Being Broken is just the beginning

For an egg to be useful, it has to first be broken.

Most of us have come to the realization that the one thing in life that is constant is change.

Whilst some changes are positive and welcomed with open arms, others may be unpleasant as they have such a huge negative impact on our physical or emotional wellbeing; and in some cases, both.

We frequently lose our grasp at this point, and everything comes tumbling down around us, leaving us feeling; shattered, ashamed, forgotten, useless, idiotic, and unrepairable. To engage in the transformational process, dwell on what is feasible rather than what is impossible.

In these circumstances, it is important to know that when the storm comes and blows you about, it doesn’t have to break you. You may be in despair and without a clue of the next steps to take, so I want to share ways in which you can keep hope alive by adjusting, adapting, transforming, and growing stronger, despite the challenges life has thrown at you.

“Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.”

– Rikki Rogers

Brokenness to restoration

Kintsugi (golden joinery) is a Japanese technique for restoring damaged ceramics using lacquer that has been dusted, or combined with powdered platinum, gold, or silver.

It embraces the damaged or despaired items and shows us that brokenness is a common thing and as such; acceptance of change and fate is part of human life.

The knocks, shattering, and fractures the ceramic ware is subjected to, demonstrates the change of circumstances or fortune to which all people are vulnerable. It’s important you recognize that we are all unique, take steps to identify your own issues, and apply the proper actions to promote healing.

This technique is about more than just fixing what’s broken. Kintsugi’s goal is to make anything that is broken look better than new or more appealing than it was previously.

Every Kintsugi rejuvenation is one-of-a-kind. Each has its own story to tell, in the same way as humans heal after facing tragedy or setbacks. The process is not quick. It very much depends on the severity of the damage but the result is well worth the effort.

Not only is there no effort to hide the damage, but each rejuvenation is seen as a celebration of moving forward.

“Personal growth is about progress, not perfection.”

– Hal Elrod

Habits to promote self-love

Dig deep and explore your mental toughness, find what you need to keep going because you usually can keep moving on long after you think you can’t. I also suggest you do the following:

· Embrace change and adopt a growth mindset.

· Let go, accept your new reality and keep moving.

· Set boundaries and guard them for your peace of mind.

· Be kind to yourself.

· Take time out to relax and reflect on how far you have come.

· Focus on the positive aspects of things to help minimize the impact of stress and anxiety.

· Invest in your well-being in ways that give you opportunities to explore self-love.

· Practise mindfulness by observing your actions and thoughts without criticism

· Showing compassion towards yourself that you would normally reserve for others.

· When negative thoughts cross your mind, notice them, acknowledge them and then let them drift past to avoid being caught in a downward spiral.

As creatures of habit, we cling to the familiar even when it starts to have a detrimental effect.

We worry that letting go of what we know and venturing beyond the boundaries of our comfort zone will only make things worse… even if we have nothing to lose by such action or indeed inaction.

The choices and mistakes we have made, the losses we have incurred, and all experiences we have had, all form part of our life’s story and make us who we are today.

No matter how much we wish the past to have been different, the reality is, that you cannot go back and change the choices made yesterday, so why dwell on sadness and misfortune?

Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting or avoiding what happened. It means learning from the experience and drawing positive lessons whilst still endeavoring to take the next step forward.

Also, just in case lightning does strike the same place twice, you’ll be better placed to respond without being weighed down by the emotional turmoil experienced on the previous occasion.

What broke you doesn’t have to define you. It doesn’t mean you will forget the hardship or hurt you have endured, far from it, but it does mean making a conscious effort to let go of past negative experiences and emotional baggage.

This will allow you to make room for a wide range of invaluable benefits including reduced stress levels, improved self-esteem, less fearfulness of the unknown, and more embracing of life and the new things it will bring your way.

“Healing comes in waves and maybe today the wave hits the rocks and that’s ok, that’s ok, darling you are still healing, you are still healing.”

– Ijeoma Umebinyuo

Takeaway

Unbeknownst to us, sometimes pain and hurt herald in a new era of growth in our lives. If you are to cross over into this new era, it’s imperative that you dust yourselves down and take the appropriate steps to heal.

· Ask for help when necessary and take things one step at a time.

· On a personal level, be open to new ideas, options and perspectives.

· Cultivate a sense of gratitude to promote positivity.

· A new tribe will embrace you, don’t be scared to connect and build a network of reliable people.

· Remember that what may have worked in the past, doesn’t mean it’s suitable in the present or will it be in the future.

· Get to know yourself and acknowledge what’s important to you.

I have some good news- It does not just struggle that molds you, your success also molds you. Rather than seeing your limitations, see your potential and lean towards it.

Thank you for reading and please feel free to share your suggestions, questions, and feedback in the comments. If you liked this article and want more, you can subscribe here.

Through my nearest, dearest and others, I know personally how healing and inspiring the power of words can be.

I enjoy taking a creative route when looking at different complex ideals and issues that regularly occur in everyday life and am an avid believer in looking into the deeper meaning of life.

I love writing about self-improvement, highlighting motivational messages with a key theme of resilience and I also regularly use these messages to guide, enlighten and challenge myself and others.

As different as we all are, we often have the same questions, concerns and challenges. I want everybody that ever reads a Patience Hunter offering to take comfort in knowing that none of us are truly alone. It’s okay not to have all the answers. I certainly don’t. We are all just doing our best to find our way and it gives me great pleasure to share what I find and take in the varied perspectives of my readers.