Blog Like Nobody’s Watching

How to survive a massive drop of readers here at Medium.

First, thanks for giving me the idea for this article, Dr. Funny, Michael Burg, MD (Satire Sommelier). Love your article about dancing like nobody is watching et cetera. Genius.

The other inspiration for this article is not so cheery. It’s this:

I Have Lost 40,000 Views Per Month Since the CEO of Medium Quit

And I’m absolutely heartbroken about it.

Forty thousand freakin’ views per month? You don’t believe me? Look at yesterday for me. I’m down to 14,000 views per month.

My average, pre-Ev quitting: 60,000 views per month. A good month? 90,000! This is from the month Ev quit, July 2022.

You can see the downward trend in general on the Haven publication stats — so maybe it’s not just me. But maybe it is, I don’t know.

See how in the last 90 days it’s been going down, down, down.

I’ve noticed as an editor that there are fewer people wanting to sign up as a writer for the Haven. There are fewer stories being submitted by the Haven writers. There are just fewer eyeballs and fingertips here in the Medium world, it’s clear.

What happened?

It’s the algo, Stupid!

Whatever the algorithm used to do — for the past two and a half years — to get me more than 50,000 views per month, it stopped doing, obviously.

Or did Medium just lose 40,000 comedy lovin’ readers?

There are still plenty of sex-lovin’ readers.

My alter ego, the sex writer called Christine's Adventures is doing better than ever. Check her out some time, if you like Monty Python combined with porn!

That’s why I’m not gonna cry. I am fortunate enough to have some money socked away. But I am living abroad and I do not have the right to get a job in Europe. I’m kinda scared.

But what can you do?

Well, that’s where Dr. Funny comes in. When I read his article about dancing like nobody’s watching, I realized I’ve been blogging like nobody’s watching. And I just need to keep doing that.

I never blogged like 60,000 people were watching my every keystroke.

I think I blog for myself primarily. I am trying to amuse myself.

I am first!

I am going to keep blogging like nobody is watching, because it amuses me and it keeps me busy. End of story. As long as there is a Medium, there will be a Christine Stevens blogging away like nobody is watching. Writing all kinds of crazy shit, like revealing the scoop of the century — the ENTIRE SEASON TWO of Squid Games!

My loyal readers are second!

You know who you are. You keep me typing, friends. Because I can always count on you reading and responding to my nonsense. Thank you dear loyal readers, I love you so much.

The rest of the Medium users are third.

Of course they still matter to me. But I am not focusing on their sudden absence.

I’ve always looked at Medium as a sanctuary for my mental health. So the last thing I want to do is turn the sanctuary into some kind of hell hole.

So what if my views are down. Easy come, easy go.

How to blog like nobody is watching?

I think the key thing is to hear the silent music as you type. I mean the music of this magical place, Medium, which you can’t even hear, or see. You can just EXPERIENCE it. Here is a playground for you to write whatever you like. No New York editor trying to make you bankable or cool or hip or appealing or any of that crap.

Medium is on the other coast, baby.

And that’s where it belongs. Out there in California you are free to be you and me.

Here on Medium, you can blog what you like.

Here at The Haven, we will publish you so long as you TRY to be funny. You don’t even have to succeed.

That’s what our great founder Page Barnes told me when she signed me up as an editor, and I’ve kept that dictum, as has my partner in crime, Terry Trueman.

Of course, you can also blog like people ARE watching.

If you want to improve your output, by all means go to The Haven Writing School for some great articles on how to do better here on Medium.

I even have articles about how to go viral and how to get more viewers.

Ha. I will be more humble about that, trust me. I confess: I do not know how to get more views here any more.

I, like Socrates, admit that I know nothing.

And that, my friends, is the beginning of wisdom.

And you know what I’ve been doing these last fifteen minutes? I’ve been blogging like nobody is watching. I wanted to write exactly this article. Just as a person who is dancing like nobody is watching dances exactly the way they dance, and no other way.

I gotta be me!

That means more sex. More absurdity. More attacks on Prince Harry and Elon Musk and Putin. More clickbait crazy stories. More rants. More raves. And YES, more articles in support of my beloved Ukrainians.

More me! Yay me! Yay you! Yay bloggers everywhere. I beg you, don’t be put off by the stats. Continue blogging like nobody is watching.

And if you blog it, they will come.

Eventually!

They have to!

You gotta believe!

Look at the weather report!

There will be sunny days ahead, according to this brilliant source, Weather.com.

There will be more cloudy days.

But at least there will be days!

Yay, days!

Bring on the future! I’m ready. I hope you are too. It’s gonna be lit!

Oh, I almost forgot! Join my substack — it’s free. And if Medium folds that’s where you’ll find me.