avatarHelena Toto

Summary

The text is a poignant reflection on the complex and challenging relationship between the author and their mother, who exhibits traits of self-hatred and borderline personality disorder, impacting the author's own identity and emotional well-being.

Abstract

The article titled "Between Mother and Me" delves into the intricate dynamics of a mother-child relationship where the mother, despite never apologizing or admitting her wrongs, harbors deep-seated self-hatred. The author describes the unpredictable nature of living with a parent who has borderline personality disorder, which results in daily emotional turmoil for her children. The author expresses a conflicted sense of love and entanglement with their mother, acknowledging the difficulty of establishing their own identity amidst the chaos. The piece conveys the struggle of coexisting with a mother's volatile emotions and the challenge of maintaining one's own sense of self in such an environment.

Opinions

  • The author feels that their mother, who never apologizes, may actually dislike herself.
  • There is a sense of unpredictability and emotional pain in the relationship due to the mother's borderline personality traits.
  • The author's love for their mother is complicated by the emotional toll of their interactions.
  • The author recognizes a shared cynicism and nihilism with their mother, suggesting a deep, albeit troubled, understanding.
  • The author experiences difficulty in separating their own life from their mother's influence, feeling caught between their mother's identity and their own.
  • The author implies that they are easily deceived by their mother, indicating a pattern of emotional manipulation.

Between Mother and Me

Photo by Jackson Simmer on Unsplash

She never apologizes Never admits she is wrong Yet she hates herself, I think

Borderline Surprise Awaits her children Everyday triggering The pain inside

I love her, I guess But I’m tangled so closely In her branches It’s hard to fly

So hard live my own life In this still place Of torment and fright Between who she is and Who I am

What am I without my mother?

Easy to fool is what I am Holding her hand, loving her When she spits on me in return

And yet, somehow, I think I know her I think I recognize the cynicism and nihilism Lurking inside

I live it every day In these branches Bordering on real and imaginary In my own borderland

Invisible Illness
Borderline Personality
Fear
Family
Poetry
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