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Abstract

they are different and not everyone will like their designs. But just because they dress alternatively doesn’t mean they are deranged or stupid.</p><p id="1b8e">I’m sure if you ask any celebrity, being famous has its pitfalls. You somehow become public property up for scrutiny; every action or reaction is analysed. You’re public fodder — and often chewed up and spat out.</p><p id="954d">And the worst culprit is the media.</p><p id="e1d8">What irritated me the most was how irresponsible this radio station was to use Hannah and Steven’s photo to attract attention to their Facebook page. They didn’t preface it with who they were or what they had accomplished; just last week, Hannah and Steven announced a collaboration with <i>Rick Owens</i> and <i>Converse</i>, but no; that wasn’t mentioned.</p><p id="4dd5">They purposefully threw them to the wolves for comments, knowing full well it would cause a stir and attract people to their Facebook page/radio station.</p><h2 id="a500">We are living in contemptible times</h2><p id="1eb0">Our world is full of so much hate. Self-righteousness permeates our existence. Mankind has forgotten how to be kind. If you are different from ‘the norm’ you are subject to unwelcome commentary.</p><p id="abfc">I have no problem with expressing an opinion, but why do people get off being nasty? Isn’t it better to say nothing than to stoop to hostile, malicious and demeaning comments?</p><p id="084a">Especially when they’re an unfounded, assumptive and personal attack.</p><p id="2234">It happens here on Medium too. I have thankfully not received any hateful responses to my stories but I have read about other writers experiencing it many times. I find it disgraceful. What has happened to diplomacy and tact?</p><p id="3840">Sure, I’ve read a bunch of articles that I roll my eyes at but I’m not going to go and chop someone off at the knees because I don’t have the same opinion. I move on to the next story and say nothing.</p><h2 id="6b20">My response</h2><p id="4a92">My daughter is old enough to fight her own battles but when you bring mama bear into the verbal attack, my back goes up and my armour comes out. I could've written a slew of profanity but I knew that would just fuel the raging fire.</p><p id="fc4c">And I’m not that low.</p><p id="976a">The best weapon to fight ignorance and judgmentalism is to educate.</p><p id="6f3b">I called the radio station out:</p><blockquote id="a1e4"><p>Unfortunately, my comment will come after 100K others. I’m all for your media site posting pictures of artists, but the manner in which it was done was clearly feeding the sharks of judgmentalism and mockery. Given the divided world we live in, would it not have been more appropriate to applaud Hannah and Steven for their artistic work in the first place before seeking judgement? Instead, you fed them to your followers who are clearly predominantly judgemental and have no qualms about dissing differences vehemently on YOUR site.</p></blockquote><blockquote id="885f"><p>Shame on you. It’s media folks like you that corrupt free-thinking minds, endorsing shame and hatred in the process. Educate yourselves before offering bait. These two are the kindest souls if you bothered to get to know them before judging a book by its cover — and feeding them to your sharks.</p></blockquote><p id="0427">They have not responded to date. I doubt they will.</p><p id="9b31">I also wanted to say a lot of things to the individuals that posted hateful words. I posted a couple of comments defending Hannah and Steven and questioned if they had considered there were people behind the clothes, but then I gave up.</p><p id="05ff">Instead, I posted the story I wrote about their evolution as a fashion brand. It’s unlikely most will bother to read it; they will continue to live in their contemptuous bubbles. How do you get through to people who blatantly called Hannah and Steven pea-brained t

