Be Careful Following Your Passion to Achieve Your Dreams
If not balanced properly, your passion can end up controlling you
Is it your ambition to be an artist, athlete, or entrepreneur? Whatever your passion, no matter how fulfilling your dream might seem, carefully think it through and consider your motivations.
The science surrounding how passion works is more complex than once thought. A closer look at the paradoxical mechanisms driving your passions is essential, especially if you want to achieve your dreams without resulting in burnout, feeling depressed, or defeated.
If you’re not careful, passion can quickly become a curse, according to Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness, authors of the bestselling book The Passion Paradox.
Follow your passion, and your life will change — not necessarily a bad thing, but if not managed with a healthy balance, your passion can end up controlling you, and not always in a good way. It can even lead to destructive behavior.
The story of passion
We hear the word passion, and it’s generally related to positive associations. The word itself carries both positive and negative connotations. Its linguistic roots are from the Latin word passio. It translates to “suffering,” precisely the suffering or passion of one man — namely, Jesus Christ.
The word passion evolved over the centuries, slowly taking on a more positive meaning. By the time of the Renaissance (14th to 17th century), prominent poets began using the word to describe feelings of great emotions and uncontrollable desires or feelings for another person.
It’s the current attitude of many Millennials and Generation X to chase down and fulfill their passions. Something they feel the boomer generation largely failed at.
The potent Neurotransmitter dopamine is the same chemical that drives substance addicts to satisfy their cravings. This is also the same element that drives us towards passionate pursuits. Once released, dopamine can push passionate people relentlessly towards their goals to satisfy whatever craving it is they pursue.
The problem is we’re never quite satisfied with the end reward. Consequently, we set our goal bar higher. We place even more importance on chasing our passions. It becomes an endless and potentially destructive cycle. I’ve watched friends self-destruct by setting goals too high while sacrificing mental well-being, health, social connections, and sleep.
Take small steps
Whether it’s a romance, starting a new job, or an activity, if we don’t immediately feel that passion surge we desire, we often assume it’s not the real deal and move on to something else.
This happens when people go on a quest to find that true soulmate. If they don’t get those initial fireworks of passion, many people seek out someone or something else.
We want that rush of dopamine again, very much like a drug. The problem is that every restart is an abandonment of long-term growth potential. It’s this quest for finding that “perfect fit.” Researchers coin this all-or-nothing approach as a fit mindset.
The key is going in and not expecting to find perfection. It’s about approaching a new venture with an incremental attitude rather than going all in at once.
This approach can help regulate your brain’s production of dopamine. Then, if you find out later that things aren’t quite what you expected, you won’t feel completely devastated and can recover more quickly.
When the obsessive pursuit of passion becomes unhealthy
When external validation, outside recognition, and rewards become our primary focus, we can lose touch with our initial motivations.
It’s an unhealthy place to be. It can spiral out of control, causing us to go to drastic lengths to achieve or maintain success, sometimes even going to unethical lengths to get there. One example is Elizabeth Holmes and her obsession with the Silicon Valley startup Theranos.
It’s what prompts some athletes to dabble with performance-enhancing substances to help set new records. It drives writers to plagiarize material in the hopes of getting their work published in The New York Times.
It comes with the feeling of never having enough because dopamine is released during the process and not upon reaching the goal.
Passion should never be motivated by rewards.
We need to learn to see our passions for the joy they bring us during the process and not for the potential rewards.
The truth is we’re more likely to realize those external rewards and reach our goals by being more process-focused rather than result-oriented.
This is what the authors of The Passion Paradox refer to as “harmonious passion.” It’s this idea of continuously developing your passions sustainably over the long term. Taking pride in small achievements keeps you motivated and helps fuel the forward momentum.
Master harmonious passion
Learning to ride out the ebbs and flows that accompany any worthy pursuit is critical. Patience and resilience during these peak-and-valley times is another virtue worth mastering.
Much of this is mindset and attitude. It can be learned through practice and meditative reasoning. Think of your passion as a journey of incremental improvement rather than being the best.
As long as you can navigate the pitfalls of passion still remain harmonious in your pursuits, it can develop and take you on a healthy and prosperous course.
If you practice patience, self-awareness, and control, all the joys and rewards of passion can be yours to enjoy.
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