avatarRafay Hiraj

Summary

The article advocates for the pursuit of personal dreams with a balance of selfishness and selflessness, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries and being stubborn to achieve one's goals and ultimately help others.

Abstract

The author of the article suggests that being selfish about one's dreams is not inherently negative, as it can lead to selflessness by enabling individuals to inspire and assist others after achieving their own success. The article underscores the necessity of having an escape plan from unsatisfying jobs, which is rooted in the pursuit of one's dreams. It also distinguishes between being polite and being taken advantage of, advising readers to be stubborn in their goals and selective in their commitments to preserve time for emotionally significant relationships. The author encourages embracing change and improving oneself, while also cautioning against the comfort zone that can stifle personal growth and progress.

Opinions

  • Selfishness, when directed towards achieving personal dreams, can paradoxically lead to selfless acts by empowering individuals to help others.
  • Having an escape plan from a job one dislikes is crucial for personal freedom and leverage, preventing one from becoming enslaved to their work.
  • True politeness is about knowing when to say no and setting boundaries, not about pleasing everyone.
  • Prioritizing emotional connections over mere physical presence is essential for meaningful relationships.
  • Success requires the ability to say no and to avoid being trapped by others' expectations or the comfort zone.
  • Change, despite being frightening, is a constant and necessary element for personal growth and achievement.
  • Surrounding oneself with like-minded individuals who share similar dreams can foster obsessive dedication to achieving those dreams.
  • Stubbornness, in the context of pursuing one's goals, is a positive trait that helps maintain focus and resist distractions.

Be Selfish About Your Dreams, Don’t Be Enslaved

Be selfless by being selfish, be polite by being stubborn

Image by Tony Norkus in Shutterstock

They tell you, be selfless

They tell you, be polite.

But they don’t tell you how.

One thing I learned today is, selfishness is not the contradiction to selflessness. Selfish things can be selfless.

We all must have an escape plan. If you don’t have an escape plan working at a job you hate, you have no bargaining power. It makes you a slave to that job.

If you can’t say no, you can’t bargain. If you can’t bargain, you are a slave

— Jordan Peterson

The escape plan comes from your dream. What it is you want to achieve in your life.

Be selfless by being selfish

Nature respects us. I never thought of it that way.

It hits us in different ways, but those experiences are not supposed to beat you down to your knees. They are supposed to put you in a position of power.

It took me a while to understand this but it makes total sense.

When life happens in tragic situations, like losing people you love, missing out on opportunities you dream of achieving — it gives you another opportunity through it.

The opportunity to help other people deal with the same problem — make their lives better.

Being selfish means pursuing something solely with self-interests.

If you are selfish about your dream, you can go on to inspire and help millions maybe billions of people.

So, be selfless by being selfish.

Being selfish is not an easy task. We are all people-pleasers to the most degree.

Not being a people pleaser doesn’t mean being rude to people. It means knowing where to draw the line.

Be selfish to those derailing you from your goal, be selfish for your dream. Once you achieve it, be selfless by sharing your success with countless people around the world.

There is also another thing to consider when it comes to being selfish.

We must learn to isolate the people who want our physical presence and those who need our emotional presence.

It is perfectly okay doing things that waste your time — trust me. It is perfectly okay to spend time with people who want your physical presence in their lives occasionally.

What is not okay, is ignoring those who need you emotionally, especially when they have been there for you at the same time.

Such people are who you should prioritise. I wish I had learned this sooner, it truly is a valuable lesson.

This makes up your family and very few friends with whom you have shared emotional situations. Those who have prioritised you and always given you the time of their day when you needed it.

So, be selfish to people who are red flags, to be selfless to people you should genuinely spend time with.

Be polite by being stubborn

There is another line. One that exists between being polite and letting people take advantage of you.

Successful people learn the ability to say no. No to almost everything.

No one said you can’t have fun, but sometimes we do things because we are worried if we don’t, our relationship with the other person will be at risk.

It has happened to the best of us. It will keep happening.

Don’t be naive to the fact that no matter how smart you are and productive you are, there are always a hundred things that can waste your time.

Don’t be naive to people who don’t want the same things you want.

If you don’t climb out of the hole, they will trap you in it.

It is called the comfort zone. It creates a false sense of contentment. You feel a sense of belonging in people you know are not the same as you.

Why?

You are afraid of change.

How do I know this? I am terrified of change. I realised change is the only constant thing in this world.

Yes, change can be scary, but there is no progress without change. Change is an agent of change.

No one is perfect, that is how I know change can always benefit you. Because you can always improve.

If you live under the same roof as people who share your dream, they will make you obsessive about it.

Don’t underestimate the power of idiots in large numbers — they can change the world.

Be stubborn to get what you want. You become stubborn by saying no to things that should be said no to.

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Stories I featured in this article (in order);

Dreams
Success
Illumination
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