Behavioral Activation: The Gift to Change Your Mood You Give Yourself
Weather doesn’t have to dictate how you feel. Try this idea and see if you can pull yourself from the depths of despair and find hope today.
Rain is a gift. I see the rain as a wonderful blessing now as I am older and reflect on the life as a I knew it in rainy Washington. Every Saturday and Sunday it seemed the rain would pour. Outside meant getting wet, but as a kid we didn’t mind so much as we loved to be outdoors.
We need to own our moods. Nothing can make us feel anything without our permission.
As an adult, I learned to love rainy days, not to splash in puddles or deal with unkempt hair, no. I loved rainy days because it gave me the permission to read a book, uninterrupted. The lull of the drops falling from the sky gave me a sense of comfort. The memory of rainy forests, or rain at the beach, often fill my mind as I read, so sometimes, I take a pause to remember.
What does rain mean for you?
Yesterday, the group members were lamenting the rain in Wisconsin. Day three, today, of rain and blustery winds have provided a much needed break from the dryness. As much as the sun makes things bright and beautiful, the rain makes things green and lush. We need both. A balance of nature’s dance in life.
As I reflect on the concept of the weather affecting our moods, I consider the vast openness of the world and realize the excuse it is. Of course, there are down days and up days. Some land on sunny moments and others on rainy days. When we blame the weather on our foul mood, we need to take a step back and realize excuses are useless tools of the simple-minded.
Own your mood is a new way to think. Own it! Make the mood your own!
Easier said than done, though if you struggle with mental illness. As clinicians, we help clients stop blaming the weather for the depressed state of mind. Isn’t so much easier to point to the weather than to admit our mental illness has taken over? Mental illness can be an excuse to not try or a impetus to move forward and become a whole person again, despite it’s grip.
Consider a scenario: Joy and Travis (fake people in my story), had an argument on Saturday, during a barbecue on a warm, pleasant evening. Travis forgot it was Joy’s birthday and she felt sad he had neglected to think of her. Travis was overwhelmed with work and deadlines, that he forgot to even set a reminder. The verbal guns blazing toward each other, blame and attitude soon destroyed a beautiful evening. Two days later, the rain was pouring, and thunder filled the air. Joy was contemplating her mood. I know its the weather, she thought. She pensively looked out the window. Her mind wandered along the usual paths, “I am not good enough. I’ll never amount to much. Look at my clothes, they don’t fit right. I am huge! (even though she was extremely under weight).” And so went her train of thought. On the fourth day following the fight, the weather did not let up and she was crying on the couch when Travis came home with flowers. He apologized for forgetting her birthday and brought her a gift. She lit up and forgot the mood, even though she still felt depressed.
When we allow excuses to dictate our moods we forget how much the impact of communication and connection also impact our mental states. If you suffer from mental illness of any kind, like BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) your moods will fluctuate rapidly. Blaming the weather is taking something out of your control and applying it to your inner person.
We need to own our moods. Nothing can make us feel anything without our permission. We give the weather permission to wreck our day when we let go of the gift of choice. Sure enough, your mental health dictates what the emotional side of the mind will send to you, and you get to take back the power by using different tools to embrace a wholeness to life.
Behavioral Activation are part of the change one can make to increase positive emotions and feelings. They encompass looking at your life and the values you have. The areas you have left off doing: taking a walk, playing in the rain, enjoying a movie or a cup of coffee with a friend. Even things like fixing your hair or exercising are behavioral activation you can incorporate into your day and raise your mood.
Activity for you:
Make a list of all the activities you love to do but have stopped doing. Create an additional list of things you’d like to do, but never tried. After you complete the list, then go through and rank the items on a scale of 1–7. The scale is used to rank difficulty in alignment with anxiety or depression. One is not an issue at all to 7 is outright impossible. In your list, you’ll rephrase the events like this:
- Look up recipes for cookies on Monday afternoon, choose one.
- Create a grocery list of the items needed for the cookies by Wednesday at 4 PM.
- Go to the grocery store by Friday at 5 PM and get the items for the cookies.
- Bake the cookies by 6 PM Saturday. Share with family.
These simple steps are ways to increase mini-goal setting but also help to distract you from succumbing to depression’s nasty grip. Starting simple, you build up a tolerance and habituate toward activities where your joy returns, slowly, steadily, and consistently. As you attend to yourself, you’ll feel more alive and depression will lessen its grip.
Mental illness can be an excuse to not try or a impetus to move forward and become a whole person again, despite it’s grip.
The next times it rains, remember all the blessings of the rain and the goodness the earth feels with the sky giving it a big drink of water. Instead of focusing on what you cannot do, find the good you can and make some healthy, focused changes. I’m making changes and finding joy in the journey as I celebrate another rainy day in Wisconsin.
~Just a thought by Pamela
