Be a Better Man: The 4 Faces of Manhood
The world is lacking good men.
Since having a daughter, I’ve become hyper-fixated on making myself into the best man that I can be. Amongst many other paths to this goal, I recently joined a program at my church called “Men’s Fraternity.” One of the early lessons taught about the four faces of manhood, and I think it’s something that all men could benefit from.
The Four Faces
The four faces of manhood are comprised of two pairs of opposing forces that must keep each other in check. If one is too heavily prioritized, it unbalances the other. The four faces are:
- The King: Righteous energy
- The Warrior: Conquering energy
- The Lover: Emotional energy
- The Friend: Connecting energy
The two dichotomies are as follows:
The King and The Warrior
Inside every man in a king and a warrior. The king is in charge of decision making and doing the right thing. The warrior is in charge of aggression and decisiveness.
When the king is too strong, the warrior is suppressed. A man spends too much time in decision making and not enough time actually acting.
When the warrior is too strong, it acts without restraint. It lashes out and hurts the man and those around him.
The Lover and The Friend
Inside every man also resides a lover and a friend. The lover is in charge of care and compassion. The friend is in charge of loyalty and accountability.
When the lover is too strong, feelings take priority. A man is not willing to speak up even when it’s needed for those he cares about.
When the friend is too strong, feelings are neglected. A man becomes too bothered by maintaining proper standards to maintain any meaningful relationships.
The Ugly Caricatures
Whether we’re aware of it or not, we’re always trying to hone in on these characteristics. Unfortunately, we tend to overcorrect in various ways. These can lead to ugly caricatures of each of these four faces.
Distortion of the King
When a king is too strict, it becomes a Tyrant. Too lax, and the king becomes an abdicator.
Distortion of the Warrior
When unrestrained, the warrior is a destroyer. When held back, the warrior is reduced to a wimp.
Distortion of the Lover
If emotions are withheld, the lover is replaced with a man that is cold. If emotions are shared too freely, a man becomes overly critical.
Distortion of the Friend
A man unwilling to make the obligations required for companionship becomes a loner. A man who prioritizes these obligations too much becomes a user.
The Takeaway
Keep what you’ve read about these faces in mind in your coming days and weeks. Focus on honing in on having a proper expression of each of these four faces. Not only that, but ensure you have a healthy balance between their forces in your life.
By following this model, I truly believe we can make at least a dent towards having better men in this world.
Thank you for reading. Please let me know what you thought about this article, and if you enjoyed what you read and would like to read more like this, a follow is always greatly appreciated.
