Life Lessons

Be Careful With What You Say “Isn’t For Me”

It isn’t for you if you say it isn’t.

Let’s be 100% real. There’s no possible way that we can excel in everything we pick up.

Some of us are more talented in certain activities while we are mediocre at best in others — at least when we start. So what happens when we stumble across something we aren’t able to pick up as quickly?

Lacking an innate ability to perform a skill often leads to us justifying that that thing “Isn’t for me,” or that “I’m not cut out for this.” Such a defeated mindset may look a little like this:

“Calculus? Pssh that isn’t for me, I’m not a ‘Math person.’ ” “Running? Naaah, I’m not the ‘Athletic type.’ ” “Reading? No thanks fam, I’m not the “Bookworm type of guy.’ ”

Struggling to get the hang of a new skill while your peers seem to pick it up so effortlessly can be discouraging. Especially when you think about the skills you’re already adept at like you were put on this earth to do them, your past successes can trick your mind into believing that “If I can’t figure it now, I won’t figure it out later.”

That’s blasphemous.

With that defeated mindset, sure, you’ll never get the hang of anything. But that’s not the way we should think.

Instead of letting self-doubt cloud our confidence from seeing our true potential, let’s find the silver lining and recognize that you have the control in shaping what skills you can grasp — even if you aren’t “the type” that fits into the mold of those abilities.

Carve Out Your Own Path

“Whether it takes a chisel or a chainsaw, carve out your own path with the skills you‘re eager to adopt, even if the dots don’t connect on the first try.”

I’m 5'8 and 125ish pounds (I was even smaller in high school). Needless to say, I’m built like the prototype thin long-distance runner who does marathons and can run for hours on end, yet I don’t do any of those.

As a college track & field athlete, I do the complete opposite of what my physical traits suggest. I’m a sprinter, meaning that I compete in the 100 and 200-meter dash, rather than the 1+ mile events someone my build is expected to run.

Although my natural speed was relatively decent when I first picked up sprinting back in 2015, my slim and muscle-less physique didn’t benefit me considering that muscular strength and power are also important factors in running super fast for short distances.

Hence, I had to put in a lot more work to build strength for an event a person my size “isn’t supposed” to run. I could’ve taken the easy route and restrict myself to the path of long-distance since my physical traits favored that road. Yet, here I am 5 years later, still running strong entering my last season as a sprinter in college.

The point here is that I didn’t limit myself to the mold that my body was “destined” to follow, in the context of sports.

I listened to what I wanted to do and was keen on improving on, despite the direction my natural abilities and characteristics were pulling me in.

I carved out my own unique path — one that caters to me and me only.

Thus, I learned that keeping this growth mindset is what will allow us to take control and become better at the things we thought we weren’t cut out for.

Maybe you’ve always had an interest in writing fiction, but the sentences you put on paper don’t accurately represent the vivid scenes you played out in your head. It’s as if your writing ability goes out the window when it comes to eloquently describing a story that never happened.

Eventually, you justify this frustration by claiming that you’re not the “writing type,” as if writing isn’t a skill that can’t be learned and honed.

When we tell ourselves that we aren’t meant for something, all we’re doing is confirming our doubts and denying our potential. Whether it takes a chisel or a chainsaw, carve out your own path with the skills you‘re eager to adopt, even if the dots don’t connect on the first try.

Growing Never Stops

Your nature may pave an environment that eases the path to a goal, but the road will always be met with humps that you cannot overcome if you don’t nurture the determination to get around them.

Trust me, you’re going to suck at something you aspire to be good at.

When it does come — and it will — resist the urge to cave into the mold your natural abilities urge you to fill by being willing to put down your ego and expectations when the going gets tough.

Michael Jordan didn’t come into the NBA as the GOAT. Despite how talented he was coming into the league, he didn’t let his undeniable strengths hide his weaknesses.

He didn’t need to refine his 3-point shot when he could just drive to the rim or pull a fade-away with ease. He didn’t need to put in effort on the defensive end when he could put all of his energy into scoring. Yet, he was determined to improve every aspect of his game regardless of how great he already was.

While we probably won’t become a basketball Hall of Famer — implementing the same growth mindset and determination will bring us a step closer to becoming the GOAT in our personal journey.

If one of the greatest players in the NBA can point out and refine the few weaknesses among his arsenal of strengths, we too should be able to set aside our ego to constantly pursue self-improvement in this game of life.

Don’t Cut Yourself Short

Stopping at our strengths gives our weaknesses the green light to dictate what we can and can’t do.

As the adage goes, “A chain is as strong as its weakest link,” so why cut your potential short under the guise that you aren’t “cut out” for the things you’re capable of doing?

We’re not plants destined to grow one type of fruit. You’re not an orange tree that only grows oranges or a grapevine that only grows grapes. You’re a human with endless possibilities and ambitions that can grow if you give it the chance to bloom.