Be the Person You Can Become

But sometimes, the best-laid plans fail to materialize

I am struggling these days to give up coffee. I love the energy spurt it gives me, but I’m not too fond of the resulting heartburn if the caffeine level is too high.

This essay recognizes that sometimes in life, what we wish for fails to materialize. And this has led me to Poe and his treatment of the imp of the perverse. Poe used this phrase before Freud, who talked of the id, or the often-unrestrained love of pleasure.

Imp of the Perverse is a metaphor for the urge to do exactly the wrong thing in a given situation for the sole reason that it can be done.

Poe’s story

“The Imp of the Perverse” is a short story by the American author Edgar Allan Poe. It was first published in July 1845 in Graham’s Magazine.

Poe’s theory is as follows, and I paraphrase.

We stand upon the brink of a precipice. We look into the abyss and become sick and dizzy. We know we should shrink away from danger. But for mysterious reasons, we remain as if transfixed.

We may feel chilled to the bone by the fierceness of the view of horror, says Poe. At first, it is merely an idea of what it would be like if we fell into the abyss. (Poe seems to argue that the delight of the perverse causes us to indulge it.)

We contemplate the danger, badness, and pain from which we may not recover.

Poe’s theory may also be an early concept of the subconscious and repression, for which Freud is famous.

Contradictory Impulses

Poe’s story shows that humans are capable of what Coleridge called ‘motiveless malignity.’

I do not claim ‘motiveless malignity’ in my refusal to give up caffeine, but I do see a failure to control it on my part. And what is the origin of this hypocrisy?

I have long argued that one needs a foundational motive, like a desire for self-respect in my case. But now I know it does not always act as a reliable guide.

The imp of the perverse can sometimes interfere with one’s best-laid plans. Momentary lapses can sometimes contradict one’s most vital beliefs.

I take pride in my identity as a self-disciplined person. But this pride has not proved strong enough to stop the coffee habit.

My current accommodation, though unsatisfactory, is to make weaker coffee to lessen the heartburn; but it does not sit well with me. With less potency, why bother?

We sometimes do things we would rather not do but find it had to pull in the reins.

Serenity Prayer

Now I better understand the so-called serenity prayer often used in addiction treatment.

This prayer was composed by the American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr.

‘God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.’

Niebuhr’s prayer originally asked for courage first, specifically for changing things that must be changed, not things that simply can be changed. (See serenity prayer in Wikipedia.)

Postscript: After writing the above, I looked up the long-term implications of heartburn in hopes of finding a more substantial reason to stop coffee. Coffee is well known as an aggravating substance. It turns out long-term heartburn can lead to a precancerous condition!! Yikes. Now I have stopped.