Beloved, Broken

Summary

The website content reflects on a personal poem written by the author to their spouse during their marriage, which has since been impacted by the author's gender transition.

Abstract

The poem titled "Beloved, Broken" is a heartfelt expression of love and appreciation the author has for their spouse. It details the profound impact their partner has had on their life, acknowledging the love, support, and spiritual connection they share. However, the poem's significance is juxtaposed with the reality of the author's transition, as the physical copy of the poem, once cherished, now lies broken on the floor, symbolizing the challenges and potential costs associated with the author's journey to self-realization. The author reflects on the purity of their past sentiments and the changes that have occurred, acknowledging the emotional toll and the complexities of maintaining their relationship in the face of transition.

Opinions

The author expresses deep affection and gratitude towards their spouse, emphasizing their unique and irreplaceable role in their life.
There is a sense of nostalgia and loss as the author rediscovers the poem and reflects on the evolution of their relationship.
The broken glass over the poem represents the author's perception of the emotional and relational cost of their gender transition.
The author seems to suggest that their transition has introduced new challenges and possibly strained their marriage, as evidenced by their spouse's reaction of throwing the poem.
Despite the current turmoil, the author's commitment to their relationship and the love they share remains evident, as they had previously promised unending love and companionship.

Beloved, Broken

You are special to me in so many many ways, A treasure to behold that makes my life gay,

Sometimes I don’t stop and acknowledge the part, That you have played in the joy of my heart,

But I want you to know that I think that its time, There could never be one as special as you,

You have been there to love me when no one else did, You have left me sweet somethings and thoughts in your stead,

You’ve called and you’ve hugged and you’ve prayed and you’ve loved, And I know that you’re truly a gift from above,

A light to my day and a fire in my night. I’ll hold your heart safely and keep you from slight,

I’ll be your protector, your knight and your friend, As God as my witness, our love will not end,

Your beauty is pure and you’re lovely to see. I know that you’ll always be there for me,

And that the love that I share is yours too, I look in your eyes and I see me in you,

Jesus has given us each to the other, And I thank the Lord daily, that he’s made us both lovers,

So hold my hand daily and know that I care, And we’ll dance to His music, in the sweet summer air.

Commentary

I think this was the first and last time I wrote poetry in the context of my marriage. And I had forgotten all about this piece until I saw it hidden away on a darkened shelf. Sitting there collecting dust for the past 20 years.

And at the time the sentiment was pure. But times change, and if you look closely at the image of the poem you will see broken glass. My wife was upset this evening and threw the poem on the floor, shattering the glass. At times it feels like the love represented by this poem is part of the cost of my transition, the cost of becoming me…

Beloved, Broken

The Cost Of My Transition Just Went Up

Beloved, Broken

Commentary