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1919

Abstract

w some. The alcohol content is a bit high and the traffic cop might not believe you’re not drunk in the event of a stop.</p><figure id="1f4f"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*[email protected]"><figcaption>Photo by Mishaal Zahed on Unsplash</figcaption></figure><h1 id="15ab">Stage 3:</h1><h2 id="b8d7">Dr. Tichenor’s and SmartMouth — The Zinc Zappers</h2><p id="2d0d">When Listerine fails to vanquish the foul breath fiend, it’s time to level up with Dr. Tichenor’s or SmartMouth mouthwash. These potions of power contain zinc, the ultimate enemy of germs that assault your breath. With the ability to keep your breath fresh for 12 to 24 hours, you’ll be the office superhero fighting bad breath one gargle at a time. Just please don’t tie up your tongue in a superhero cape. It’s not a good look.</p><figure id="a0bc"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*[email protected]"><figcaption>Image from SmartMouth.com</figcaption></figure><h1 id="8951">Stage 4:</h1><h2 id="33a0">Gas Masks and Pandemic-Era Disappointment:</h2><p id="8f8f">If for some very lamentable reason none of the above remedies work, let me be the first to tell you:</p><p id="f8ac"><b><i>HOUSTON! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!</i></b></p><p id="65be">When all else fails, desperate times call for desperate measures. You could try convincing your boss to require gas masks in the office. After all, those flimsy pandemic-era masks won’t stand a chance against the assaulting smells of halitosis.</p><figure id="c257"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*[email protected]"><figcaption>Photo by Daniel Lincoln on Unsplash</figcaption></figure><p id="aa9d">Just imagine the sight of your coworkers donning company labeled gas masks as they type away on their keyboards, desperately trying to escape the funk. It may not be the most

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fashionable office accessory, but hey, it’s all in the name of fresh air!</p><h1 id="4581">Stage 5:</h1><h2 id="99ff">Dentist’s Extreme Measures:</h2><p id="1d00">If the battle against bad breath reaches a point of no return, it’s time to bring out the big guns. A dentist’s prescription mouthwash might be the secret weapon you need to combat the relentless odor. And if that’s not enough, drastic measures may be required.</p><figure id="72d3"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*[email protected]"><figcaption>Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash</figcaption></figure><p id="1089">Tooth extraction, root canals, or any other dental procedure that can eliminate the noxious fumes may be on the table. In tandem with that, a good ol’ fashioned enema and colon cleanse combo will likely also be required. Sometimes the smell comes from the very depths of your soul (or your bowels), and must be emphatically rebuked! Just be prepared for the possibility of a few days of chipmunk-like cheek swelling, a temporary lisp, and a raw bum. Ultimately, it’s a small price to pay for fresh breath, right?</p><h1 id="efad">OK, OK! We’ve Got This!</h1><p id="c565">In the epic battle against bad breath, we’ve explored the stages and levels of combat, from basic brushing and flossing to the extreme measures of dental procedures. Remember, maintaining fresh breath in the office is not just a personal quest; it’s a service to your coworkers and their olfactory senses.</p><p id="3b66">So, arm yourself with toothbrushes, mouthwashes, and a sense of humor. Working together, we can make a change! We can conquer the office funk one breath at a time. And if all else fails, well, there’s always the option of remote work. Then you can breathe in your own funk in the peace and solitude of your own home!</p><p id="e4de">Copyright 2023 ~~Joy Yvette~~ All Rights Reserved</p></article></body>

Battle of Bad Breath:

A Guide to Surviving the Office Funk

Ah, the sweet scent of success in the workplace. But wait, what’s that lingering in the air? It’s not the aroma of victory; it’s the defeated agony of bad breath. We’ve all encountered coworkers with halitosis, and because peppermints and Altoids can’t hold off the tide forever, it’s time to tackle this odorous issue head-on.

Stage 1:

Brushing and Flossing — The Foundation of Freshness

In the battle against bad breath, the first line of defense is the humble toothbrush and some good floss. Regular brushing and flossing are like basic training for your mouth, taking out the trash of bits and particles of that cheese omelet with onions you had for breakfast. It’s the foundation of freshness that every responsible adult should embrace. So, grab that toothbrush, put on your game face, and scrub away the stink!

Stage 2:

Listerine — The Mouthwash Marvel

Honestly, mouthwash has become a staple in modern society. It’s THE BASICS 2.0. When brushing and flossing alone can’t conquer the dragon of bad breath, it’s time to bring out the reinforcements. Enter Listerine, the mouthwash marvel that promises to kill 99.9% of germs and leave your mouth feeling minty fresh. Swish, gargle, and unleash the power of minty destruction upon those pesky odor-causing bacteria. Just be careful not to accidentally swallow some. The alcohol content is a bit high and the traffic cop might not believe you’re not drunk in the event of a stop.

Stage 3:

Dr. Tichenor’s and SmartMouth — The Zinc Zappers

When Listerine fails to vanquish the foul breath fiend, it’s time to level up with Dr. Tichenor’s or SmartMouth mouthwash. These potions of power contain zinc, the ultimate enemy of germs that assault your breath. With the ability to keep your breath fresh for 12 to 24 hours, you’ll be the office superhero fighting bad breath one gargle at a time. Just please don’t tie up your tongue in a superhero cape. It’s not a good look.

Stage 4:

Gas Masks and Pandemic-Era Disappointment:

If for some very lamentable reason none of the above remedies work, let me be the first to tell you:

HOUSTON! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!

When all else fails, desperate times call for desperate measures. You could try convincing your boss to require gas masks in the office. After all, those flimsy pandemic-era masks won’t stand a chance against the assaulting smells of halitosis.

Just imagine the sight of your coworkers donning company labeled gas masks as they type away on their keyboards, desperately trying to escape the funk. It may not be the most fashionable office accessory, but hey, it’s all in the name of fresh air!

Stage 5:

Dentist’s Extreme Measures:

If the battle against bad breath reaches a point of no return, it’s time to bring out the big guns. A dentist’s prescription mouthwash might be the secret weapon you need to combat the relentless odor. And if that’s not enough, drastic measures may be required.

Tooth extraction, root canals, or any other dental procedure that can eliminate the noxious fumes may be on the table. In tandem with that, a good ol’ fashioned enema and colon cleanse combo will likely also be required. Sometimes the smell comes from the very depths of your soul (or your bowels), and must be emphatically rebuked! Just be prepared for the possibility of a few days of chipmunk-like cheek swelling, a temporary lisp, and a raw bum. Ultimately, it’s a small price to pay for fresh breath, right?

OK, OK! We’ve Got This!

In the epic battle against bad breath, we’ve explored the stages and levels of combat, from basic brushing and flossing to the extreme measures of dental procedures. Remember, maintaining fresh breath in the office is not just a personal quest; it’s a service to your coworkers and their olfactory senses.

So, arm yourself with toothbrushes, mouthwashes, and a sense of humor. Working together, we can make a change! We can conquer the office funk one breath at a time. And if all else fails, well, there’s always the option of remote work. Then you can breathe in your own funk in the peace and solitude of your own home!