Reading
I Am, Therefore I Read
Reflections of a reading life
In Marrisa W.’s latest prompt she asks why we read. I have been pondering this question over the weekend and it is a tough one. How do you put into words why you read? When you have been reading for as long as you remember asking why you read is like asking why you breathe. It is an essential part of life.
I can remember spending time as a kid at the public library. I remember starting out with books like The Boxcar Children and The Bobbsey Twins. I made my way downstairs to the adult section very early. So early I can recall the librarians trying to convince me to go back upstairs to the children's section for books because they were concerned about my selections. Reading and libraries were part of my life early. But that doesn’t answer the question “Why do I read?”
We didn’t have a lot when I was a kid. I grew up in a working-class family in small-town Kentucky. I was a weird, shy, quiet little kid in a family of loud, outgoing people. I didn’t fit. I took refuge in books and television. I love television almost as much as I love books. TV is easy. You don’t need an imagination. You don’t need to do any work besides turning it on and changing the channel. TV is a good refuge when you just need to stop thinking. Books are so much more.
Books require attention and imagination. Books will transport you to another world if you let them. Books allow you to get into the mind of the characters. Books allow you to picture the people and the settings in your way. Books can take you out of yourself and propel you into the story. When I needed a refuge as a kid, books filled that need in a way that other things could not. When engrossed in a story I could tune out the noise around me. I could forget about being different. I could forget about having less than others.
I have been made more aware of how important reading is to me over the past couple of years. A combination of the pandemic and a toxic work environment was not great for my mental health. I was struggling to survive. I needed the escape I usually get from books but I couldn’t focus on reading for more than a couple of minutes. I drifted away from reading and started watching more TV or mindlessly scrolling through social media. Without my refuge from books, I had nothing to make me forget about my troubles. It was a terrible time and my mental health issues deepened.
I finally found a book during that time that grabbed me in a way that made me want to keep reading. It was The City We Became by NK Jemisin. I was completely enthralled by the story of people who became the living embodiment of one of New York’s five boroughs. I got off of my couch and spent that time on my deck reading their story. I stopped focusing on my troubles and started focusing on the battle for New York. For a brief period, I was myself again. I still struggle with focus while reading, but I am getting closer to normal.
Why do I read? Reading is an essential part of me. Without reading, I am incomplete.
Speaking of reading, a shoutout to Sam Finlayson and their article on the opening lines of their favorite books.
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