Be Careful What You Wish For

Though sometimes given the opposite of what I wanted but nevertheless gifted with experience.

Prompt: Penetrate the part of you connected to the whole.

The creator has always answered my prayers. It took time for them to come into motion, but that is why it is said to persevere. Not a day goes by that I do not thank him/her from the bottom of my heart.

Though being honest, I do not believe we really need to debacle the gender of the supreme.

What matters is that we take heed to the signs.

It is said that there are those in this world that can decipher the omens shown to people. And these sages understand it because he tests them with hardships to let them become their true selves.

These people probably never wanted them, but inside each lies a calling for answers. It is something that is present in all peoples regardless of caste, color, or creed. The creator is just. He treats people equally. Thus this is his way of testing us whether we can realize his miracles or not.

All of us in this life are struggling, and we turn to him when we need his insight. But most of the time, we are too blinded by the malice in our hearts. This begs to realize that he is always there.

He is omnipresent. He is within us. He waits for us to realize this truth all our lives. He was in our hearts entwined with the magical thread that connects our soul.

It is perhaps because of that. When we truly want something, and we call for it. God listens. He understands. And replies back with experiences that can change their life for the better or for worse.

If they choose to take that blind step, that is.

And I have been foolish enough to go down that road many times, in fact. From an early age, I have always possessed an affinity for adventure. So much so it got me in trouble a lot. But my spirit was like a raging storm that wanted to embrace life with all its zest. I just could not handle myself.

I was too full of energy. I thought I could battle the world and win.

Never knowing that one day I will lose. But I had a mindset to see that defeat as a promising opportunity. Because during my childhood, I experience strife as well as joy. It trained me in a way to connect with myself better.

I honed a mindset that welcomed experiences in all their fury and awe. I embraced each moment of my life and enjoyed it to the fullest, which took me to places far and wide. I came to points where I experienced all nuances in all their glory.

There were times I was confounded by everything that stood in front of me. It was really daunting and enticing at the same time.

How do I feel so much in one situation?

You might be thinking, Boy, he sure is weird! Isn’t he?

But yes, I am a weird specimen of the human race. There is no doubt about it. And I embrace that fact beautifully. Enough that it sometimes rubs people the wrong way. And yes, I have got in trouble because of that.

Over the years, because of my attitude of acceptance. I have found it easy to deal with what comes afterward. Because I can see what lies beyond my worries. I know it will be tough. There is no doubt about it.

The only doubt that does arise is whether I am tired enough to meet the finish line requirements. And that doubt does arise. And it takes a lot of effort for me to get rid of it. It has its timeline. It will pass.

Like all clouds of melancholia, when it rains, it pours. I get wet and go inside to rest until it sets. And eventually, the sun does arise, so does the sunshine.

But in that waiting for good things to come, I ask for other things in my life. I pray, constantly, for more of these experiences. Because I believe I still have more room to grow.

Quite recently, I went on a spiritual pilgrimage with my family and during my travel. When I was about to leave, I thanked God for everything that had happened until that point.

I was thankful for the hardships that came with those choices. And somehow, I asked for more. Honestly, I am shocked right now when I am again in that state of doubt. Because I am tired of experiencing agony and despair.

But I understand why the tests. Why test me? Because I asked for them in the first place, and now I have to bear with the process in mind.

I have experienced a vast deal in my short life span. I am not a saint but a humble sinner who focuses on improving himself through this process of gratitude and acceptance.

We need to be mindful about what we ask from the divine matters a lot in our lives. Perhaps whatever we shall receive depends upon our own prayers and intents. Because the problem is that when the creator responds and he shall.

You should be ready for what might come as a surprise. That it might not be what you wished for. On the contrary, it would be what you asked for. But in extreme cases, that might not be in your favor. And the unfavorable by dumb luck just happened in my case.

I know we have a lot of wants in our lives. We want to live big, have fast cars, or whatever. Honestly, I do not have those kinds of dreams. Though a guy can dream! 😉

Neither do I belittle people who have them.

Everybody has the right to live their best life.

We have to empower and push them to do just that.

To me, my life has always been searching for solutions to problems I wanted to fix. Whether it rose in my life or in the lives of my peers. I wanted nothing but to help and become their aide. This is what I have always prayed for.

To become a resourceful person. And by some miracle, I have become a capable person after a decade or two. How about that?

I just realized this a year or two ago. It clicked.

I mean, I am at the point in my life that the experiences I have had can change people’s lives. And it has.

Because I had the spirit of encouraging people can change.

As I did, so shall they become.

This was one such truth that changed my life for the better. We are all resourceful in that regard. All of us can add joy to each other’s lives. We do not really need anything but our will to add value to our lives.

I have always asked for this Ilm — A set of knowledge that is from the divine.

And at this moment, I do have some Ilm but not all. I gave up on the divine aspect because I accepted my mortality and understood that

I can not face that test just yet.

The repercussions that happened with the following experiences encouraged me to embrace my weaknesses. And looked forward to exploring other horizons that called me home.

The divine has always been there. I understood this fact when I went on a pilgrimage. God was always present in my heart. Where my peers sought him in this world in different things. They found it hard to search him within.

They lacked focus because they never tried hard enough to pay heed to his signs. I mean this in a good way. I have known people to pray only for greed. These prayers are unhealthy and are unfit in many regards.

Because fulfillment comes from something pure of malice. It comes from understanding and acceptance. You can learn only it unless you try, fail, and try yet again. Never giving up on what you know and believe is true.

And in time, through perseverance, it does come clear. You will reach your inner peace. We all have different timelines, different ETAs for our inner soul to be awakened. There is no rush, neither should it be a race. Trusting our processes and taking your due risks matter a lot.

In fact, it takes time.

One such lesson I am hoping to share is that. Even if you ask for things that would not add value to your life and might even come with drawbacks.

Accept them as they are.

It is as simple as that. Accepting your burdens is how you will break free. It has always been this way, instead of healing your shattered self. Take it apart, bit by bit, piece by piece.

Do things that shatter that feeble self that is holding you back. I know we try to escape our pain. But our hardships make us stronger.

They build tolerance. This is what differentiates us from machines. We can feel and channel our feelings stronger than we were before.

Never let yourself lose focus on your goal. Use it wisely.

Because you have everything inside you to become your true self.

Take your risks!

Break Free! You can do it.

As have I.

Believe it.

Stay blessed and Stay safe!