SELF

Being Proud To Be Unworthy

Finding the courage to be disliked

There was one time back in my high school days when I was standing near the school foyer, seeking shelter from the rain as I was hinted at; to leave from my group.

We were like the woodlands bunch, always having plans after school. You know, the typical teenage stuff; football, hanging around the mall or simply raced to the nearest convenience store on our bicycles.

However, I am always ranked bottom in the social ladder simply because I was the newest member of the group. It sucks, but that’s the downsides of joining in late for the party.

That day, the boys secretly wanted to check out someplace in town and they intend to take a taxi. Considering that the cab only takes 4 passengers, it felt like my presence was an impediment to their plan.

It felt like there was a sudden “tribal council elimination” whenever a situation arises. Knowing that I am and will always be the weakest link, I eagerly tried to please, to the extent of compromising my own happiness.

“B-but pleasing others makes me happy as well, right?”

At least that is what I say to validate myself. I learned later in life that this kind of belief is selfish and self-centered, with no beneficial outcome to my self-worth besides allowing me to be a doormat.

“Rejection is merely a redirection; a course correction to your destiny.” — Bryant McGill

It is okay to be disliked

When we accommodate to everyone’s fancies and opinions, we indirectly place our happiness on the bench. This makes people throw their opinions around like they are dispensing facts of life like you should follow them and all.

Just because someone has an unfavorable opinion of you, does not mean that you are unworthy.

That is unfair to those who see you otherwise. You need to understand that opinions are merely a perception of what people think. Chances are, those who view you unfairly are simply not a good match for your life.

After all, you cannot force a square peg to fit a round hole.

What you can do

Be honest with yourself. Be proud that you are different and to allow others to view you as who you simply are.

For me, life is the neverending search to find your people. When we accept ourselves, we take off our scrutinizing lens and view people as simply patterns of different shapes and sizes.

It takes a great amount of courage to be shunned and rejected while in search of your kindred subjects, the ones that especially matter to you.

-Han