Being a Highly Sensitive Person is f***ing my life

Navigating life as a highly sensitive individual is far from easy. Every aspect of life can become a challenge when you feel too much and have access to the full spectrum of emotions. If I had the choice not to feel so intensely, I would take it. Unfortunately, no one gave me that choice. Now it’s all about handling my sensitivity to the best of my abilities.

Sensitivity is a trait that humans are born with. It’s related to how the nervous system reacts to and processes different stimuli. It’s not a disease; it’s just a different way of reacting. When there’s an inconvenience in life, it feels like someone took your heart out and left it beating while you watch, unable to move. Sensitivity is both a strength and a weakness. You’re able to understand every color of the rainbow, almost tasting them all. But while swallowing, you choke and die.

I’m constantly drowning in life. Stability is so precious but so hard to achieve. When a highly sensitive person finds equilibrium in life, we thrive. The feeling of control is crucial to us. However, life has its hitches along the way, which defy the stability that we’ve created. This is far from a bad situation, and instability is something that most people can live with (in a normal way).

Things like love are very disturbing to me. There are two ways that someone highly sensitive can experience it: either drowning in each feeling as if the person you’re meeting is the love of your life (when obviously it’s not), or completely numbing your ability to love. When I was younger, I remember falling in love very easily and feeling a constant pain in my chest because I was experiencing this emotion to the fullest. Little did I know, I didn’t like any of those people.

So let’s say that love is out of the question. I’ve been severely confused about actually how much I like someone or if I’m just projecting back their affection towards me. It’s very confusing and definitely requires having good control of your own feelings and being able to distinguish what belongs to you and what is a consequence of understanding and being empathic with another person.

Maturity and life experiences make everything so much easier and, above all, give you perspective. A way to measure the relative importance of your emotions. I believe it’s easier for us to always be at the end of the feeling spectrum, as if you’re playing music and you turn up the volume to the fullest. Living in extremes is not optimal, as Aristotle knew.

“Every virtue is a mean between two extremes, each of which is a vice.”

Either way, this implies that pure bliss and depression are equally probable, obviously not in the same situation. In the end, it’s not a mental disease. One thing I quite enjoy doing is analyzing people. I find it very easy to grasp onto small details of the people that surround me and little by little construct their personality in my head. This way, it’s easy to know what their next move is going to be. It also allows me to feel much more empathetic and mostly feel what they’re feeling. Disclaimer: this is not always a good thing. Well, up to some point, it is. It’s good to be able to practice empathy but only if it does not compromise your own self, which for highly sensitive people, I think it does. But, I mean, it’s a good ability to have.

One of the biggest challenges for highly sensitive people is finding a balance between empathy and self-preservation. While it’s important to be able to understand and feel for others, it’s also crucial to maintain your own emotional stability. It’s a delicate dance of knowing when to lean into your sensitivity and when to protect yourself.

Honestly, it’s a trait like any other. It’s better to view it that way so that you can learn how to manage it and how to be the best version of yourself. Life experiences give you the tools you’ll need. In the end, it’s up to you to use them. The possibility of going with the flow and living in chaos is very tempting to me, so maybe for you too.

In the end, being a highly sensitive person can be challenging, but it’s also a unique and valuable trait. It allows us to experience life in a different and more nuanced way. The key is to find balance and learn how to manage our sensitivity so that it doesn’t overwhelm us. It’s a journey, and there will be ups and downs, but it’s worth it to embrace our sensitivity and use it to become the best version of ourselves.