Ben Franklin’s Kite
Was He Trying to Charge His iPhone?
The man, the myth, the legend. Between inventing bifocals, drawing up the first fire insurance policy, and being a founding father of the United States, Benny-boy allegedly had time to fly a kite in a thunderstorm. But why? Was it a bizarre rite of passage? A rebellious teenage phase? Or, the most plausible theory, Was he trying to charge his iPhone?
The Man Behind the Myth
Let’s wind back the clock. The year was 1752. The hottest jam on the harpsichord was probably something by Bach, and folks were wearing wigs like today’s hipsters wear beanies. Enter stage right: Mr. Franklin, avid experimenter, and notorious troublemaker.
Some of you might say, “Wait, iPhones weren’t around in 1752!” But to you, I say, time travel, my friend. Could you stick with me here?
Connecting the Dots (and Wires)
Our boy Benny had a theory. He believed that lightning was just a massive discharge of electricity. Noble idea, but he needed a way to prove it. Hence, the birth of the notorious kite experiment.
Most know the story: Franklin flew a kite with a key attached during a thunderstorm, drawing electricity from the sky. But what if that key wasn’t the end goal? What if he was trying to find a way to get that 20% low battery warning to disappear on his not-so-ancient iPhone?
The Challenges of Pre-Colonial Charging
I understand you might have a few “logical” issues with this thesis. Here are a few anticipated challenges:
- “The iPhone didn’t exist back then!” — We’re talking about a man who invented the lightning rod, the glass armonica, and swim fins. Do you think an iPhone is beyond his capability?
- “How would Ben even know about apps or mobile operating systems?” — Simple. Have you ever heard of the Library Company of Philadelphia, which he co-founded? Just think of it as the 18th-century App Store.
- “Time travel is just impossible.” — My cat’s name is Schrödinger. Any questions?
Franklin’s Secret Society of Tech Support
Ben is sitting around a wooden table with his gang of colonial innovators (let’s call them the “OG Geeks”). They are having heated debates about the best way to prevent screens from shattering and what the snake game of the 18th century would look like.
While this isn’t “historically accurate” per se, isn’t it more fun than imagining them just discussing politics or taxes? I think so.
Don’t Let Your Battery Drain in the Rain
But back to the kite. Imagine, just for a second, that mid-kite flight. Franklin pulls out an iPhone (with a beautifully crafted wooden case, naturally). He hooks it up to the key and, voila! His phone lights up, proudly displaying a charging symbol.
The heavens rumble, not from thunder, but from the collective chuckling of clouds. Lightning strikes, but our dear Benny isn’t shocked. Because his phone, against all colonial odds, reads “100% charged.”
So, was Benjamin Franklin trying to charge an iPhone with his kite? In historical terms, the answer is most certainly a “no.” But in the realm of whimsical, hilarious reimaginations, it’s an absolute “why not?”
The next time you grumble about not having a charger, remember our dear friend Ben. He didn’t have a USB port, a power bank, or even an Apple Store. But he had a kite, a key, and perhaps, an insatiable need to keep his device charged for another round of Candy Crush — 1752 Edition.
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