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Blind Dating?

By Magni with DALL-E-3

According to the rich tapestry of Chinese tradition, the institution of marriage holds excellent significance in perpetuating the familial lineage. However, in the bustling cities of Beijing and Shanghai, the practice of arranged marriages, orchestrated by well-meaning parents, relatives, or friends, has fallen out of favour and is deemed a relic of the past. Instead, liberal marriage, commonly known as “love marriage,” has gained traction, as it empowers individuals to freely choose their life partners without the intervention of meddlesome intermediaries. Nonetheless, studies have revealed an intriguing twist: arranged marriages tend to endure longer than their “love marriage” counterparts, where the two lovebirds take charge of their destiny.

In contemporary Chinese society, the younger generation approaches marriage pragmatically. Once they reach a certain age, tying the knot becomes a matter of necessity, plain and simple. Even if they have not stumbled upon the elusive soulmate, they are willing to settle for someone compatible, someone with whom they can make a match. The pressure to wed promptly tends to weigh heavier on young women’s shoulders. For many Chinese parents, witnessing their offspring exchanging vows equates to witnessing their offspring’s ultimate happiness. The notion of remaining unwed is simply inconceivable.

Parents are often consumed by the fear of their offspring failing to secure a suitable marital match within the designated timeframe, caring little about their children’s desires. Nevertheless, nowadays, young men and women generally have the final say in choosing their life partners. However, they still seek the advice and approval of their parents and trusted intermediaries. Some argue that romantic love, though cherished, does not reign as the paramount ingredient for a successful union. Instead, factors such as stable employment, a commendable income, and a roof over one’s head hold more significant sway in determining one’s suitability as a marriage candidate.

The modern arranged marriage system in China resembles the Western concept of blind dating. When an individual reaches the age deemed appropriate for wedlock, their parents (or relatives and friends) compile a comprehensive dossier showcasing their attributes, replete with a photograph and detailed accounts of their family background, education, hobbies, accomplishments, and interests. These resourceful matchmakers tap into their social circles, seeking potential suitors who align with the criteria. If a potential match is identified, information packets are exchanged, and a meeting is orchestrated under the watchful eye of the go-between. If all goes well, the couple starts the dating journey, with the possibility of matrimony shimmering on the horizon, although not as an inescapable destiny. It is common for individuals to undergo a dozen or more such introductions before finally discovering their perfect counterparts, ready to exchange vows for a lifetime of love and companionship.

Marriage
Dating
Women
Feminism
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