Options

hings who only deserve a bullet?</p><h2 id="a493">Think before you speak, write.</h2><p id="3c7c">Regardless of where you live, there will always be bigots, racists, homophobes and unkind people. Simple gestures of holding a door open for the person behind you or acknowledging someone in the elevator seem to be out of vogue. We keep walking without looking behind and avoid eye contact or a friendly hello.</p><p id="2916">Why? I’ve no idea, but it’s a sad reality of the 21st century.</p><p id="58e2">We each have a responsibility to change this. And we must start to do so right now.</p><p id="5212">Before slam-dunking someone, stop and consider what value your words bring:</p><blockquote id="2b4f"><p>Is it <b>T</b>rue?</p></blockquote><blockquote id="14ce"><p>Is it <b>H</b>elpful?</p></blockquote><blockquote id="cddb"><p>Is it <b>I</b>nspiring?</p></blockquote><blockquote id="f103"><p>Is it <b>N</b>ecessary?</p></blockquote><blockquote id="ee18"><p>Is it <b>K</b>ind?</p></blockquote><p id="4be6"><b>THINK</b></p><p id="eb3e">We must all be held accountable for what we say and write whether it is face-to-face, on social media or here on Medium.</p><p id="96c9">While my daughter and her fashion brand may not be mainstream, they are still humans with a soul. If any of these mean individuals had bothered to google them, they would see how accomplished they are. I’m pretty sure not one single one of these bigots could match their achievements.</p><p id="2fd3">I understand if you don’t like their clothes or think the shoes are ridiculous, but it doesn’t warrant an abusive attack on them as people. Just like if you object to someone’s opinion, you shouldn’t launch a counterattack on their personal character.</p><p id="9578" type="7">Ask yourself those questions first.</p><p id="e9e5">Every single writer here has a unique style, vision, opinion and purpose. Every single human being deserves to be treated respectfully regardless of race, colour, creed, sexuality or looks. Diversity and differences make our world a beautiful place.</p><p id="2190">If only people would open their narrow minds to this, we would live a much happier existence.</p><p id="32fd">Comments like what Audrey, Lesley and the two Keith’s made are defamatory, unnecessary and unkind. They deserve to be named — and shamed, as does Sunshine FM Costa Blanca. Such abusive words should <i>never</i> be written or spoken.</p><p id="c9b8">Own your words.</p><p id="26fa">Think before you write and speak.</p><p id="6833">If you are interested in reading the story about my daughter’s success in the fashion industry, I have written 2 stories about her and the evolution of <i>Fecal Matter. </i>The second one is what I posted on the Facebook page.</p><div id="d5b7" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/changing-appearance-addc9bf66f1c"> <div> <div> <h2>Changing Appearance</h2> <div><h3>The evolution of my daughter’s dream</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*LallCCtUfLk9spbG.jpg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="3932" class="link-block"> <a href="https://bettermarketing.pub/the-world-needs-more-fecal-matter-6eca3a11e2f4"> <div> <div> <h2>The World Needs More Fecal Matter</h2> <div><h3>How an alternative fashion brand name has shaken the industry</h3></div> <div><p>bettermarketing.pub</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*ABupqI_fW8H30MqxLGUdcg.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Being Different Doesn’t Warrant Abuse

Think before you write — or speak

I was incensed when a friend forwarded me a Facebook story recently. A radio station — Sunshine FM Costa Blanca — had posted a photo with the caption ‘What would you call these shoes…?’

The photo was of my daughter and her partner; they are a fashion duo, Fecal Matter. Their designs are alternative and out of this world — more alien-like than human. Their clothes are certainly not my cup of tea but they’re impressive and thought-provoking. I have the utmost admiration for their work.

It’s art — in fashion.

Hannah and Steven live and breathe their brand. It takes time, patience, commitment, desire — and a whole heap of courage. Every day they walk out the door proudly dressed up in their own creations. They believe in themselves and their message: to not judge a book by its cover.

What people said

As I read a smattering of the 100K comments plastered on the site about the photo, I witnessed first-hand just how shallow and vile people are:

Whatever you wanna call those shoes ridiculous but I’m so glad they’re not my children! Audrey Ward

Left their pea brain at home, looks like they have about enough brains to floss cadavers teeth in a funeral home. Lesley Ann Weld

Never mind the shoes, what do you call the things wearing them? Keith Bolton

As my late Father used to say,” you see some dammed funny things when you don’t have a gun!” Keith Martin

I was horrified and disgusted that anyone could utter these hateful words — and that thousands of people chimed in either with more malice or an emoji of support.

As much as I realize Hannah and Steven’s designs are to provoke, does that mean they deserve abusive comments? Why do people get off slamming others? It’s all very well to think a design may look ridiculous but to outright publicly chastise and insult a person making assumptions about their character is reprehensible. How would you like me to personally attack your daughter or son? Is your job as a cashier worthy of scorn and ridicule?

Absolutely not!

Thankfully, there were some positive comments too:

The shoes I don’t like, but good for them being individuals, they are probably nice people, I don’t ever judge. Tracey Forster

Amazing human art. If I bumped into these people I’d love to have asked them many questions. Is it their own work? It’s amazing. I can’t believe all the negative comments they are getting. Jon Simms

They have their own clothing brand! They’re on Depop and Instagram and I’m sure they’d be amused at all the boring ordinary people squirming at their creations! Carla Whitehouse

Bravo to these folks for speaking out, celebrating differences and standing up against the haters in this snake-pit of venomous words.

It’s par for the course — but it shouldn’t be

Indeed, Hannah and Steven are used to negativity and they brush it off for the most part. They’re fully aware that they are different and not everyone will like their designs. But just because they dress alternatively doesn’t mean they are deranged or stupid.

