Being Vulnerable To The Wrong Person

As if opening up isn’t hard enough.

Being vulnerable to the wrong people or person can really push you back into that cold hard shell you were pulled out of by sweet nothings.

The thought of being open to an actual face is pretty daunting to say the least. Only because opening up to somebody involves putting your trust in their hands to do whatever they want with it.

Sharing your secrets, embarrassing moments and childhood trauma can be used against you in ways that could result in never trusting again.

It’s not that I don’t want to open up to people.

I can’t.

I love when people open up to me and they always do. I’m not sure what it is but I’ve had people open up their entire life story to me within just a few minutes of small talk during a first meeting. I’ve been that face that others have opened up to because I am a person who is trustworthy in their eyes.

Although others have put their trust in me by sharing their vulnerable side, I find myself not being able to reciprocate that same energy.

The one time I did, I felt naked.

It was like every part of my past, present and future had been laid out for the world to view, nit-pick and judge.

I felt embarrassed.

I felt exposed.

It’s one thing to be open but it’s another when you open yourself up to someone who changes you and makes you never want to speak your truth again in fear of being seen in a different light.

Being vulnerable takes patience. I learned that you can’t force someone to be open to you. It comes in a gradual way. It also takes good judgment on your part to make sure that the person you want to be vulnerable to is someone who you can fully put your trust in.

Sometimes you will know if you can trust someone with your vulnerable side. That’s when you know it’s safe to open up.

Other times you’ll open up to the wrong person. That’s just one of many risks you’ll have to take and lessons you’ll have to learn in this life.

-K.L.