Being Romantic Is the Most Dangerous Thing a Man or a Woman Can Do

Are you ready to live a more vulnerable life?

Romance is not always fun. It requires courage to see yourself through the eyes of another. Are you willing to deal with the vulnerability that comes with romantic love?

It requires almost saint-like acceptance of who you are and to be open for criticism and to give value to someone other than yourself.

It is not easy to truly love someone. The best strategy is not to value someone else more than yourself — though it is a standard feature of love — but to balance self-love and romantic love in a way that your self-love boosts your romantic life.

Why is it the most dangerous thing a man — or a woman — can do? Because the failure of romantic love can change you. And breakups happen all the time.

Your life will not be the same after you become romantically involved in a relationship. It is a turning point in the lives of most people — for better or for worse.

Researchers have found that strong romantic feelings cause a shift in your hormones — in new lovers as well as long-term partners. Also, romantic partners are more likely to get married as a result of their affair.

The hormones have an almost unrealistic level of control over the actions of some mammals, including humans.

Especially for men, falling in love may be more dangerous. You would hardly be able to control yourself from falling in love again and again. And you may also feel that your ability to think rationally has left you.

If you are a woman, falling in love may convince you to conceive a baby, and that is going to change your life forever. It is a dangerous side effect of romance for most young girls.

Though marriage is not directly related to romantic feelings, the wisdom of ages — and a research study — tells us that married people live longer and healthier lives. But in a Ted Talk, ‘What no one ever told you about people who are single,’ Bella DePaulo tells us that after going through a divorce, most people are worse off than people who never married in the first place. She says that she never married, and it has helped her live a happier life.

People who decide to be romantic are courageous enough to trust someone in a world where trusting someone is becoming increasingly difficult. When you love someone romantically, you allow them to criticize you, and you are ready to discuss your life with them. You may be sharing sensitive information with someone who may use it against you in the future. Sharing your deepest and darkest secrets with your lover is what makes romance so thrilling.

The history of divorces and failed relationships is evidence of how dangerous it is to trust someone. The legal implications of marriages and battles for the custody of children are a big part of human culture all over the world.

Despite all this, most of us are naive enough to think that the dating scene and romantic affairs are not the most dangerous things we engage in in our lives. Some are lucky enough to find their soulmates, but these blessed few are more of an exception than the rule.

After you pass through the pain of a breakup, you know how dangerous it is to love someone and trust someone. Most people develop psychological defense mechanisms and refuse to trust anyone wholeheartedly — ever. It is a scary situation as you refuse to reveal your vulnerable side to anyone and become self-obsessed or go through depression because you are no more capable of sharing refined feelings that make you a human being.

The anxiety, fear, and ability to share our most vulnerable side with someone is not only a reward when we love someone but also something that makes us worthy of their love. On a psychological level, we not only become more robust but develop a trust that our vulnerability is not something to be hidden but something to be shared and accepted for improving ourselves as human beings.

Loving someone and making love with someone is not only a way of losing your virginity, but you risk your emotional virginity as well.

What is emotional virginity?

It is how you feel about your sexual interests and your love of life in general. As we are sexual beings, our reality unfolds — in every moment of our lives — around our sexuality. And how we feel about the people close to us.

When you are young — and you are getting into the dating scene — you have many assumptions and expectations. Usually, your intentions are pure, and you are ready to trust the people you meet. It seems to you to be more natural to love than to not love.

And there is a time constraint as well. Our hormones need practice before we can become more mature about what we feel. Emotional maturity is — for me — less of a higher state of emotional sensitivity than becoming desensitized to how people around us behave. We become disillusioned and wary of other people and their actions as we go through life.

When you love someone romantically, you can get hurt. You are going to get somewhat desensitized after that. Even if you never go through a breakup, you expose yourself to a dangerous situation the moment you start loving someone. For the first time, you feel the fear of losing someone you love. It is a terrible feeling. You are thinking about the person even when you should not be thinking about that person. You are in your office, and you are thinking about this person who is not related to your work. The feeling gets worse as time passes. The more you love, the more worried you are about your lover’s well-being. You are also anxious that the other person might ditch you for someone more beautiful or smarter or richer.

This fear changes you. You feel unsettled, and you struggle to regain your composure.

Your simple wish to fall in love affects every part of your life. And all you want to do is to feel love, without which — most intelligent people think — this life is not worth living.

Final Thoughts

If you are someone who is generally a coward, you should not think about falling in love. As irony would have it, the cowards are not going to be people who will be falling in love anyway.

These cowardly people — if they are having an affair — would not reveal their more vulnerable sides for the fear that it would complicate their lives, and the other person would be more likely to leave them.

So the cowards will play safe and not feel true love or the passion that makes life worth living.

But what you choose is your own decision.

Only brave people ever fall in love. They know it is hard to succeed in love.

These courageous characters accept the mistakes of their partners like their own. These brave ones are willing to forgive their partner as they are willing to forgive themselves. They know they may fail. But if falling in love was not a risk, would it be this much fun — while it lasts?

No love that doesn’t expose you to the fear of losing the other person — or that does not make you more accepting of the other person’s actions and opinions — is going to be romantic in the real sense of the word.