Being Kind Towards Others Takes Empathy With Ourselves

First, you must take care of yourself without expecting anything from others in return

“Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.”

—Mother Teresa

Living up to this quote is essential to make the world a more excellent place. It’s challenging, considering the world is spinning faster than ever, and our days are ticking by.

With hoarder mentalities spiking and motorists are exceeding the speed limit as if the main streets in our downtowns are race tracks; life is flashing by, and we are leaving ourselves in the dust.

Something needs to change within ourselves before the world around us will change for the good.

I had a rough morning the other day. I’m sharing my personal story not to be judged or criticized but to let you know I’m human. We all have a bad day here and there but how we impact others is up to us.

My anger reared its ugly self the other morning. I felt my family was dumping their critical moods and anger on me. I’m tired of negativity. Yet my response to everyone’s adult tantrums left me in a place of negativity and anger too.

“Small shifts in your thinking, and small changes in your energy, can lead to massive alterations of your end result.”

– Kevin Michel

I have been giving kindness left and right. I feel I had been doing these acts out of love and not expecting anything in return, but I feel tired.

I’m sharing my story to encourage others to be kind to themselves first. We can’t be kind without being kind to ourselves, period.

Anger, bitterness, and lack of self-control are sneaky behaviors and hold us back from being the type of person we want to be.

Kindness is a companion of love. Their qualities are much the same. What is one small act of self-kindness you have done lately?

Self-kindness is a choice

Why is it so easy to point the finger at other people’s negativity and downfalls around us, but as for our behaviors, it’s another story?

We can’t make others behave like we would love them to act. Willingness to spread kindness is a choice.

Kindness is entirely our choice towards others, but it must start within ourselves.

Have you noticed when you feel well cared for, you are kinder?

In my teenage years, my sisters and I would fight not always, but we would scream at each other often. The word that we would throw around without much thought was selfish. We each said it without thinking about the effect that it would have on each of us.

I’m an empath and regret saying that to my sisters, but we need to learn from our mistakes. We must also keep our feelings in check. We must consider how self-care makes us feel. Of course, it makes us feel kinder; it’s truly the secret to being more considerate towards others.

Do we not take time for acts of self-kindness because of the fear of becoming selfish? I know I do – yet in order to give freely, my cup must be running over.

“You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.”

– Unknown author

Practicing self-kindness regularly

Some of us might need a little practice. Let’s start small at first. Taking a whole day to lounge around while napping on and off with great food, books, and movies might seem impossible.

However, taking a candle-lit bath with soft music and an excellent book for a half-hour might seem more like it.

Just like small acts of kindness has a ripple effect. So too do small acts of self-kindness.

Thinking about a tiny self-care idea is the only way to get started. The key to feeling better and being kinder towards yourself and others begins in our minds. Taking care of our minds is a full-time job with a tremendous payoff.

After achieving a self-care act of kindness, you must thank yourself like someone else doing you a kind deed. Acknowledging these acts of self-kindness improves the chances of you continuing more of the same.

Lasting effects of self-kindness

What compliments, mantras, or acts of self-kindness do you remember most that you have said or done for yourself?

My favorite mantra or quote is,

“I can and I will. Watch me.”

– Carrie Green

These have lasting effects on our character and abilities. I call this quote a mantra because it’s something that somebody can easily repeat.

Do you have some self-kindness acts that come to mind? When was the last time you thanked yourself for being your best friend? Being kind to ourselves is a priority that gets overlooked.

Are you afraid of becoming a selfish person? Here is a little secret if you are not taking time for yourself, chances are you have been putting others first. Plus, you aren’t going to become an extremist of self-care suddenly.

Take away

Today is a fresh start to look at the way you have been treating yourself and others.

Replenishing your sense of self might take some nurturing like any relationship.

Being selfless when it comes to saving another person’s life is genuinely heroic. But, how often does that happen unless you’re in the medical or municipal field?

Even so, having or demonstrating great respect for other people and little if any concern for yourself on a day-to-day basis is ludicrous.

Kindness begins with a self-care act, and then the ripple effect might become more like a wave in this big ocean in which we live. What might you do for YOU today?

I’m writing this as a thank you note to Trista Signe Ainsworth for her theme this week within her publication Thank You Notes.

The writers are encouraged to share stories about water and its replenishing effects. Perhaps a nice warm bubble bath could be just the self-care act of kindness that will start a surge.