Big New Year’s Resolutions are a Waste of Time if You Want to Make a Real Change
Why you should look back instead of forwards this New Year's Eve
New year’s resolutions are a waste of time because they are a dream destination without a roadmap.
Only around 8% of the population successfully keeps their new year's resolution.
I get it.
The energy and momentum of big splashy new year’s resolutions are intoxicating.
What was the last new year's resolution you kept? If you find yourself among crickets, you're not alone.
You are standing in a universal field of crickets with billions of people who don't keep their new year's resolutions.
Deeply ingrained psychological patterns don't disappear when the clock strikes midnight because you have high hopes for the new year.
I know it sounds rough, but lasting change is a bit grittier than the glitz and glam of a bangin' new year's party.
Face it, long-term goals & plans aren't sexy or exciting, and nobody wants to do the work because it takes time and lots of it.
Pushback is a part of change and you are going to struggle
No, I don't want to tear you down. But I want to suggest another approach to making lasting changes in your life.
Change requires you to take a close look at your default patterns.
Why haven't you changed before now?
What hasn't worked in the past, and what makes this time different?
These questions demand brutal honesty.
If you want it bad enough…
Some say if you want it bad enough, you will do it, whatever it may be. Perhaps you feel the same.
If only life were as simple as wanting something "bad enough" — but it's not enough.
Don't be pulled in by the old lose 30 pounds in 30 days new year's resolution or the I'm going to build an online empire from scratch by this time next year.
People often mistake desire for drive. Don't be one of those people.
All the desire in the universe is useless if you aren't driven to act consistently.
The good news
The good news is the likelihood of achieving your new year's resolution skyrockets if you find enjoyment in the process.
Enjoyment is key to meeting your goal because it maintains focus on the present rather than a dream in the distant future.
If it feels good daily, you’re more likely to stick with it.
If you have to wait for an undetermined number of months or years, well, motivation wanes.
What now?
How amazing would it feel to set a goal you are 100% certain you could make happen?
Then start looking back instead of forwards and set the smallest new year's resolution you can imagine.
Here's a secret.
If you can do one thing for 5–10 minutes every day, you will be a different person.
This time next year, you will be a person who changed their life — something 92% of the population doesn't do.
If you think doing something for 5–10minutes once a day is easy or ineffectual, think again.
It’s a myth that it doesn’t add up to anything…it just takes time.
Why not an hour a day?
The beauty of five or ten minutes daily is it's small enough not to get stressed out about.
You can hardly justify not showing up for yourself.
What you're doing is disrupting patterns you've created over a lifetime.
This is your training ground for the next thing you want to achieve.
As uncomfortable as it feels, you had big goals this time last year, and looking back at what didn't work allows you to measure your growth strategy and tweak it.
Here are some critical questions to ask yourself:
- Why do you want to make the change?
- Is your goal measurable?
- What is your daily plan?
- Who can support you on your journey?
- How will you recognize your small wins?
- Why do you believe you're worthy of achieving this goal?
Your desired outcome vs. your path
The problem with new years resolutions is they skip to the outcome while de-emphasizing how to get there.
They highlight your desire, not your path.
But desire fades as the new year's momentum wears off and real-life sets in again.
There are no shortcuts.
So, what do you want?
A picture-perfect dream or a plan to get there?
Instant gratification has no business here
When times get tough, your desire will crush under the weight of daily responsibilities, but a plan keeps inching you forward.
You are in control of your choices, so don't fall for the I need 15 more minutes of sleep since I only got four hours excuse. Because that's what you're up against.
Real change is an icky business and takes time.
Change takes patience and understanding your default patterns, as well as a realistic approach.
Parting thoughts
So, what's the difference between people who keep their new year's resolutions and those who don't?
Joy.
They find a way to enjoy the process.
There's no way to trick yourself into doing something you don't want to do.
Becoming the person you want to be is a profound undertaking.
My wish is that you come to know the limitless nature of your power to transform your life in just five to ten minutes a day.
Seek not for the outcome but to know all the ways you self-sabotage against it.
Thank you for reading!
If you gained value from my scribblings, consider joining the Medium membership through my personalized link, which grants you access to all articles while directly supporting myself and other writers on Medium 😁
Feel free to subscribe and receive an email whenever I hit publish. Thanks again! 🙏
I need coffee strong enough to wake up my ancestors! You can buy me one here if you enjoy my scribblings! Many thanks, ❤ xoxo
Check out this article by Joseph Lieungh, his writing is a portal to another world 🌎
