Reunited and it Feels So Good: How My Love For Retro Tunes Reunited Some of My Family

We had so much fun at our disco party!

A couple of years back, in the hazy euphoria induced by an edible, I experienced a surreal moment: A mysterious voice urging me to indulge in listening to disco music and to keep listening to it. Following that cryptic yet compelling guidance, I surrendered to the suggestion, diving headfirst into tunes that were made before I was born this lifetime.

Even if a bird had just chosen my head for target practice, or I stubbed my toe on the corner of my bed, or even if I just finished watching the scene in Lion King where Mufasa dies in the wildebeest stampede and Simba discovers his lifeless body, I could be so mad or sad but if you play ABBA “Dancing Queen” I am INSTANTLY so happy.

The power of music to change your mood. Never underestimate it.

Following a slumber party with my friends where they showed little interest in my beloved retro music, a tinge of sadness settled within me. While vibing solo to nostalgic tunes and dancing in solitude can be enjoyable, there’s a unique magic in sharing that space with others who embrace the joy of retro vibes as passionately as I do.

Eureka! An idea sparked within me — I could organize a disco-themed party for my family, complete with funky attire. With newfound enthusiasm, I shared my brainchild with my mama and one of my brothers, who eagerly embraced the concept.

With the green light, I joined forces with my sister-in-law to kickstart the planning process. Our first move was to generate excitement by sending out digital invitations via text, setting the stage. We started in December, 2023.

It originally started with only my mama, my kids, my niece, my siblings, and their significant others.

My family beyond that is VERY fractured and estranged. I have great aunts who won’t even accept my friend requests on Facebook and cousins who I’ve felt like they never liked me or understood me at all.

You can call me the ‘Black Sheep’ in my bloodline.

There was a time that hurt me deeply, but now not at all. I’ve made peace with things for the most part and focus on those who accept me and love me as I AM.

Yet, among this familial disconnect, my late grandmother began to visit me in dreams. In these ethereal encounters, she appeared alive. She was smiling and cooking in the kitchen alongside one of my aunts and my two first cousins. I hadn’t seen my aunt, my mother’s sister, in person since 2020, nor had I laid eyes on my first cousins, her daughters, since 2018.

The message from beyond was clear: extend an invitation to my aunt and cousins.

Got it grandma, got it.

At the time, my mother and her sister were not on speaking terms again.

Being invited to the party the communication resumed. My mama and her sister began chatting daily again. I could hear laughter and giggles coming from my mama as she spoke to her older sister on the phone discussing how much fun they were going to have at the party and reminiscing on songs from their youth during the 70s and 80s.

| Pause, quick crying break be right back

The invitation was extended as well to my uncle and other aunt and a few more people.

Some responded and did come to the party and some gave me crickets despite me reaching out a few times.

I’ll be honest the party planning process presented its challenges for both my sister-in-law and me, as our forgetful tendencies and organizational skills weren’t exactly our forte. However, by joining forces and pooling our strengths, we proved to be a formidable team. Despite the hurdles, we successfully pulled off the event and learned valuable lessons along the way.

We’re going to start planning for the 2025 Spring dance in the Fall of this year. LOL.

While the main theme was disco we had all sorts of music from the 70s and 80s ( thank you to those on Medium who shared some suggestions with me), and people came dressed from both eras.

The party was a great time and went above what anyone expected it to be.

My sons shocked everyone by busting out the dance moves first. My oldest song had everyone hyping him as he did an Irish hip-hop jig. It was pretty cool to watch. I did tear up at the thought of the space feeling and being so safe that it was ok for everyone to be themselves.

My nonverbal prince even danced and smiled as everyone hyped him up! He didn’t become overstimulated during the party and was in great spirits.

So we played games, danced, laughed, talked, played, stuffed our faces with food, and forgave.

By the end of the party, we were in tears discussing how we needed to come together more.

I said a few words about life being too short for petty grievances and grudges and how we need to spend the next few decades loving and coming together as often as we can.

Everyone agreed.

Now it’s time to start planning our first family camping trip this summer. I need a good campfire dinner, breakfast, and playing homemade instruments around the fire under the moon.

In the meantime enjoy a few more shots from our dance. If you were on my email list, you got first dibs about the disco party and more candid shots.

Xoxo, Fanchon Octavia