Being Human Is A Problem

My issue with emotions

It’s natural to have feelings. Feelings left unchecked or unregulated becomes emotion. People see emotions because they are feelings expressed into actions. Most of the time, emotions aren’t pleasant to deal with due to their irrational nature. It consumes the personality and people start losing themselves. Otherwise, it alters the way people think about you in a way that does not accurately represent you. Even if you aren’t the type to care about what people think, having a bad reputation still brings more harm than good.

Here are my reasons why you should avoid being too emotional.

It gets in the way of doing the right thing.

Here’s a real-life situation to think about: the healthcare power of attorney is conferred by one person to another, usually a family member, to decide what kind of care they should go through if they are unable to make the decisions themselves.

Now, imagine an unfortunate situation. You have been trusted with power of attorney for healthcare for your spouse, whom you finally got married to after being together for 8 years. Then something tragic happens; your spouse's life had been cut short due to a random assault on their way back home. Their life is now barely sustained by medications and a ventilator. Can you really bear to let them go?

Not everyone can make that decision; I’ve seen it. Even if they do, they might be haunted by the dilemma of whether they had made the right decision for the rest of their lives. The feelings of guilt, regret, and even the sense of attachment, are emotions that behave like a curse.

It makes you act in ways that don't benefit anyone.

Consider this situation: you have been working at a teaching hospital for the past five years as a therapist. For the last five years, you‘ve accepted your assignments unconditionally; despite being worked to the bone and the lack of incentives as compared to your peers in other hospitals.

You had a conversation with a student who was about to graduate. You talk about job prospects and asked if they wanted to work for this hospital. You learned that they had been offered a contract that pays the same pay that you have with five years of experience as their base pay. They were going to accept an even higher-paying job at a neighboring hospital instead of at this teaching hospital. How would you feel?

Naturally, as a result, you no longer are willing to be as unconditional to the job and want to do the minimum. The declining commitment and dedication show in your work, which starts to piss some colleagues off. People start talking behind your back about being lazy and it all becomes a vicious cycle.

This probably applies to many people as well, and I empathize. It’s not the fault of the worker, but life can be truly unfair. Still, not doing your job with some level of quality only comes back to bite you in the butt.

I rather keep the hurt to myself and focus on not getting hurt anymore.

Emotions are the reason why conflicts go nowhere.

Looking back at the arguments I’ve had with various people, most of it seems to stem from some sort of hurt. While being hurt cannot be avoided, the response as a result of being hurt is the problem. After the hurt, it’s only natural to get defensive and retaliate against the person who hurt you. In response to your retaliation, they give you another blow and it keeps going; probably until someone starts sobbing.

The things that others say to you are up to interpretation. For example:

“You are so dang slow!”

The first way is to be offended at the tone that it conveys to you. The second is to be offended by taking slow as an insult. The third is the understanding that you truly are slow. It seems more likely for people to take it the first or second way. Then the conversation becomes about, “why are you so mean?” or “why are you being rude?”. It starts to get personal.

Does everything have to be personal though? Questioning the person as a response, in this case, can be asked to clarify their intentions. If they intended to provide feedback, then gladly take it and would ask them for help. If they wanted to be personal (which I doubt most people would admit), then it could go two ways. The first is to start a confrontation, and the second is to just laugh it off. I usually choose to laugh it off because I figure that I shouldn’t stoop to their level.

Confrontations are unnecessary. They waste time and they take up your energy; they live in your head rent-free. Not everyone is going to live in my head easily, especially with pettiness.

Feelings are natural, but being emotional can be harmful. Many times, people regret acting based on their emotions. Usually, it involves some sort of consequence before realizing that they should have taken a step back to evaluate themselves before acting out.

Learn to be aware of how you are feeling; acknowledge it and do your best to stay objective. Take time to yourself to figure out your feelings, and find ways to manage those emotions by healthily releasing them. Some examples might include finding someone to confide in, finding a safe space, or a hobby that will help you calm your feelings.

I know it can be tough dealing with feelings and emotions, but it is necessary in making the world a better place to live in.