Why You Should Be Single In Your 20s and 30s

My single friends… allow me to shed some light on why being single is a GOOD thing.

“You need to worry about your body clock.” “Why don’t you have a partner yet?” “Don’t you want a partner?” “Have you thought about your timeline?” “You’re too picky!” “You need to install dating apps. Meeting people organically is not realistic anymore.” “Aren’t you worried for your future?”

The abovementioned statements are real life remarks made by my close friends and family. Every second day, somebody (of similar age) I know or know of are either… 1. Getting engaged. 2. Getting married. 3. Having a baby. 4. Purchased a home with their long-term partner.

It is extremely difficult to not compare myself to others within a similar age range.

I constantly hear and read about how “Everyone’s timeline is different”. However, in my circle of family and friends of like-age, it is exclusively my timeline that differs from everybody else.

I find myself questioning, “What is wrong with me? Why am I so behind?”

Yes. If it were up to me, I would not be single at this age. Yes. Preferably, it would be ideal to have a partner by now.

However, upon many years of self reflection, I have since come to a realisation. That is, being single is OK. More than OK. It truly is all about perspective.

So, let’s discuss the positives of being single in your late 20s or 30s.

1. Independence

Alone time is invaluable. If you’re an introvert, I am sure you can resonate with the following notion: being your own person of comfort is pure bliss.

The thought of worrying about my partner, catering to their needs and considering their feelings 24–7 is exhausting. Some may call me selfish. And maybe I am.

My friends who are in long term relationships, incessantly complain about their inability to do certain things, or go certain places because of their partners.

This. Makes. Me. Cringe.

2. Save Your Money

I constantly hear about folks in relationships complain about how much money they have spent since dating their partners. E.g., on expensive dinners, anniversary gifts, dates, and travel expenses.

Having a significant other often means ‘taking care’ of them financially. This of course, is not always the case. However, it is very much the reality of many couples I know personally.

My fellow single friends, see this as a positive and save your money.

3. Personal Goals

Being single enables you to more effectively focus on your personal goals and aspirations. Self-improvement is key and often, being in a relationship could hinder a person’s ability to truly self-improve.

Use this time to focus on your career, social life and friendship bonds. You will look back on your single life and regret not having focused on these while able.

CONCLUSION

As mentioned, it is all about perspective. Being single can be rough. It is important that we press the pause button and acknowledge the positives of being our own best friend.

And with that, I will leave you with one of my favourite quotes…

“You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never lose.” — Jo Coudert

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