Becoming Your Own Best Friend

She was there all along, waiting for you

Meeting the “self” activates the transformation of human consciousness. ― Caroline Myss

There used to be days when I would cry a lot. I thought it was because there were long-distance friends who I missed dearly. That was part of it. Many years had passed, and I had not yet found new friendships where I was. Even as time passed and I made an effort to make dear friends where I lived, there was still a longing in my heart. Something was missing.

It seemed that every year that went by, that strange longing was still there. There were always events, gatherings, meetings, phone calls, and more that would fill up my calendar. I went about my days working away, trying to fill the hours. There would always be something to do, somewhere to be. Little did I know I was covering up something deep in my soul.

The workaholism, perfectionism, the filling up of time, those were all of my habits meant to keep the pain at bay. The guilt, the things I thought I should do, the things I had to do were all there as a shroud, covering up my true self. My spirit waited patiently, knowing I would be there someday.

This year was my saving grace. Everything came to a screeching halt. That sound of silence, the empty calendar, the loss of obligations, the gatherings that did not happen are my greatest gifts. Now I see clearly that my best friend has been waiting right here.

There is a worn path in the grass of our back garden. That is the journey of silent walks I have taken with myself. Here, we are free. The guilt, shame, and worry that I carried around with me for years have evaporated into the morning mist.

Every day I commune with myself, my best friend. I now know I am a loving being, no matter what. I have so much to give through my words, my art, and my creativity. There is not anything else I must do other than be myself.

I thank the silence, the emptiness of this year, for the time that they gave me to heal. I will be forever grateful for these moments. They have brought me home. I now have the spirit to carry on my mission of love to every person I encounter.

I feel that we all deserve to find our authentic selves. These past few months have allowed me to discover my inner being. It is there to guide, teach, and provide shelter to my soul. All of the acceptance and love I was seeking outside of myself was there all along.

My beautiful loved ones and friends all compliment my inner being and are there to point out more ways in which I can become more of myself. I now know that we are all complete, just as we are. That light inside of you is waiting to shine. If you slow down enough in life, you will see it.