avatarCalum James

Summary

An employee's candid and intentionally provocative description of their unconventional weekend activities during a mandatory remote team check-in leads to an awkward silence, shock, and the suspension of the weekly ritual.

Abstract

During a remote team meeting, an employee is pressured to share details of their weekend, a practice deemed essential for team morale and productivity by company leaders. Despite initial reluctance and attempts to give non-specific answers, the employee eventually divulges a weekend filled with activities like drinking, looting, vandalism, and dogging, much to the horror of their colleagues and manager. This over-the-top sharing results in an immediate halt to the check-in tradition and a disciplinary meeting for the individual.

Opinions

  • The employee views the mandatory sharing of weekend activities as an intrusive and uncomfortable practice.
  • The employee initially tries to avoid detailed disclosure by providing vague responses, indicating a preference for privacy.
  • The company leadership believes that forced social interaction, such as sharing personal stories, is a key motivator and productivity booster.
  • The employee's colleagues and manager expect a certain level of personal sharing, as evidenced by their requests for more details and photos.
  • The employee feels cornered and decides to subvert the expectation by sharing exaggerated and socially unacceptable activities, effectively critiquing the practice of mandatory sharing.
  • The employee's actions suggest a resistance to the company's enforced 'fun' culture and a questioning of its effectiveness in building team morale.
  • The intense reaction to the employee's sharing, including the suspension of the weekly check-ins, implies that others may also find the practice uncomfortable or inappropriate.

Humor

Being Forced to Explain Your Weekend to Colleagues on a Video Call

Are you sure you are ready to hear what I got up to?

Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash

As the awkward silence lingered on for what felt like an hour, I had to break it. “Well, You asked”, I shrugged to indicate I thought anything was fair game. From the look of horror on all my colleague's faces, it seemed like they didn’t really want to know about my weekend activities after all.

Being a bit of a degenerate by nature, my weekend wasn’t what most would class as your typical one so I found it hard to answer the question, what did you get up to on your weekend? Particularly in a professional setting.

Most people in my company are much older than me and are able to describe in great length how they watched their kids dance recital or took them to the park. I didn't have that cop-out luxurious response.

For a few weeks, I tried giving vague answers like seeing friends and going for a walk. But this apparently wasn’t enough and people wanted more details. Who did you meet up with? Where did you walk to? They even asked me to take pictures, like show and tell at school. I started to dread the weekly Monday morning call and even had sleepless nights trying to think about how I would answer this difficult question.

My manager started to show some frustration and articulated how I needed to share more with the team as this was such a vital aspect of remote working and increasing team morale. The leaders on the call were convinced that ‘team check-ins’ were better motivation than a pay rise or reduced work hours. They were adamant that these engagement tactics would increase productivity.

As a result, this forced ‘fun’ was ruthlessly shoved down our throats, where it was now mandatory that everyone attended every week and enthusiastically take part. They even started monitoring attendance, so those of us who were disengaged and wanted to remain that way had to continue to half-heartedly deep-dive into our personal lives with this group of mostly strangers.

As the peer pressure from my manager and leaders on the call intensified, I felt like I had been backed into a corner and had no other option. I started opening up and being as honest as I could.

“My weekend was quite eventful.” I began. “I started Saturday with a cheeky joint to get me a bit spacey and ready for the day. Then I went for my usual breakfast, 5 shots of flaming sambuca and a few cans of special brew to set me on my way. The rest of the day involved my customary anti-social activities, including looting, vandalizing respected monuments in town, and shouting abuse at pigeons. To finish off the day I went to my social club, where this week's activity was dogging in the park. This was a really good workout and a nice way to kick back and meet new, like-minded people in a very relaxed setting. I took a few pictures and videos, which I have just sent in the group chat for you all to view.”

As I got to the end of explaining my Saturday, the silence and pure shock were evident immediately. My manager looked more horrified than anyone, with his hands planted on his face like the boy from Home Alone. What followed the intense awkward silence was the week's check-in coming to a sudden halt and me being scheduled a disciplinary meeting to explain my behavior.

One good thing that has instantly come from this controversial overshare is that the weekly check-in has been put on hiatus for the time being. If nothing else I have done my colleagues a massive favor.

As I reflected on what went down on the call and what backlash I now face, there was one strong thought more than any other that kept rising to the surface. Thank god I stopped on Saturday. Saturday was tame. Sunday was far worse!

Humor
Humorous Life Lessons
Funny
Weekend
Work From Home
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