Being Yourself Is Difficult to Do

But it’s essential to living your best life.

All my life, I’ve been told to just be myself. But that’s easier said than done.

I grew up in a small farming town smack dab in the middle of Illinois. Coming from a small town, everybody knows everything about everybody else. Sometimes that’s a good thing, and other times, it’s not. Most of the time, it’s the latter.

Nevertheless, in small towns, everyone hangs out with their own groups. Especially in high school, there are the specific groups of people: the jocks, band geeks, art kids, nerds, burnouts, popular kids, theater kids and everything else in between. I wasn’t a part of any of these groups because I was somewhere in the middle.

Sure, I ran cross country, but that didn’t make me an athlete. I sure didn’t feel a part of their group. I played trumpet in the marching band but I was nowhere near being a band geek. During high school, I spent most of my time in a computer lab, writing for the student newspaper and yearbook, later becoming editor of each. And this is where I made my friends, but not with fellow writers.

Because I interviewed so many students about their extra curricular activities and clubs, I became friends with many of them. Mostly, one from each of the groups mentioned above. My group became a mix of all the other groups, but we rarely ever hung out together as a group. It was still individually.

Nevertheless, I still didn’t feel like I was part of a group. Sure, I had my own friends, but something still didn’t feel right. Until I read a Dr. Seuss quote that changed everything.

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”

I couldn’t believe it. I spent my whole life trying to fit in and be a part of groups, but by doing so, I was avoiding being myself. And why wouldn’t I want to be myself? I am who I am for a reason and I’m not going to change it for anyone and no one is going to force me to change it. If I’m not going to be myself, then no one else will. So I might as well just do it.

By doing so, it’s opened up my world and has made me a better person. Here’s how:

Do Your Own Thing

This may be easier said than done, but it’s essential for living your best life yet.

You have to do your own thing if you want to make the most out of life and find true happiness. So what makes you happy?

Cooking, writing, running, any hobbies that you love more than anything else? Do them. If someone else doesn’t like you doing them or thinks that you shouldn’t, they probably shouldn’t be in your life anyway.

When you do your own thing, you are finding yourself and what you love to do. You wear what you want to wear. You listen to whatever music you like. You do things the way you want to do them. Who cares if it’s not in style, not popular or you’re the only one that does them? If it’s your thing and you love to do it, then do it.

I’ve followed this rule myself to live a better life. I play acoustic guitar. I write songs, stories and articles here on Medium. Many of my friends don’t do these things, but it doesn’t matter. They make me happy. They force me to jump out of bed every morning and work on my craft.

Also, I wear cargo shorts almost every day of the year. I listen to old Taylor Swift and Beatles tracks. I eat McDonald’s more than I should. Why? Because I love doing those things.

Sure, some family and friends get on me about it sometimes, but at the end of the day, it’s not their life. It’s mine. I’m going to do whatever I want no matter what anyone says.

And by doing my own thing, I’m so much happier.

Being Alone Is Okay Sometimes

When you do do your own thing, you may go at it alone sometimes. And that’s okay, because being alone is sometimes better than being with other people.

If there’s a band or movie you want to see and no one else wants to go with you, screw them. Go by yourself. This has let me become much more free and viewing the world a different way

Over the years, I’ve attended plenty of concerts by myself. I’ve ate at restaurants alone because no one else wanted to join me. It may seem depressing at times, but again, it’s my life and I’m going to do what I want to do.

When you’re alone, you connect with your inner self more than you would if you had company. You enjoy the little details of the adventure. You smile because you’re doing that you want to do, and since your friends didn’t join, you smile at the fact that they’re missing out on a great experience.

If you feel alone sometimes, don’t. So long as you’re doing what makes you happy and enjoy life, then who cares. If your friends and family don’t join you, then it’s their loss, not yours.

So if you want to something and no one else wants to join you, don’t let it stop you from having a great time. Who knows, when you go alone, you’ll meet new people who like what you do too. This has happened to me tons of times in the past and it’s an unforgettable experience.

Don’t kick yourself for being alone. Instead, embrace its wonders and cherish the the beautiful moments you spend with yourself.

Your True Friends Will Stick Around

I have made tons of friends over the years.

Some stays with me but a short period of time, others a bit longer. But my true friends are the ones who never leave my side.

They are the ones who accept me for who I am and genuinely enjoy being around me. We make equal efforts to be with one another and none of us try to fake it until we make it. We truly want to be in each other’s company.

There have been a slew of friends over the years I thought were friends, but when you see their true colors, opinions change. They only hang with you because you’re in a certain club or because you are their last resort. I loathe people like this. It’s sad that even college students still do this today. It’s childish and immature.

Nevertheless, through all the bad friends, my true friends have never left my side. And I’m grateful for them every day. No, we don’t see one another or talk every day, but when we do get together, we pick up where we left off as if we’ve never been away from one another at all. Those are your friends for life.

Take some time and evaluate your friends. Are they true friends or are they using you? When you discover this, it opens up your world a little bit more and you realize that people aren’t always who they say they are.

So keep being yourself and doing everything you want to do in life. The friends that stick around you forever and accept you for who you are the ones you should never let go of.

They are your soulmates for life.

Closing Thoughts

Being yourself is difficult to overcome, but once done, it’s an even better life.

As a current college student, the lesson of being yourself is essential for college life and life in general. You have to do what you want to do and what makes you happy. You have to do your own thing.

It may feel lonesome and confusing sometimes, but just know when you do be yourself, you’re on the road to a joyous life.

So keep being you and doing your own thing. I will never stop being myself. It’s helped me this far in life and I know it will help you too.