SATIRE
Bill Clinton’s Top 5 Favorite Ways to Avoid Stains
Bill Clinton shares his favorite methods for avoiding and removing pesky stains
We all know how tough it can be when encountering stains in everyday life. It’s even worse when you’re at work and end up in a tight spot.
Stains often come out of nowhere — believe me, I know.
That’s why I’m here to help!
Bill Clinton’s Top 5 Favorite Ways to Avoid Stains
1. Always bring a spare
Stains will happen, it’s inevitable. One of the best ways to fight these unexpected consequences of a stain at work is to keep a spare shirt, pants, or blue dress in your desk! Believe me, it will come in handy.
2. Use a no-wash stain remover
There are many products available in the greater white house area. After years of reflection, I’ve come to enjoy one simple brand: Spray n’ Pray. Not only does it come in a handy small package, but it can be used at a moment’s notice!
3. Use a laundry stain remover while washing
If you are lucky enough to have access to a washing machine (and the time to use it), then I fully recommend using a stain remover meant for this. My absolute go-to product for this is Resolve Max. This product gets to the bottom of things with quick action and unforeseen results. Just dab it on the surface, address congress, and confidently state the stain never existed!
4. Use dryer sheets
I can’t mention this point enough. If you have the luxury of enough time to wash your stained clothes like in point 3, the next best thing to do is use a dryer sheet after. My favorite product in this area is Bouncey. Just open the dryer door, pretend like you give a sheet, and wait for the results!
5. Burn it
If you haven’t followed the first 4 steps, don’t fret — you can simply burn the eviden…clothing. When all else fails, this method will have your back! Simply find your nearest 228-year-old presidential fireplace and get to work. Credit goes to Franklin Roosevelt for inventing this method during his famous fireside chats.
Follow these 5 easy tips and you’ll be able to confidently state, “I did not have impeccable frustrations with that woolen” in no time!
