Believe Reade and Vote for Biden
We don’t have to dismiss her to make that choice
I’ve been wondering what to think about Tara Reade’s allegations that Joe Biden assaulted her back in the day. Yesterday, I heard Stacey Abrams say she believes Joe Biden, who says it never happened, though Reade’s allegation should be heard and investigated. That’s a reasonable approach, but it didn’t sit easy.
Then this morning, I read two pieces on Medium that helped to clarify my thinking. Jessica Valenti says we must credit Reade if we don’t want to lose the moral high ground in The Importance of Believing Women, Even When it’s Inconvenient. And Nicholas Grossman does the math in The Crucial Difference Between Joe Biden and Brett Kavanaugh.
The upshot is that I believe Reade, particularly since others have come forward to say she told them about the incident at the time. But I will still vote for Joe Biden as the lesser of two evils.
If Biden would model how a powerful man apologizes to someone he harmed — or even might have harmed — it would be a great step forward in redefining masculinity
I can’t say I’m happy about it. I wish Biden would admit it might have happened and apologize and say he’s changed. He may have forgotten or suppressed the memory, which isn’t uncommon (I’ve done it myself). But I agree with Valenti that we need to #believewomen if we want to maintain the momentum of #MeToo.
Feminist and author of the Vagina Monologues Eve Ensler suggests in her newest book, The Apology (which I reviewed here) that the inability or reluctance of men to apologize is one of the pillars holding up the patriarchy. If Biden would model how a powerful man apologizes to someone he harmed — or even might have harmed — it would be a step forward in redefining masculinity and help to diminish violence and abuse.
Like Valenti, I’m unhappy that Biden will be my choice. Earlier in the political season, I had high hopes that a woman or a progressive (or both!) would be the Democratic nominee. But my lackluster enthusiasm will ramp up when Biden picks a female VP — the sooner the better. And an apology would actually make me proud to choose Biden, providing reason to trust it won’t be business as usual (disregard women and other disempowered groups) when he gets to the White House.
The choice between Biden and Trump is a no-brainer. I see Trump as a con-man and narcissist, using his position to enrich himself and harm others. Instead of modeling behavior anyone could aspire to, he models toxic traits of an outdated masculine ideal in desperate need of evolution: rudeness, bigotry, lack of empathy, mistrust.
What Grossman’s article helped me to reconcile was my support of Biden’s candidacy with my disgust with the Kavanaugh pick. The difference here is: there were many other acceptable candidates for the Supreme Court whom conservatives could have chosen.
With a Republican president and Republican Senate, the nominee was going to be a conservative, Grossman notes. But there was no lack of conservative judges who could have been put forward instead of insisting on a candidate whose credentials were in question. That’s the mistake that has put a foul and lasting cloud over the highest court in the land. That’s the betrayal of American women. Now two of the nine justices are men accused of sexual assault — 22 percent.
It didn’t have to be that way. Conservatives could have easily chosen someone else. But barring any astonishing developments, the American electorate won’t have that option. Come November, we will have a choice between two.
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