Writing

Beware Writing is Fattening!

20 lbs later …

Writing is fattening! If you don’t believe me, talk to my scale.

In 2010 I closed the door to my 16-year-old antique business. It served as my identity and died the same year I lost my brother, dad, and mother-in-law. I still refer to 2010 as the year of loss. The name of the business is pointless as we were widely known as “the antique store with the cool yellow lab that greets you at the door in a tie.” That was Gabe, another story for another time.

The decision to close our shop came in the form of an answered prayer. No, it was not the answer we wanted. My husband Sandy, and I, both weary from grief, felt like we could no longer ride the inevitable financial roller coaster that comes with nearly every small independent business. We had asked God to give us a sign and promised to be at peace with the outcome. Shortly after the plea, we were hit with a financial blow that would require a bank loan to survive. While considering the loan option along with some other crazy ideas, we remembered our prayer and realized this was our answer.

I want to say we were instantly at peace, but that’s not the truth. Instead, we scrambled, contemplating new locations, products, and fix-it schemes. To our amazement, not one realtor answered our calls. Talk about God looking out for us! He kept us safe from ourselves until we woke up to the blessing.

What was the blessing?

Once the online business was up and going, I found something no less strange than little green men — flextime. It was awkward at first. Should I help my adult children live better lives (joking)? Or maybe I could micromanage hubby's projects. One day after prayer I started writing a book. Yes, just like that. No outline, or even an idea of where it might go. I just knew I had to write every morning, sometimes an hour or two, other times 10 minutes. It took one year to write the 336-page book and nearly that long to re-write line by line after realizing I was a better writer at the end than the beginning. Here’s some inside information:

Technically, I co-wrote the book with hubby. The book is a dual perspective memoir with alternating chapters (I’m odd chapters, he’s even). The straight truth is, I was the ghostwriter for his chapters. Learning to use another’s voice was an intense writing exercise that I highly recommend if you want a challenge or are a glutton for punishment. By the end of the process, I was better at his voice than my own. He certainly owned his co-author status undergoing brutal interrogation sessions after which he would tweak misleading words.

Getting back on topic:

When I typed “The End,” I’d grown as a writer, literally, 20 pounds worth.

You may not know this: Antique dealers work their lives off moving huge heavy cabinets, scrubbing, staining, sanding, chasing after the next treasure through barns, attics, or if invited, haunted dungeons. Contrarily, writers sit, think and write. At least that’s how it works for me. Worse yet, no discouragement intended, after a book is written, you’re on your bottom again, writing queries, proposals, and such while outright begging agents and publishers to toss you a bone. All this to explain a basic consequence: Switching from active to passive murders your metabolism and packs on the weight. Obvious? Yes, but when you’re in the writing zone distractions like moving about are annoying.

Finally, the solution

Do I have another book in me? Honestly, I don’t know. I stopped writing for no good reason during the height of the pandemic. It’s been difficult finding motivation. I understand I am not alone in this dilemma. After much prayer and soul searching, I’m writing again. Since my other online business earns the majority of my wages (ETSY sales 95% vs writing 5%) it remains top priority. That’s two jobs requiring a lot of sitting. Here’s the simple math: One body times two sitting jobs equals +++++ pounds and a need for a wide load chair.

I may not have another book in me, but I am writing again. This time, countering the potential weight gain by balancing sits with steps. To make sure I am never idle for long periods, I break up writing stints with 10- to 20-minute walks with a daily 10,000-step goal. The temptation to keep writing is often there but I’ve found it helps the creative process to get moving. I keep the walks short so the time loss doesn’t hurt as much. Lately, my biggest obstacle is a talkative woman who somehow knows when I’ll be walking by.

Honestly, I’m a friendly neighbor but today trying to be polite without tossing away my writing time, I learned:

Her landlord lives in West Valley in a house worth millions.

The names, occupations, and characters of the other tenants/homeowners on the block.

The medications, including the dosage that her doctor prescribed for high blood pressure and a sinus infection.

A short (thank you) resume of her former employment.

She calls her ex-husband/best friend daily.

Her dog, Porter, is very old. That’s why she got custody.

Woven into the conversation were two confessions both of which she prefaced with “I shouldn’t tell you this but — “

Confession One: After midnight she steals the neighbors' lavender plants because they obviously don’t care.

Confession Two: Last night she had one, “well actually two,” ciders.

I’m not certain if she’s seeking absolution so I remained still. It’s a blessing that she talks fast because all this, plus more that I’ve forgotten, took place in less than 4 minutes. And she still had time to describe her home decor — Asian and Southwest with a rug from Wayfair that I would love. I can only guess that it’s a rug quiet people would like because I have barely uttered a word to this woman. My job is solely to listen while tugging on my dog Cooper’s leash so he stops sniffing Porter’s old butt.

Conclusion:

Unless you’ve mastered the art of standing while writing, like Ernest Hemmingway, I recommend scheduling walking breaks. You might be lucky like me, and meet a real character that provides ample color for a future story.

Bonus suggestion: Wear headphones.

Shameless Plug

If you’re curious you can find our book, “In Spite of Us — A Love Story about Second Chances,” by Deb and Sandy Palmer on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/Spite-Us-Story-Second-Chances/dp/1644164361

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