Becoming Your Own Best Friend

What I’ve learned from being an only child and being independent

Life can be daunting, especially when you feel alone. For many people, living on their own can be a long-lasting thing and most people seem to find more negatives in it than positives.

I’ve been an only child my whole life. My parents both work very hard, and without another person my age in the house, it can feel very isolating at times. I normally turn to my friends when I want to hang out even for a little bit, but at the same, they can always turn to their siblings for immediate people to hang out with. A lot of the time I feel alone and left behind.

Now, with quarantine and COVID-19 seeing my friends has become even less of an option for social interaction. Most days of the summer, so far, I have found myself sitting at home doing little to nothing every day and wondering what it would be like if I could have a sibling or someone else to hang out with during the day. It would make my life a lot more interesting. I hear my friends tell stories about them and their siblings going to get Dairy Queen late at night and listening to music — I never found interest in doing that alone.

For the longest time, I’ve never been able to grow out of the feeling of being alone. I feel like I can’t branch out to just be a kid because there aren’t other kids around me. But, the other day I experienced one of the most simple things in the world — and it changed my perspective on everything. I’ve realized how little it takes to become your own best friend and to be able to enjoy yourself even without friends all the time.

I guess I should tell you about my “life-changing” story.

A few days ago, I wrote a list of things I wanted to do this summer. These things were also distant-friendly so I could do most of them with my friends. I was fairly excited, and making lists always gets me to feel productive and motivated.

One of the things on this list was going on a bike ride around my neighbourhood. It sounded like such a peaceful thing to do, but it was something I wanted to do with my friends. Going on a bike ride seemed awfully disappointing to go by myself — I didn’t want to just ride in silence and look all sad and lame. However, going on a bike ride distant with my friends might be hard because the sidewalk was awfully narrow and we wouldn’t be able to talk too much. I was conflicted. It was times like these that I wanted siblings I could go on adventures with at any time.

I started to look at my list and I began to feel alone again. It seemed like all the things I wanted to do were things that would only be fun with my friends. It didn’t seem enjoyable alone.

But this all turned around the other day. I realized that I wanted to go on the bike ride. The weather had cleared up from being cloudy all day and I was super excited to get a workout in. But my second guesses started to come up — will it even be fun alone? What is the point of doing it without any friends?

I pushed my thoughts aside and decided to go on the ride. I got ready, got my bike, and started to listen to a podcast. It was a 51-minute episode, so I set off.

Quickly, I began to actually enjoy myself. It was nice to feel the breeze, and listening to the podcast helped me feel a little less alone. I even found myself enjoying the ride because I didn’t feel the need to constantly be having a conversation with a friend. I could instead just enjoy being with myself.

I biked for 49 minutes and started to head back. I was unbelievably happy. Even though I didn’t do the ride with my friends as I had originally intended, I realized how it was still fun to do things on my own every once in a while. Rather than sitting at home and deciding not to go on the ride and mope, I decided to create my own fun and encourage myself to find joy in doing things on my own.

I realize how powerful this was in teaching me a lesson about becoming your own best friend. Of course, being alone all the time is not ideal. But in times where you find yourself limiting your freedom and enjoyment, take some time to focus on simple and easy things you can do that you can enjoy on your own! Read a new book, find a new podcast, try a new workout, start vlogging and making YouTube videos! The possibilities are endless, and you can do whatever you feel works best for you.

There are countless ways you can expand yourself into becoming your own best friend. Become confident in enjoying things on your own is the first step — it will become incredibly helpful in the future because everyone feels alone at some point in their life, it’s not just only children.

I think this moment of self-growth is incredibly important for me because it’s helped me realize how I can turn the time I spend complaining about being alone into times I spend enjoying my own company and creating my own adventures.

In order to become your best friend, take some time to reflect on what you think is fun for you. Don’t consider what you can do with your friends, or what your friends might enjoy doing. Think of things that you know will entertain you. This can be different for everyone.

It may take a while before you realize how important and fun it can be to learn how to have fun alone. However, give it time and allow yourself to experience failure. And remember — don’t try to force yourself to do things that you think worked for other people. I believe a big reason why I found the bike ride amazing was because I was motivated and excited about it right from the start. I didn’t let anything else affect my decision. Sometimes, it’s best to wait for moments where you feel most motivated because you might end up gaining the most from it.

I hope this reflection helps anyone who sometimes feels alone and isolated. Find your passions, and become your own best friend!

Thanks for reading!

Rashmi