Been Thinking About Words — Medium Words — Have You?

Not merely as the building blocks of sentences, paragraphs, pages and chapters — but as wellsprings and balms and yes, weapons and shields

I pondered long before I decided to write this article. In a very long career of disputes and contentious rhetoric; of divining right from wrong, and black from white, and true from false; but finding that there are few clear demarcations — I finally decided I could not simply accept some words hurled at me, and must respond appropriately; though as a gentleman. Always as a gentleman.

And in coming to this decision, I also decided that I was royally pissed off. Trying to hold that in check — we’ll see how it goes. Getting that angry is usually not a good thing, since 99% of the time I am as meek as a dove and smooth as Tennessee whiskey — but the other 1%, usually when I’m really pissed, well…not so much, and it’s complicated.

A couple brief thoughts before I begin:

Words that can hurt can also heal — George Carlin

Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes — Cher (If I could turn back time)

I’m one of those people who take some time to decide on things; but then once decided, well…I press on, full speed. So, having decided:

Someone, whom I will call a Medium acquaintance (and again, I take the better part and do not identify the person or even gender), recently said the following to me, broken down into 5 remarkable (or not) statements:

• Different parts of the world speak differently;
• What you see as ‘snark’ is what is called in Washington, D.C. ‘straight talk’;
• Nothing is sugar coated;
• Ask a question. You get an answer;
• No one is responsible for your emotions except you

Why did I need to think about this for several days? Frankly, I was burdened by the nature of the communication — it was a mixture of banality, braggadocio and bluster; but the communicator might have some influence over my future on Medium, even if in a small way. So I pondered. Yes, despite what some may believe, lawyers are actually taught to think, and balance and weigh before they speak.

So, I thought for awhile. And I also recalled the backstory:

I wrote an article that I thought good; I got a message: “I don’t get it” which highlighted two words in the article; I asked a question: what do you not get? The two words (or what they referred to), or the article itself?; I got an insulting response, accusing of me of being snippy towards someone volunteering their weekend time to help me publish my articles (oooh, aren’t you snippy…); I replied that I was not being snippy, but simply asking a question; I got no answer to my question (and never did); and the communicator then blocked me so I could not respond; then I got the 5 statements (April 4th) upon which I have been ruminating.

I was cool with it for awhile, as I had much on my mind and my plate. But it rankled. I oscillated and I meditated: ignore that shit, or speak out? On the one hand, this person has been around on Medium much longer than I; manifestly knowing more than I do about publishing on Medium. On the other hand (feeling a little like Tevya in Fiddler on the Roof), I have a policy of not letting anyone tell me that up is down, or light is dark. But on the other hand (more like Tevya than ever), I absolutely, positively do not let anyone bully me and then just cut-off the conversation.

You understand, that is like throwing out a bullshit line to a judge and then running out of the courtroom claiming you need to pee and can’t hold it (yeah, had someone try that once). No, I finally decided. You provoked, and after much thought, I will speak out this time.

So, let’s revisit those 5 statements, shall we? My comments follow in CAPS (that’s how pissed I am):

• Different parts of the world speak differently; YEP, BUT WHAT’S THE POINT? IF YOU SPEAK THE SAME LANGUAGE AND THE TRUTH, WHAT DOES IT MATTER?
• What you see as ‘snark’ is what is called in Washington, D.C. ‘straight talk’; STRAIGHT TALK…IN D.C? BULLSHIT; IF YOU WANTED TO TALK STRAIGHT YOU’D HAVE DONE SO…AND ANSWERED MY BLOODY QUESTION, WHICH WOULD HAVE HELPED ME — WHAT YOU CLAIMED TO BE DOING
• Nothing is sugar coated; NOT SURE WHAT THIS MEANS, BUT PRETTY SURE MOST BREAKFAST CEREALS, AND POP-TARTS ARE. YOU? YOU SEPARATED THE SUGAR FROM THE CEREAL OR THE WRAPPER FROM THE LOLLIPOP— AND I GOT NO SUGAR, NONE AT ALL, BUT THE FUZZY END OF THE LOLLIPOP. YOU SHOULD BE TIRED OF BANAL AND VAGUE METAPHORS BY THIS TIME…HAVING BEEN WRITING FOR SO LONG
• Ask a question. You get an answer; I DID ASK A QUESTION, AND A SIMPLE ONE. AND I DID NOT GET A RESPONSE; AND NOW I NO LONGER CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY
• No one is responsible for your emotions except you. IF WE’RE TALKING ABOUT OTHER THAN THE PERSON SEEKING TO ATTACK ME, I SUPPOSE I MIGHT AGREE. BUT ARE YOU SAYING THAT AN INSULTED AND IGNORED PERSON IS THE ONLY ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR FEELING INSULTED AND IGNORED? THAT’S F****ING SICK

Snark:I know it was not knowingly done, but you picked possibly the most freaking wrong person in the country to try to bully, throw shit at and then hide from. Sometimes you’re the windshield, and sometimes you’re the bug, I guess. I tried.

Deep, deep breaths. Letting some calm wash over me. Reminding myself of the Noble Truths and Eight-fold Path. Jaw is unclenching, temples feeling better. All is well. I can again not be a pissed-off lawyer, but a daddy to my dogs, and can look at my artwork and take some more deep breaths; and enjoy a glass of wine, and …

OK, I’m done. I said what I have to say, and I’m moving on, feeling better, and thinking I’ll be able to breathe and meditate without incursions of unnecessary crap on my mind.

I’m back in my dove and Tennessee whiskey mode.