Summary

A mother recounts her emotional journey as her son enlists in the U.S. Marine Corps, detailing the challenges and rewards of becoming a military family and the support she found in a community of military moms.

Abstract

The article delves into the personal experience of a mother whose son unexpectedly decides to join the Marine Corps, a decision that initially comes as a shock to her due to his previous aversion to the military. As she navigates the emotional rollercoaster of his departure for boot camp, she grapples with sadness and worry, exacerbated by the lack of communication during his training. Her concerns are alleviated through the support of a Facebook group for parents of recruits, particularly a group of mothers known as "The Mom Squad." This connection provides her with the strength and understanding to cope with the separation. The mother's pride in her son's achievements, including his selection as "Lead Artist Recruit," and the relief of hearing his voice after the Crucible, a final challenging test, are significant highlights of her journey. The article concludes with her deepened faith in her son's chosen path and the strengthening of their familial bond through this experience.

Opinions

The mother initially saw the military as a solution for her son's discipline issues.
She was surprised by the depth of her emotional response to his departure.
The mother believes that only those who have experienced it can truly understand the emotional toll of having a child in boot camp.
She highly recommends finding a support group of other military parents, especially other mothers, to cope with the experience.
The mother expresses that the military has been an excellent choice for her son, contributing positively to his personal growth.
She worries about her son's creative outlet being stifled but is pleasantly surprised to learn he is using his artistic talents in the military.
The mother values the shared experiences and emotional support provided by the Mom Squad during her son's training.
The article conveys a sense of pride and relief upon learning of her son's successful completion of the Crucible and his overall achievements in the Marines.
The mother's Christian faith plays a role in her perspective on her son's journey and safety in the military.

What it’s Like Becoming a Military Family

Navigating the unexpected with a huge piece of advice

December of 2021, my son told us he had decided to enlist in the United States Marine Corps. I was really shocked because years ago, when I mentioned the military for him, he was adamantly opposed.

He was a difficult son to raise from the moment he was born. He had greatness in him, but it was hiding. I was at my wits end many times, and the military just seemed like the only viable solution to shaping this young man into who I knew he was.

He needed someone else to instill discipline into him, I thought.

Finally various experiences brought him to a place where he desired greater discipline and more challenges for himself, and once we got over the shock/fear, we believe that it has been an excellent choice for him.

I have not been silent about the fact that raising Ashton came with some extreme difficulties. And despite that, he and I share a bond unique to us because of our similar personalities.

Nothing prepared me

Nothing could have prepared me for the process of his leaving for boot camp. Since he has been living on his own for several years, I didn’t think it would be hard at all.

Boy was I wrong!

He left a week before Christmas, and on our Christmas vacation I was so sad, so scared and felt so lonely. I cried every day.

Since you don’t have any contact for a few weeks (and then only letters for 13 weeks) it’s almost torture for a mom not knowing how they are handling the difficult challenges you’ve read and heard about. I know now, that only a mom who has experienced it can really understand.

I knew he would have to endure the gas chamber, being sprayed in the face with pepper spray (then completing an obstacle completely blind) and many more tests that would push him to the end of himself.

The Marines is notorious for being the hardest to pass, and the sergeants operate by their own set of rules so basically anything goes.

Some things happen on that island that are never retold. And many things he kept from me to protect me.

At one point, I just wanted so much for him to know he was not alone. I had the idea to send him this letter:

Big advice

So it wasn’t until I joined a Facebook group for parents of boot camp recruits, and then met up on a private chat (affectionally known as “The Mom Squad) with other moms whose sons were in my son’s platoon, that I finally got the courage and strength I needed to not be a basket case every day of the week!

They were truly a God-send, and we are forever knitted together by the common bond our sons have given us.

(So big advice if you are a military mom: Find you a group of other military moms. They are the only ones who will understand what you’re going through, even better than your husband.

And learn flexibility. You’ll need lots of it!)

Once he was able to send letters to us, he did so frequently and there are no words to describe the exhilaration of seeing his letter in my postal service informed delivery each night! I literally waited on pins and needles for the mail to arrive.

His tenderness and affinity for home were very evident and it made our years of difficulty so worth it. I read most letters with tears streaming down my face as he vowed his love to us and apologized for having made things hard.

Unexpected gift

He is a really brilliant artist and one of the things I worried about was losing his creativity or just facing depression if he was unable to use his creative outlet.

Unbelievably, we got a letter saying he had been chosen as “Lead Artist Recruit” and spent lots of hours doing projects for the drill instructors! It made my whole year.

Much of my time those 13 weeks was spent combing Facebook posts of photographs various people on Parris Island snapped, looking for my son. There was just something inexplicable about laying eyes on him and seeing he was OK.

Of course the Crucible is the most challenging of all, for both recruit and a mama. It’s the last test that must be passed to become a Marine. It is a 54-hour challenge of some of the most grueling physical and emotional challenges a human can face.

I didn’t sleep much that night, and our Mom Squad planned a Facetime group chat for 2 am to pray for our recruits. It was a sweet time to share in that feeling only we knew.

The next day we had to wait with great anticipation for the phone call that would let us know whether he had passed the Crucible. It would be the first time we heard his voice in over 3 months.

He called, he had passed, and we cried tears of relief.

Running out to hug him on that first day before graduation was one of the most amazing moments of my life!

We are so proud of him and so glad he chose this route. He is now married to his best friend and has a precious companion with him to cook for him and comfort him on the hard days.

There are still so many unknowns and fears ahead, but I believe Ashton is where God wants him to be, and there is no safer place than that.

Semper Fi.

I’m a Christian, a wife and a homeschooling mom of 11. Catch me on Facebook or visit my site.