Before You Diagnose Yourself with Depression or Low Self-Esteem…

First make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes!

Before You Diagnose Yourself with Depression or Low Self-Esteem, Consider Your Surroundings.

“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.” — Sigmund Freud

A witty and thought-provoking statement that packs a punch. Yet beyond the humour lies a profound truth about the impact of our environment and the people we interact with on our mental and emotional well-being.

The Power of Our Surroundings

We humans are social creatures. Our behaviour, emotions, and self-perception are deeply influenced by the world around us. Whether we realise it or not, the people we associate with, the spaces we inhabit, and the cultural norms we encounter shape our thoughts, feelings, and actions.

1. The Company We Keep

Imagine you’re at a dinner party. The conversation veers into negativity, gossip, and cynicism. You dissect people’s lives and tear them apart. It’s even worse if you are the topic. How do you feel afterwards? Chances are, you’ll leave feeling drained, perhaps even a bit disheartened. Now, consider spending time with friends who uplift you, encourage growth, and share positive experiences. The contrast is stark.

Takeaway: Surround yourself with people who inspire you, challenge you, and genuinely care about your well-being. Toxic relationships can erode your self-esteem and contribute to feelings of depression.

2. Emotional Contagion

Ever notice how emotions are contagious? When someone around us is anxious, angry, or stressed, we tend to absorb those feelings. It’s like catching a cold — it spreads. If you’re constantly exposed to negativity, it seeps into your psyche. Conversely, being around joyful, compassionate individuals can elevate your mood.

Takeaway: Be mindful of emotional contagion. Choose environments where positivity thrives and be a source of kindness for others.

3. Mirror Neurons

Our brains contain mirror neurons — remarkable cells that fire both when we perform an action and when we observe someone else doing the same. These neurons allow us to empathise and imitate. So, if you’re surrounded by assholes (pardon my language), your mirror neurons might start mimicking their behaviour. Before you know it, you’re adopting their negativity.

Takeaway: Be selective about the behaviours you mirror. Surround yourself with role models who exhibit qualities you admire.

“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, try removing social media for a month.”

4. The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

When people consistently treat you poorly, it chips away at your self-worth. You internalise their judgments and mistreatment. Soon, you start believing you deserve it. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy — you attract more negativity because you expect it.

Takeaway: Challenge negative narratives. Recognise that your environment shapes your beliefs. Seek out positive reinforcement.

5. The Ripple Effect

Our behaviour ripples outward. If you’re in a toxic workplace, your stress affects colleagues. If you’re in a nurturing community, your kindness inspires others. We’re interconnected. By choosing kindness and empathy, we create a ripple of positivity.

Takeaway: Be the change you want to see. Your actions matter, even in seemingly small interactions.

So, before you label yourself with depression or low self-esteem, pause. Reflect on your surroundings. Are you surrounded by assholes? If so, consider changing your environment. Change toxic friends and acquaintances. Seek out those who uplift, challenge, and support you.

You’re not an island — you’re part of a dynamic web of human connections. Choose wisely, and let kindness be your compass.

In the example at that dinner party, maybe steer the conversation toward something uplifting. Who knows? You might just change the atmosphere — one positive ripple at a time.