Satirical Avian Conspiracy
Birds Aren’t Real
A Hoax I Can Get Behind
Alright everyone. I’ve been holding this in way too long and I need to get it off my chest.
Can you hear the birds chirping around you now?
They aren’t real.
B.I.R.D.
Biological Information Recording Device
Yeah, I know, what a paradigm shift right? The birds you hear are nothing short of a simulated automation designed by the NSA and CIA to surveil honest, hardworking, American citizens.
These “birds” are only a pawn in a larger operation to strip decent people of their values, dignity, and overall livelihood. These surveillance devices can be seen charging on the power lines in your neighborhood or circling the parks where our children play. The drones poop tracking probes on your car and your lawn.
Do you know anyone who considers themselves a birder?
Bird sanctuaries are government compounds built as centers for mass espionage. One who identifies many species and subspecies of these avian spies cannot be trusted. Elderly agents even patrol bird hotspots, like your local pond, where they serve as undercover maintenance workers.
This is a convoluted plot with many paid actors, false history, and as always, fake news. All birds in the United States were exterminated by the federal government between 1959 and 1971.
The media shoves it down our throats and laughs at us while they drop hints of the machination into pop culture.
I noticed it first when watching The Office. Dwight Shrute’s mallard embedded with a microphone is only the tip of the iceberg. Do you remember the security bird from the Pixar film, The Incredibles? How about the Adultswim cartoon, Robot Chicken?
Why do you think Sesame Street’s Big Bird costume was stolen?
The paper trail runs deep and the only way we can fight the systematic heresy at play is to educate ourselves on the truth and nothing but the truth so help us God. There are evil powers that be and only you can stop them. Reject the bird agenda!
OKAY I’M DONE
IN ALL SERIOUSNESS
What is the Birds Aren’t Real Movement?
It’s a satirical conspiracy theory which postulates that birds are actually drones operated by the United States government to spy on American citizens.
At the 2017 Women’s March in Memphis, Peter McIndoe watched pro-Trump protest the march. In response, he wrote "Birds Aren't Real" on a poster and improvised the fake conspiracy theory amid the protests as an impromptu joke.
McIndoe is among the first to troll on doom-mongering conspiracy theorists. A video of his act at the march went viral on Instagram, which served as the catalyst to the movement.
Later in the year, a Facebook post revealed that McIndoe “made a satirical movement…and people on Instagram seem to like it…” The post was rejected by the movement and credited to an ex-employee of Bird’s Aren’t Real. This was most likely done to preserve the illusion that it was a legitimate conspiracy theory, although McIndoe did admit that it was a parody in 2021.
The movement claims that U.S. president John F. Kennedy was assassinated by the government due to his reluctance to kill all the birds. Weaving this conspiracy into an existing one was a smart move by McIndoe.
In 2022, McIndoe was interviewed by Vice and 60 Minutes. He explains his perspective of the movement:
"So it's taking this concept of misinformation and almost building a little safe space to come together within it and laugh at it, rather than be scared by it. And accept the lunacy of it all and be a bird truther for a moment in time when everything's so crazy."
Conspiracy, Misinformation, and Media Literacy
McIndoe’s statement speaks to a very important truth of present day: misinformation is inescapable. This movement feels like a safe space to embrace or even fight against the absurdity found in the age of information. I am a bird truther indeed.
While I find these theories can be an interesting thought experiment or conversation starter, they can they can result in real world hate and violence. This is ultimately the reason why the leader had to admit it was satire. Not that this theory directly caused violence, but it definitely feeds the fires of dangerous radical speculation.
It's important to understand the difference between real, questionable, and unequivocally false conspiracy theories. Abbie Richards, a misinformation educator, created a helpful chart to give a visual on what public information reflects regarding conspiracy theories. It goes a step further to illustrate which theories are dangerous to the public.
From MKUltra to Epstein and Bigfoot to Chemtrails, the reptilian overlords won’t loosen their grip on the the New World Order. I like this chart because it clears smoke and smashes mirrors. Sure it’s just a color-coded food pyramid flipped upside down, but it helps encompass and categorize theories many are familiar with.
It dips into demystifying the lore around the battle between the the Deep State and QAnon. There are many other creators working towards the same end. The creators of Your Wrong About and Maintenance Phase do a great job of doing this in their Human Trafficking and Wellness to QAnon Pipeline episodes.
There are also other resources for media literacy linked below:
To conclude, Big brother is most definitely watching, but I’m not convinced we’ve made it to 1984 just yet. Stay vigilant against the deep dark abyss that is information. If you do fall into the rabbit hole, tell Alice I say “hi.”
