Be Extremely Vigilant With The Way You Interpret Things
The Story You Tell Yourself Impacts Your Outcomes
Fun fact for ya —
The way you respond to events is not based on what happened.
I’ll use me and my brother as an example…
I’ve never touched a glass of alcohol a day in my life, but he’ll never decline an opportunity to down a maggie.
That’s not to say I’m better or anything; it’s just the way things turned out.
What’s most interesting about this dichotomy is that we were both at the scene the day I decided I was never going to touch a glass of alcohol.
I was around 5/6 which made him 9/10.
My dad, who was a heavy drinker, had been out drinking and came home to cause a ruckus.
He was a lot bigger than everyone in the house (at the time) so the only way to contain him was to call the Police to escort him out.
By the time they arrived, he’d sobered up a bit and was in a more reflective mood…
As they were taking him out, I reached under his pillow. That’s where he kept his bible. I grabbed it and gave it to him.
He looked at me and my brother then just burst into tears.
That was the first time we’d ever seen him cry.
As he was crying, he vowed to us that it would never let himself lose control as he did again. It’s been over 20 years now, he kept his word. My dad doesn’t get drunk anymore. Well, not like how he used to…
When he has a bit to drink nowadays he gets super generous and starts giving away money then goes to sleep.
Anyways…
That was the day I made up my mind I was never going to drink alcohol. I saw the way it makes people lose control of themselves and I didn’t like it.
My brother was there the whole time but he didn’t get the same conviction.
This taught me a vital lesson in life —
How YOU perceive things shapes how YOU respond to the world.
What happens to you isn’t all that important; it’s all about how YOU interpret what happened.
Your behavior is heavily influenced by your view of the future, which takes massive inspiration from the way you think.
This means altering your perception of the world plays an important role in changing your behavior to get the things you want.
The room attendant’s experiment
In a 2007 study, two psychologists set out to understand the impact perception has on exercise and health.
They rounded up a total of 84 female room attendants that worked in seven different hotels and split them into two groups.
In the first group, the women were informed the work they do (cleaning hotel rooms) is good exercise and satisfies the Surgeon General’s recommendations for an active lifestyle — they were also shown examples of how their work acted as exercise.
The women in the second group were not given any information and continued their jobs as normal.
Both groups were monitored and after four weeks were called in to see how their bodies would be impacted.
The results were shocking…
Despite none of their behaviors changing after the intervention (4 weeks prior), the informed group perceived themselves to be receiving significantly more exercise than they had before.
In comparison to the members of group two, members of group one had shown a decrease in weight, blood pressure, body fat, waist-to-hip ratio, and body mass index.
Their perception of things had impacted them so much that their physical composition changed…
The way you see things impacts the way you respond to the world.
Two people get slapped.
One gets angry, the other is aroused.
What’s the difference?
It’s not the slap; they were both slapped exactly the same.
What’s different about the two responses is their perception of the slap.
While one thinks they’ve been dealt the greatest disrespect in modern history, the other has a fetish for pain; being treated like a rag doll is a turn-on for them.
The way you interpret everything determines how you respond.
Not being aware of this phenomenon is extremely dangerous.
Why?
The world is continuously happening and you’re constantly responding.
How you respond will determine your outcomes.
If there’s a well-constructed goal you’re moving toward, there’s only a small set of responses that will move you closer to where you want to go.
Choosing the wrong one can halt your development for long periods, leading to the infuriating feeling of stagnation.
How YOU see things is YOUR reality…
Just the other day I shared a story about How I grew my Medium account by 75.62% in the first seven months of 2023…
Not many noticed the subtle disclaimer I left at the beginning of the story —
“After publishing 350+ stories on Medium, I’ve finally accepted I’m a writer.”
I never saw myself as someone who writes for the first three years of my Medium journey; the result was agonizingly slow growth and several stop-starts.
Now, I see myself as a writer and I’ve gained almost 1200 followers in a month and a half.
The label you place on things determines how you respond to them.
… And you must put a label on things.
This is all to do with how your brain saves energy.
To be more specific, your brain builds neural pathways to help you get things done quicker.
The role of these pathways is to tell your brain which neurons to fire up when you’re about to take up a task you’ve previously encountered.
In other words, labeling things (placing the thing into an existing pathway) allows your brain to save energy cos it doesn’t have to create a new neural pathway each time you come into contact with something.
