Boomers Have a Message For You Before We Kick the Bucket

We’re not coming to visit and eat your food

I read an essay today by the same guy who always writes derogatory stories about Boomers. I scanned it fast, so I wouldn’t credit him the read time. You know what I mean.

According to the author, Baby Boomers now want to do a “going away” tour.

I guess it’s supposed to be like the Grand European Tour.

Supposedly, Boomers want to visit and take advantage of younger relatives before they die — chatting about their physical ailments, talking too much, being annoying AF old relatives.

Okay.

I’ve got news for you, forty-something writer making money from inflammatory essays.

Don’t bother barricading your doors against geriatric gremlins. We’re pretty happy in our own homes. And believe me, most of us think you’re an asshole. It’s not just your writing. It’s your hypocrisy.

As it turns out, your boomer relatives probably want nothing to do with you, or they won’t when they stumble across your stories. We know — you’re just trying to make a buck in this world, but must you do it at our expense?

Speaking of expenses, many of your cohort members are living with their Boomer family members. Yes, with us, the old jerks who dare to breathe your hallowed air.

Speaking as a young Boomer (1959), When I was in my 50s, all the family 20-somethings were in and out of the house for quite some time. Not my offspring. Other family members. And that’s fine. When I got tired of sharing space, food, electricity and internet, I moved them on.

In one case, I helped with first, last, and deposit. Life’s hard. I get it. And how do I know life is hard?

When I was young, I walked five miles uphill both ways through snowbanks to get to and from school, remember?

Without a puffer jacket. Without a water bottle. Without Gore-Tex.

Without a smart watch on my skinny little wrist.

Note — I am happy to share my resources. Marriages break up, and it’s hard to survive financially in 2023.

Many parents and grandparents have been generous. We’re not looking for thanks, but neither do we enjoy it when the recipients of our graciousness sneer and mutter “boomer.”

While I’m on my honesty soapbox, we’re not all wearing red, white, and blue sequined hats and holding Trump parties and buying gewgaws on eBay.

Just thought you should know.

As you complain and gripe about the very people who worked hard for women’s rights back in the ’60s and ’70s, we sit quietly and observe that you do the bulk of your work from home. How nice.

Many of us worked hard to make sure you wouldn’t be discriminated against if you didn’t have the advantage of a penis. You’re welcome.

As you complain about our sucking of the Social Security teat, might I mention many of us are still working? And many of us have taken in grandchildren and are raising second families? Sadly, some parents have drug issues and we had to take the grandchildren in.

With no offense intended, you should know the phrase, “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.”

Enough is enough. You need to choose a different topic.

A good new topic would be ‘love’! Take a look at this writing competition!

Come have a look at our publications at Parasol, including The Narrative Arc, a site full of stories — creative nonfiction, memoir, and short fiction.

Medium’s most popular listicle site In For a Penny, is a fun place to submit, go for a quick read, or just check in. You never know what you’ll see!

Also, check out our site for those with something to say about loss or grief, The Wind Phone.