Balancing My Alter Egos

Francesca, The Ring Leader

Francesca has been around for at least a decade or two. Someone exposed her to everyone at my last birthday party, so she is no secret anymore. She was always my alibi or the name to my shenanigans, so people caught on.

Francesca is a badass bitch, to put it bluntly. She takes no shit from anyone. She is wise, witty, and can play any game.

She is adventurous and daring; well-traveled. She is independent, educated, resourceful, and can hold a conversation about anything with anyone.

I created her for me, and I strive to be like her. Over time and through a lot of turbulence, I have become her in a lot of ways.

The problem is sometimes a hyper, overinflated version of her comes out. One that has no tolerance and no forgiveness. One that’s hard and cold. She can be stubborn, and she has the sharpest knives to cut someone off as if they never existed.

Sometimes she doesn’t even sound like a lady; she sounds like she came out of prison. Every other word is an F-word. Loud and offensive.

It’s the injustice that makes her furious. Deception and no common decency will fuel her up like a ticking bomb. You don’t want to cross her. She can be aggressive. I’ve seen her seconds away from being arrested, and right back into anger management classes. Naturally, no one wants to be around when she’s hyper like that.

When it comes to romantic relationships, she will let me be myself, but there have been times I had to call her. She had to come, smack me, and get me going with my head held high, while she’s flashing the middle finger. She has no tolerance for weak men, insecure men, men who learn to play women from books and YouTube videos.

While I want to love and be loved, she’s hard! She doesn’t get seduced by fake flattery, flashy pockets, and other superficial things; she gets angry! She has her own damn American Express Platinum, and she can buy her own drinks. She will walk out in a heartbeat, dragging me with her.

It’s because she is protecting me, maybe. That’s why she gets aggressive. She wants me to be more like her, and fight for what I truly deserve, and I do. That’s the issue sometimes. Francesca comes out, and the situation gets out of hand.

After plenty of efforts trying to keep Francesca out of trouble, I decided she needed a friend to balance her out. Someone to keep her away from bars and other trouble. Most importantly, someone to keep her from getting her emotions all worked up and acting out aggressively.

In my new personal quest and research for the truth, and the meaning of life, I created Minerva, after the Roman Goddess of Wisdom.

My friends pronounce it by dragging the middle, Me-nieeeeer-va; that sounds like a Russian woman with red hair. It’s my JustDance account name; that’s why they call me that. I keep telling them she’s not Russian.

Minerva is all those extraordinary things Francesca is, both powerful Goddesses, but Minerva is cool as a cucumber. Her emotional intelligence is high, and she knows how to react tactfully to any conflict.

Her mind, body, and spirit are always balanced and in tune with the Universe.

She’s also well-traveled and studies things like Buddhism and Kabbalah, meditates, exercises, reads ancient wisdom, and drinks water. She has more empathy and patience with people, as she knows we are all connected in some Universal way. She practices Buddhist non-attachment, thus always living wholly free and happy. She doesn’t suffer from attachment, egotism, and materialism.

Minerva and Francesca are taking me to that next level in life; Georgia 2.0 — Enlightenment, transcendence, manifestation, and complete connection with the Universe.

Minerva keeps all of us grounded and in low-vibrational energies for the most part. It’s been great. We all have been in the best shape of our lives, mentally and physically. Even Francesca stopped drinking, which has done wonders to her aggression.

They are getting to know each other.

Just because I created Minerva doesn’t mean Frescasca doesn’t act out. She still loses her shit. I don’t blame her sometimes; life will place you in the middle of the worst people. Even Minerva goes unresponsive.

Minerva will try to relax and help me write, but sometimes everyone will urge Francesca to start her rants and F-words. Minerva gets annoyed, I get annoyed, and then everyone is annoyed with me.

Francesca tries to instigate Minerva, and they get into it, but Minerva wins with her patience most of the time. Francesca just wants attention, and Minerva finds a way. Even though Minerva is a big help, I can’t write when all this is happening. There is too much noise and indecisiveness happening at once to concentrate.

I just take one on a walk, so the other can get herself together.

If I am walking with Francesca, we are walking fast and aggressively. I dont try to slow her down because that’s what burns calories, but no way to meet any of the fellas walking around. Minerva doesn’t care about them either; she strolls, wondering and marveling at all the flowers and the trees.

One of these days someone will stop one of them, and introduce himself. Maybe.

Sometimes Minerva takes Francesca out for a walk so I can write. They enjoy each other's company but they are content by themselves too. I try to keep them balanced and working together.

We all sit in peace, meditate, and digress from the world

Lokah Samastah Sukhino Nhavantu