I’m sure if you ask any celebrity, being famous has its pitfalls. You somehow become public property up for scrutiny; every action or reaction is analysed. You’re public fodder — and often chewed up and spat out.

And the worst culprit is the media.

What irritated me the most was how irresponsible this radio station was to use Hannah and Steven’s photo to attract attention to their Facebook page. They didn’t preface it with who they were or what they had accomplished; just last week, Hannah and Steven announced a collaboration with Rick Owens and Converse, but no; that wasn’t mentioned.

They purposefully threw them to the wolves for comments, knowing full well it would cause a stir and attract people to their Facebook page/radio station.

We are living in contemptible times

Our world is full of so much hate. Self-righteousness permeates our existence. Mankind has forgotten how to be kind. If you are different from ‘the norm’ you are subject to unwelcome commentary.

I have no problem with expressing an opinion, but why do people get off being nasty? Isn’t it better to say nothing than to stoop to hostile, malicious and demeaning comments?

Especially when they’re an unfounded, assumptive and personal attack.

It happens here on Medium too. I have thankfully not received any hateful responses to my stories but I have read about other writers experiencing it many times. I find it disgraceful. What has happened to diplomacy and tact?

Sure, I’ve read a bunch of articles that I roll my eyes at but I’m not going to go and chop someone off at the knees because I don’t have the same opinion. I move on to the next story and say nothing.

My response

My daughter is old enough to fight her own battles but when you bring mama bear into the verbal attack, my back goes up and my armour comes out. I could've written a slew of profanity but I knew that would just fuel the raging fire.

And I’m not that low.

The best weapon to fight ignorance and judgmentalism is to educate.

I called the radio station out:

Unfortunately, my comment will come after 100K others. I’m all for your media site posting pictures of artists, but the manner in which it was done was clearly feeding the sharks of judgmentalism and mockery. Given the divided world we live in, would it not have been more appropriate to applaud Hannah and Steven for their artistic work in the first place before seeking judgement? Instead, you fed them to your followers who are clearly predominantly judgemental and have no qualms about dissing differences vehemently on YOUR site.

Shame on you. It’s media folks like you that corrupt free-thinking minds, endorsing shame and hatred in the process. Educate yourselves before offering bait. These two are the kindest souls if you bothered to get to know them before judging a book by its cover — and feeding them to your sharks.

They have not responded to date. I doubt they will.

I also wanted to say a lot of things to the individuals that posted hateful words. I posted a couple of comments defending Hannah and Steven and questioned if they had considered there were people behind the clothes, but then I gave up.

Instead, I posted the story I wrote about their evolution as a fashion brand. It’s unlikely most will bother to read it; they will continue to live in their contemptuous bubbles. How do you get through to people who blatantly called Hannah and Steven pea-brained things who only deserve a bullet?

Think before you speak, write.

Regardless of where you live, there will always be bigots, racists, homophobes and unkind people. Simple gestures of holding a door open for the person behind you or acknowledging someone in the elevator seem to be out of vogue. We keep walking without looking behind and avoid eye contact or a friendly hello.

Why? I’ve no idea, but it’s a sad reality of the 21st century.

We each have a responsibility to change this. And we must start to do so right now.

Before slam-dunking someone, stop and consider what value your words bring:

Is it True?

Is it Helpful?

Is it Inspiring?

Is it Necessary?

Is it Kind?

THINK

We must all be held accountable for what we say and write whether it is face-to-face, on social media or here on Medium.

While my daughter and her fashion brand may not be mainstream, they are still humans with a soul. If any of these mean individuals had bothered to google them, they would see how accomplished they are. I’m pretty sure not one single one of these bigots could match their achievements.

I understand if you don’t like their clothes or think the shoes are ridiculous, but it doesn’t warrant an abusive attack on them as people. Just like if you object to someone’s opinion, you shouldn’t launch a counterattack on their personal character.

Ask yourself those questions first.

Every single writer here has a unique style, vision, opinion and purpose. Every single human being deserves to be treated respectfully regardless of race, colour, creed, sexuality or looks. Diversity and differences make our world a beautiful place.

If only people would open their narrow minds to this, we would live a much happier existence.

Comments like what Audrey, Lesley and the two Keith’s made are defamatory, unnecessary and unkind. They deserve to be named — and shamed, as does Sunshine FM Costa Blanca. Such abusive words should never be written or spoken.

Own your words.

Think before you write and speak.

If you are interested in reading the story about my daughter’s success in the fashion industry, I have written 2 stories about her and the evolution of Fecal Matter. The second one is what I posted on the Facebook page.