This is why stereotypes are a thing…
You might see an Asian and automatically think he’s good at math, or you may see a black dude and think he has a big d.. — heart.
Your brain just wants to save energy.
The labels you place on things influence two perspectives that are majorly important for the outcomes you get in life:
- Your identity — how you see yourself determines the actions you take; the actions you take determine the results you get.
- Your worldview — how you see the world structures your beliefs which forms the foundation of your values.
If you’re not conscious of how you label things, it’s highly likely you’re allowing your environment (including past experiences) to define them.
This is a terrible strategy for anyone who wants their life to be different from how it is now.
Following your past wirings for how you respond to tasks would only lead you to respond to them as you always have.
Like Albert Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”
How to develop a positive perception of life: 3 things you can do
Your perception molds, shapes, and influences your experience of reality.
It’s merely a lens through which you view yourself, events, other people, and things.
I wear glasses…
If the glasses I’ve been given aren’t helping me see better, I take them back to the eye doctor to improve the lens.
The difference here is you’re the doctor of your life.
You’re in control of the lens you use to see reality.
It’s your job to make sure it works in your favor.
The way to achieve this is simple.
Here’s three techniques…
1. Take responsibility for everything
Take the blame for everything that happens.
This doesn’t mean you should become an apology machine…
Just see yourself as the main influence in your life.
Change your language from “Why’s this happening to me?” to “This is happening for me.”
When you do so, you become powerful cos you’re no longer the victim.
This means YOU have to be the spark if you want it to be better.
You’re in control.
2. Be willing to see things differently
I learned how to drive in the UK but I’m currently in Ghana.
The way Ghanaians learned to drive is completely different from what we were taught back in the UK.
From hand signals to road signs and even the side of the road they drive on, it’s different.
In Ghana, it’s completely normal for someone to put their arm out the window and do a few hand signals like they're in a Naruto series.
These signs could either mean “stop,” “I’m turning around,” or “overtake me.”
It’s also pretty normal for someone to cut in front of you in traffic or drive on the wrong side of the road with their hazard lights on cos they’re in a rush.
These latter scenarios aren’t necessarily legal, but it’s normal.
At first, this stuff used to bamboozle me. I’d be in my car absolutely losing my shit — “Are you flipping crazy? You dickhead.”
But now I get it…
They didn’t learn the same way I did.
They weren’t brought up how I was.
They don’t know what it’s like to drive in the UK.
Many of them have not been to Europe (or any other developed country) to see what it’s like to have structure enforced.
People in Ghana drive how they’ve learned to drive. It’s a bit erratic, but it’s all they know.
This realization taught me that people out here aren’t “flipping crazy” or “dickheads.”
They’re just following what works for them, which is all they know to do — this makes them no different from you and me (We do what we know).
Anyways…
Be willing to see things differently.
Don’t be like me, trying to compare London to Accra — you’ll lose your mind.
3. Keep trusted people around
Our eyes only point outwards…
Occasionally, this makes it difficult to see what’s going on inside — especially when you’ve been perceiving things a certain way for a long time.
But the workaround is pretty simple…
You must keep yourself around people whose opinions you value.
These are the ones who aren’t afraid to call you out on your bullshit.
They can see the blind spots you can’t.
For example, I’m in a group of solopreneurs. There was a day when we all got assigned a task to go and ask someone for $1…
I did it, along with a few others.
But one guy came back with this response —
“Asking for £1. Man… some distance to close there! Instead here’s what I did: I compiled a list of all clients since 1996. Now ranking the types of expensive problems they hired me for and how much they paid me.”
Bro had one job.
“Ask someone for $1.”
Here’s the first response he got from the leader of the group…
“Happy to see you take action! Make sure you don’t confuse busy work with work that actually moves the needle. Focus on getting that $1 exercise done. Because, as you see, it forces you to not fuck around and tackle the stuff that’s uncomfy.”
You need someone who can pull you up when you’re acting a fool.
Final thoughts
The thing that happens holds zero significance in the grand scheme of things.
What’s more important is the way you perceive it (the label you assign it).
It’s this activity that determines how you respond.
If you wanna start getting more results that align with where you wanna go, learn how to frame every instance in your favor.
Some techniques for that include:
- Taking responsibility for everything
- Being willing to see things differently
- Keeping trusted people around to call you out on your bullshit
I hope this helps.
Thanks for reading!
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