller vertical shifts as well.

This morning, I had an insight into my husband’s tool and hardware purchases. He’s an avid DIY man who is regularly buying things. Our Amazon orders for the last 2 weeks included: raw plugs, bolts, star lock washers, sanding discs, varnish, O-rings, spray paint, planer blades, and plaster. Sometimes I wonder why he needs a box of 250 O-rings or 100 bolts when 1 or 2 would suffice. It’s just more “stuff” that we have to store in the garage.

Suddenly I saw that “tools and hardware are to him, what gadgets and electronics are to me.” He wonders why I need a USB C Hub, a charging stand for my phone and watch, or a new external hard drive.

You’re probably thinking that this is “obvious.” Or perhaps you’re asking, “What is so earth-shattering about this little insight?” Of course, I’ve always known how passionate he is about DIY. But I still let myself wonder why he needed so many tools, appliances, and hardware and why he had to buy them in bulk.

From now on I will have more understanding when deliveries arrive. I won’t roll my eyes or ask him if he really needs more bolts. I won’t have to use any willpower to stifle myself. This is because I’ve now realized that “hardware is to him, what gadgets are to me.” I understand that sometimes I don’t need all the electronics I buy, but I WANT them.

I don’t mean to imply that horizontal change is bad. I’m a huge proponent of doing whatever it takes to help you feel better, be happier, change your state of mind and perform better. Horizontal change is something that we can feel in control of. We can take steps, use techniques, read a book, work on it and use willpower to make change happen.

Still, vertical change is better because it is effortless and longer-lasting. Once we have an insight into something, the change will follow. No willpower is required.

The bad news is that it’s impossible to make those vertical shifts happen on demand!

Conclusion and takeaways

You can be an observer of what’s taking place in your mind. By this, I mean taking a meta-perspective on what’s happening with your thinking. Instead of being up in your head, caught up in your thoughts, you can step back and watch what’s going on in your mind.

I love the snowglobe analogy for your mind. Sometimes the snow fills the globe so that you can hardly see the castle and mote. At other times, the snow settles, and the scene is clear. What happens when you step back and observe your mind like a snowglobe? What’s happening? What are you thinking? What thoughts are you believing? What are you reacting to? Which thoughts are you letting pass and settle? Are you in the midst of a thought storm? Or is your mind clear?

Sometimes I have insights when I step back and observe my thinking. Sometimes I have insights when my mind is quiet or when speaking to my coach or coaching others. And sometimes, I even have insights in the middle of a crisis or a thought storm. Insights can happen anytime and anywhere.

One thing is certain. You are constantly changing — moving along the horizontal and vertical axes. Change is not only possible; it is guaranteed.