Being single is not a disease
You have to be single before you are in a relationship, duh!
I was at a conference last year, and I noticed many of the speakers made comments like, “When you get home, talk to your spouse or partner about this,” or “Share your experience with your spouse.”
I noticed…
Two things:
1. I said to myself: “What about the people who will go home and call their friend or not talk to anyone about their experience?”
2. My hearing sense could have been heightened because I was still newly divorced, and I paid attention to things “single” people notice versus what a married person would.
Are you supposed to be in a relationship?
As I heard these comments, it dawned on me that the world/society thinks being in a relationship is normal and expected. People who are single are not always seeking to be in a relationship. Some people are just happy being single.
Since being divorced, I have been asked these dreaded questions, and here are my answers:
“Why are you single?”
Why not? I choose to be single. After going through two rough marriages, being single is a breath of fresh air for me. There is nothing wrong with being single. I can’t compare my story to anyone else’s. We all have a story.
“How long have you been single?”
I normally tell the person how long, but does it really matter? I think the person wants to see if you have healed from the last relationship before they make a serious move. I get it. Healing is a journey not a destination.
“Do you want to get married again?”
I am open; however, I am not in a rush. I have learned to enjoy my own company, and I am genuinely happy. The happiness I have didn’t come from a relationship with a significant other.
I am happy because I truly love myself. If I choose, I don’t have to share my life with anyone. It feels good to have me all to myself.
Being single is a state of being, not a status or a validating factor of life.
You have to be single before you are in a relationship. Enjoy the single ride. It is up to you how long it lasts.
Marla J. Albertie, is a Certified Life and Career Coach, Author, and Blogger at www.theworkingwoman.co and owner of the Truth Speaks Group, LLC,a multi-media company dedicated to helping the working woman discover work-life harmony and not work-life balance. Marla loves to read, is a concert and comedy show junkie, and a cruiser for life. Follow Marla on Twitter @tspeakscoaching and IG @Tspeaksgroup
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