Be With People Who Support You

Inside the Membrane — Cyrl’s Corner’s Blogs

Surround yourself with people who support you

Disclaimer: I am not a Licensed Life Coach, but I want to share with you my experiences in hopes that they will inspire you to pursue your goals as well

You probably have heard this many times.

As have I.

But I didn’t think much of this until I started bringing up my goals and new ventures to people who I thought I could share them with. Since I am new to the career that I am pursuing, I thought that they would share the excitement that I felt.

And boy, was I met with discouragement, disbelief, and fears before I even had the chance to actually start!

I really should have known better at this point, since for example:

For the longest time, I stopped writing and pursuing my other passions. Even when I started again, I was hesitant. Since these are the people that I have trusted and have watched me grow up, I took their opinions to heart.

I believed in their doubts (I am actively working on getting that out of my mindset).

And I could not fully fault them.

When you have society and the media always telling you to take the stable route (there is no such thing as “stable” by the way), to never go against the grain, or you have only heard of things going terribly, it is easy to subscribe in those same beliefs.

But if you already believe that you are going to fail, then you already have failed.

Instead of putting all your efforts and focus into achieving what you want to do, you are transferring that energy to find many backup plans that may or may not even work, and maybe something that you don’t even want to do at all!

Now, since you no longer have the energy and time to pursue your original goals, you won’t succeed. Your goals turn into unachievable dreams. You have confirmed your pre-conceived biases that you are going to fail.

This was my experience.

For every single thing I pursued in the past (whether it was higher education, career, or even any hobby I wanted to try), I went in half-heartedly and with already a defeated attitude.

I felt unworthy in everything that I touched even if I did okay. I wasn’t passionate about any of them.

And you know what? Everyone I spoke with felt that energy from me. I became what I resented the most.

Getting into the right mindset can be difficult, and it is much more difficult when you have people around you repeating the same mantra.

Imagine that you joined a marathon and your family and/or friends are already telling you that you are not going to make it even before it starts.

How discouraging is that?

So far, this is what I have found helpful for me, and maybe, they will work for you too:

(a) I started surrounding myself with like-minded individuals:

Don’t get me wrong. Various opinions are great!

They challenge what you know and they push you into doing more research.

What I meant by this is surrounding yourself with people who also believe in what you do. Especially when you are pursuing a business and/or a creative venture.

Be with a community that would nurture your talents and help you grow.

Be with the community that understands your pain points and the value that you can give.

Be with the community that encourages you instead of the opposite.

They can be online communities and even the people that you network with.

(b) Find a mentor(s) who can guide you:

Finding someone who has experienced the same way as you have and even more can give you guidance and insight into matters that you probably won’t even know about.

They’ll be able to point you in the right direction and help you with the challenges that you will meet along the way.

(c) Make a plan, execute it, and examine what works and what doesn’t:

I am still at this stage and putting together a business plan is helping me address my Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats (Yes, you caught me. A SWOT Analysis), and my reasoning for pursuing my career.

It also helps me strategize for the risks involved and it is a form of reassurance to me that I am going into this with eyes wide-open and with full commitment.

(d) I can’t believe I am saying this, but be careful of who you share your goals with especially when you are just starting:

Do not be like me.

I know how excited you may be. Who doesn’t want to share their ideas with the people they love?

But sometimes, out of love, they may discourage you. They may not do this on purpose. After all, they only want what is best for you too. Yet sometimes, what they think is the best for you is not.

Or

You can have family and/or friends who may not want you to be different from them or who you used to be.

It is also difficult if the person is your partner and they may also be financially obligated in your relationship. If this is your case―and I truly understand this, you may need to have a full conversation with them. I can’t tell you the best way to approach this scenario since everyone’s relationship dynamics are unique. For that, I apologize for not having the solution for you right away.

To wrap up:

I still have a long journey to say that I have reached and/or surpassed my goals. I am still climbing the mountain and mapping my way up.

But I certainly find that it is much easier to climb that mountain when I surround myself with people who are not pointing me in the wrong direction or telling me flat out that I will not make it.

It may be a challenge for me since these people are close to me, but it certainly helps that I also have found other people who support me.

I would also like to look back on this article years from now. I hope by then, I will have so much more value to add to this and to you too.

But for now, let me part with this:

Do not get so wrapped up in other people’s fears and their preconceived notions of what success is like. Everyone’s definition of success is different. How you define it and what you do to achieve it, is what should matter to you.

Do not go into something thinking that you will fail. By doing so, you already have. You have taken yourself out of the race before it has even started.

Believe in yourself. You got this.

— -

Hi, I’m CyCy!

Thank you for reading. I truly appreciate it!

I am a multi-genre writer. Although I love writing fiction and poetry, I also want to share helpful tips/blogs, personal essays, and introspective articles.

I love learning about new things and sharing my knowledge/ideas with the world! You see, I fully subscribe to knowledge is power.

I also believe that the best way to connect with someone is through written words and/or the arts.

Anyway, thank you for your support and I hope you will keep coming back for more.

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